The Top Golf Stinks Posts of 2010!

We don't know about you, but 2010 seemed to go by faster than a ball headed for OB! Nevertheless, here we are at the end of December - a time to reflect back on all the fun times during the year. And that's precisely what we're going to do here - list our top 10 blog posts of 2010 (based on page hits)!

So enjoy re-reading these (or if you're new to our blog, enjoy reading them for the first time)! And don't forget about our giveaway at 11:59 tonight on our Facebook page - hey you never know...you could win a $50 gift card to Golf Galaxy!

OK, here we go...from #10 all the way down to our most frequently read post of the year at #1:

Number 10

Stinky Golfer's Wives; We Do Exist - Back in July, Stinky Golfer Chris' wife commandeered his laptop and penned her own blog post about life as the wife of a stinky golfer!

Number 9

Why I Love Taking 5 Hours to Play Golf - Last month, Stinky Golfer Greg got both cheered and jeered after explaining he thinks it's OK to play a round of golf in 5 hours!

Number 8

These Raisins Put it Down the Middle Every Time... - In August, Stinky Golfer Greg shared his favorite new commercial with us!

Number 7

Pimp My Golf Cart (Redux) - Continuing on the success of his first post about tricked-out golf carts, Stinky Golfer Pete revisited the world of pimped EZ-Go's and this time included a couple of video clips!

Number 6

Throw, Throw, Throw your Club like an A-Hole on the Green... - Earlier this month, Stinky Golfer Greg offered his thoughts on golf club throwing...and conducted a poll to see how you felt about it too! There's still time to add your opinion on the not-so-graceful art of golf club tossing!

Number 5

When is it Too Hot to Play Golf? - In July, Stinky Golfer Chris explained that some people will play in any heat...But not him!

Number 4

The Truth About Walking the Golf Course - October is a great month to walk the golf course - and Stinky Golfer Greg highlights a study that proves golf can equal exercise!

Number 3

The Economics of Golf - In this eye-opening breakdown of golf's contribution to the U.S. economy, Stinky Golfer Greg examines a study that shows how and where the golf industry makes its money...and you may be surprised!

Number 2

Custom Fitting Golf Clubs: Worth It? - In June, Stinky Golfer Chris was approaching a golf milestone - he was about to be custom fit for new clubs! In this candid post, he ponders if it will all be worth it.






and finally...

Number 1

Is USGA Membership Worth It? - After years of trashing his annual membership form, Stinky Golfer Greg explains why 2010 may be the year he finally joins the USGA!


So here's looking forward to another year of stinking at golf! Bring on 2011!
-Golfstinks Team

Related Posts: The Top Golf Stinks Posts of 2009!

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Kids These Days...

Little snot nose brats make me laugh, but their parents who let them get away with it are even better. I was at a local golf shop putzing around recently and stumbled across a young kid and his mother. This little punk's snappy attitude towards his mother made me want to slap him...but, not my kid, not my job.

Apparently the young'un wanted to take-up golf and was looking for a set of clubs. So, the sales person had him hitting balls to warm up. It was obvious the kid had never really played and after a few swings the salesperson suggested a starter set and went to grabs a few clubs from it. This spoiled kid takes one look at the clubs asks how much they cost and tells his mother "I can't play with those pieces of junk! I want the Nike's..."

The salesperson calmly explained to the mother that the Nike's cost a lot more...about $600 more. And to start with those clubs, especially if the kid might not end up playing a whole lot, doesn't really make sense. He could have easily pushed those clubs on them and made his commission, but he did what he should have done and (from what I saw) advised them properly.

The kid persisted that the starter set was not for him. So, the sales person (who looked like he had been through this before) tells the kid that they're going to run a few tests to see what would be best. He took a 7 iron from both the starter and Nike set and tapes the bottom and back of the head (so you couldn't really see which was which). He had the kid swing both and then asked him which one felt better. Just as suspected, the kid had no clue.

Now that the point had been proven, the kid started making a big stink and demanded he get the Nike set. He said something along the lines of "I will never speak to you again and you don't love me...blah blah blah...if I don't get these Nike clubs." Are you f#$@ing kidding me?!?! If I ever spoke like that to my parents as a kid, it would have been knuckle sandwiches for dinner (maybe not that bad but not that far off either). That's when I left the area, I couldn't deal with this kid anymore. And if I stayed any longer I probably would have thrown my 2 cents in...

I'll tel ya'...the lack of respect these days is heart breaking. And then you wonder why the course is littered with morons acting like they're Jack Nicklaus but playing like a bunch of Jack Asses.

Hit'em long, yell FORE!! Respect your parents...

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Are You Playing Winter Rules Or Simply Cheating?

It's Sunday night and I just finished the second round of shoveling during what is currently the largest snowstorm of the winter so far.

Well, that's not entirely true. I actually just watched my kids handle the second round of shoveling. But I handled the first round. And I'll also be handling the third. Further, I'm sure I'll handle all of the remaining shoveling from here on out.

But, while I was out during round 1, in order to attempt to make the process a little less mundane, I had to try to work something sports-related into the process. So of course, golf is the way to go. A snowball perched on top of a small mound does the trick. I gotta tell you...I hit some memorable shots out there today.

It was when I began to freeze my ass off and noticed I was accomplishing nothing when I realized people actually do this! By "this" I don't mean shovel. I mean golf...In the snow! As if the sport isn't challenging enough, some choose to do it in wintry conditions! But why? Why would someone subject themselves to these torturous conditions? Because they're cheaters, that's why!

Now why would I say something like that? Well it's simple really. Ever hear the term "winter rules" or "preferred lies?" Of course you have. But is it just me, or do both terms sound a bit, oh...I don't know...made up? Well guess what, they are! Neither of these terms actually exist anywhere in any of the rules of golf. So when you see that sign outside of your local course stating "Winter Rules In Effect Today," it's nothing more than a license to cheat. It means only to kick, move or place your ball just about anywhere you would like on the course!

"Winter rules" are just a local rule. But I hesitate to call it a "rule" since there really is no clear definition. Yeah, I could state some of the "guidelines," but what good would that really do? If there are no actual rules and a feeble attempt at putting down some guidelines, then there's no other way to describe it other than permission to cheat.

So now that I've established that, only one question remains - If the question of whether or not "winter rules"are or are not in effect, what the hell are you doing on the course to begin with?

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Merry Christmas!!

Twas the day before christmas, when all through golfstinks, not a stinky golfer was stirring on the course or the links

The clubs rest in their bag all clean and nice, in hopes that Jack Nicklaus would give some advice

The four stinky golfers nestled all snug in their beds, while visions of zero handicaps danced in their heads

And Tom in his onesie with feety's and a cap, had just settled in for his quick disco nap

With an old persimmons driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a minute it must be Jack Nick

More rapid than eagles his courses he did claim, and he whistled and shouted...dude, this guy had game

Now Greg, now Chris, now Tom, now Pete...You have a long way to go before me you can beat

I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight...Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!

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Happy New Year Golfers! Here's 50 Bucks...

From time to time throughout the year, we here at the Golf Stinks blog will take a moment to thank our fans for all their support - and this is another such occasion.

This time around, we'd like to express our gratitude by running a $50/$50 New Year's Eve giveaway through our Facebook page! Here's how it works:

On New Year's Eve at 11:59 PM, we will pick one NEW fan (anyone who became a Golfstinks Facebook fan since 12/1/10) to win a $50 gift card to Golf Galaxy!

But what about all of you who were fans before December? Well, that's where the 50/50 part comes in! Whoever referred the first winner will ALSO win a $50 gift card to Golf Galaxy!

That's right, we're giving away TWO $50 gift cards! We thought this would be a great way to welcome new fans while rewarding our long-time fans! So start telling your golfing buddies to "like" the Golfstinks Facebook page ASAP - the more friends you refer, the greater your chances of winning! But hurry, we'll be posting the winners on our Facebook page on December 31, 2010 at 11:59 PM EST!

Click HERE to become a new fan (hit "like") or start referring your friends (hit "suggest to friends")!

Thanks again, good luck and Happy New Year!
-Golfstinks Team

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Get Some Wings & Beer, The Final Round Is On!

It's Sunday afternoon and Stinky Golfer Dog and I have just finished watching the Giants blow a huge lead and lose. To that I say...YAY!!!! Dog, a typical fair-weather Giants fan, does not agree with my sentiments.

But as we're watching the games, I start to realize it's almost every Sunday that either I have a buddy or two over to watch the football games, or I'm invited somewhere to watch them. Sunday afternoons watching the games by myself are few and far between.

But it's not like this for other sports. I'll get together with some friends to watch basketball once in a while. Some of the bigger rivalry baseball games will also call for the occasional gathering. But do you know what sport my buddies and I have never gathered for? Yup, you guessed it...golf. Not the Masters. Not any of the Opens. Not the Championship. Nothing. Why? Well, for me anyway, the answer is simple...because it's boring!

For non-golfers, it's easy to say the sport itself is boring and that's why they don't play. But we golfers know differently. Once we're out there on the course, it's far from boring. But that doesn't mean it's not boring on TV. I'm sorry, but it is. Golf as a spectator sport just doesn't satisfy my appetite for competition. Watching golf live is not bad, but on TV? It's like gathering your friends around the backyard to watch the grass grow. But what I haven't quite figured out is, why is it like that?

I enjoy the sport. I participate in the sport. We're watching the best of the best on the pro tour. So why do I have no interest? Why don't I call up the guys and say "Where are we watching the final round on Sunday?" I try to think of reasons, but I haven't come up with many:

Firstly, there's the commentary. It's dull. It's too quiet and reserved. It's....well...boring! Now I'm not saying I want early 80's John Madden style commentary. That's certainly not necessary for golf. But it couldn't hurt to spice it up a bit. Change up the tone on a great shot. I don't want to hear words like "useful" and stuff like that. That's just become more of a joke now. If you want to draw in a younger audience (and lets face it, the current core audience isn't getting any younger) then you have to make the sport more exciting to watch. Livening up the commentary couldn't hurt.

Second, and we've touched on this before, who the hell are these guys that we're watching? Most of the players in these tournaments are unknowns to the casual golf fan. If I don't have a vested interest in the players or a reason to follow them, then why would I care to watch? I'd much rather just go out and play myself!

But that's about all I can come up with. I don't get excited to watch a golf tournament on television, whether Tiger is playing or not. At most, I check in just to see what's going on and who's leading. I'll stick around for a few shots, but not much more. Apparently, my golfing buddies all feel the same.

So if I'm a participant in the sport, and my buddies are also, but collectively we just don't care all that much about watching it, the PGA may have a potential problem on their hands in the future. Because if that's the situation for me and my buddies, I'm sure there are all too many more like us out there.

Swing 'til you're happy!

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Cry Me A River...All The Way To The Bank.

Not too long ago I wrote about Mr. Woods and his public apology via an editorial HERE. We discussed how he has to stay in the lime-light no matter what. Well, here's another boost there Tiger ol' pal.

"NEW YORK (AP) - Tiger Woods' humbling return to the public eye, from his televised confession to a winless season on the golf course, was voted the sports story of the year by members of The Associated Press.

There were 176 ballots submitted from U.S. news organizations that make up the AP's membership. The voters were asked to rank the top 10 sports stories of the year, with the first-place story getting 10 points, the second-place story receiving nine points, and so on.

The Woods saga received 1316 points, with the Saints' title getting 1215 and the NBA free agency frenzy coming in third with 1085."

Unbelievable, sports story of the year. Let me get this straight; he cheats on his wife (a couple dozen times) and is served divorce papers. On top of that he didn't win anything this year and he gets an award for this? Sports story of the year! I mean really, the AP couldn't find a high school that overcame the odds and won a state championship or something that people will say "Wow, what a great story!"? WTF!

I understand it was a big story but...jeez...New Orleans gets destroyed, they rebuild and the first season back the Saints bring home a much needed Super Bowl trophy. Doing so they bring widespread joy and raise the morale a bit. That sounds like a "Sports Story of the Year" kind of story.

It looks like Mr. Woods truly is a natural born winner. Even when he loses he wins...and I'm not hating on the guy because of this. My problem is that he is a role model to kids and the press needs to be careful. I could just imagine some of his younger fans. "Mom, Dad look! Tiger got 'Sports Story of the Year.' Do you think one day I will get it too for being like him?"

Hit'em long...yell Fore!

For the complete story from Sports Illustrated click HERE.

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Golf's Version of Male Penis Envy

There's a conversation that inevitably happens while in the presence of other golfers whom I've never met...and it goes something like this:

Golfer #1: "I'm a 12 handicap!"
Golfer #2: "Really? I'm a 10!"
Golfer #3: "I've recently worked myself down to a 4!"
#1 & #2: "Wow! That's awesome!"

Then they all turn and look at me. With my hands in my pockets and my head down, I haphazardly kick at a broken tee by my feet. Briefly, it crosses my mind to lie. But then I immediately realize my first shot would expose me for who I really am. Sheepishly, I utter the truth: "I'm an 18."

Silence.

Then #3 breaks the ice by telling #1 to go ahead and tee off.

F'ing golf handicaps. I suddenly feel like the least endowed man in the locker room. That's the way it is with the handicap system - it groups the good players and the hacks into separate buckets. This is even more true when you're off the course. Think back to when you've met someone at a non golf-related event and realized you both like golf. I'd bet one of the first things that came up was your handicap.

A few years ago, I was at my wife's work holiday party and she introduced me to her co-worker's husband. Not knowing many other people there, we struck up a conversation that eventually led to us talking about golf. His first question after both of us acknowledged playing golf was, of course, "What's your handicap?" Turns out this guy was a 7. Though we continued our conversation amicably, I just got the feeling he immediately placed me below him in the category of general life successfulness.

OK, perhaps that sounds a bit nuts. But we class people all the time for non golf-related stuff, don't we? Consider this: You're introduced to someone from the same town as you. One of the first thoughts would be to tell each other which neighborhood you live in, right? Well if that person lives in the nicest neighborhood in town, do you think to yourself: "Hmmm, must be rich" (or something along those lines)? Be honest!

Well, it's the same for golf, except our measuring stick is the handicap system. Have you ever noticed foursomes are generally comprised of people with similar golfing abilities? For example, my foursome's handicaps range from 18 to 26. Likewise, a group of low handicappers typically won't play with hackers. I've actually heard a few decent golfers state they won't play with anyone over a 10 handicap because it will "ruin their game." WTF? You know, many people who keep a handicap typically play the same course all the time. If I played the same course all the time, I bet I could lower my handicap too. I mean, probably not down to scratch, but...but I digress.

Anyway, as golfers, perhaps we need to change the way we interact with each other (grant me some leeway here). What if we thought of it in these terms instead: Asking someone to reveal their handicap is like asking them to reveal their salary. To me, it elicits the same kind of subliminal "classing" in someone's head.

Generally speaking, most hacks are pretty down-to-earth about their golfing wretchedness. I know I am. In fact, if people didn't ask me about my handicap the second they realize I play golf, I'd tell them almost immediately that I stink at golf anyway! But asking for someone's handicap - that just instantly puts your game on a scale - people know exactly where they stand in comparison to you and that leaves me feeling a little "exposed." But if I just tell someone "I stink at golf" - that leaves it rather ambiguous. Then if we go play and I shoot an 89, they tell me: "Oh, you're much better than I expected!" See? I like that approach way better than letting a statistic speak for me.

So seeing as the vast majority of golfers stink, it's probably best to keep your handicap to yourself...

And then only reveal it when you need to (like at the club tournament table)...
XG65A7AXYUV2
Oh, and even in that case, for God's sake, whisper it!

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Holiday Shopping, The Stinky Golfer Way

Do you think dear old dad may be getting tired of the same old gifts this holiday season? I mean, how many ties and bottles of cologne does one person really need? Even if dad is a golfer, is it the same gifts year in and year out? A new box of balls or some head covers? Don't get me wrong, these are nice gifts. I'm just saying, this year, why not go a bit of a different route?

I'm not saying you have to go out and spend a months salary on a new set of clubs for the big guy. It's not about that. But don't you think, maybe just this one time, he might just want something a little...I don't know...different?

Last year we mentioned a few things that are a little bit out of the price range of most. But we've also mentioned a few other items that are likely well within the range of most, but at the same time, may be a bit different than the normal golf gifts given in the past. We've mentioned the Golf Genie, a pocket golf guide to just about all of the shots you could possibly encounter on a golf course, for only $15! We've also given away to one lucky winner, a Player's Pass, a $67 membership which allows access to thousands of golf courses at discounted rates. See, I've just given everyone two good, inexpensive ideas!

But maybe those aren't quite up your alley. Maybe you feel safe with just the same old same old. Well, the least you could do is switch it up a bit. If you have to stuff the stocking full of golf balls, then maybe you go to a place like golfballs.com and pickup a box or two of personalized golf balls for prices as low as $18! Looking for something other than golf balls, but still want to stay in that comfort zone? How about cruising on over to customheadcovers.com where, for as little as $9 a piece, you can choose between cartoons, flags and sports team logo club head covers. There's enough there that you're guaranteed to find something the golfer in your life is sure to appreciate!

But if you're looking for something that's almost sure to be different than what's out there (Warning: Shameless plug about to happen), then why not check out the golfstinks store? You'll find gifts for him, her, kids and pets! And, for now anyway, you're almost sure to be the only one on the course sporting the golfstinks logo! Plus, who knows...you may be the first to start a new trend?!

So here's your opportunity to go in a bit of a different direction for the golfer you're shopping for. For one year anyway, skip the crazy golf gadget and get something they can truly enjoy. Something they may not have expected. Something fresh and new. You never know...they might actually enjoy it!

Shop 'til you're happy!

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Too Cold To Golf...

That's right, up here in the Northeast winter time means no more golf for a few months. So, what I do is the next the best thing - surf the web! Actually, a few months back, John Jones, a friend of Golfstinks.com posted a video of a pretty cool golf shot he made. Check it out:




And to back it up, here's another:





Pretty impressive there Johnny Boy! Any of you guys out there got something worth watching (such as these) post the link in the comment section.

Hit'em long...yell....SWISH?!?!

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Throw, Throw, Throw your Club like an A-Hole on the Green...

...Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily yell and be obscene. Everybody! Throw, throw, throw your club...

I can't tell you how many clubs I've seen go flying across the golf course in my lifetime. I've been guilty myself of tossing a club after a wretched shot - though I'll typically throw it towards the base of my golf bag (it releases the anger, yet there's no need for me to walk 30 yards out of my way to retrieve it).

I have one golfing buddy who will throw a golf club at least once a round - and he doesn't do it for amusement either - he's genuinely so angry at himself that he'll let it fly like Peyton tossing one from mid-field into the end zone.

When my fellow stinky golfers and I first started playing with him, we'd all laugh out loud (much to his chagrin) while watching his 7-iron float down the fairway. One time we had to make a human chain so we could retrieve his club from a pond! But then the amusement began to wear off. The problem was he'd remain angry and it would keep him from enjoying the rest of his round.

For a time, we would just chuckle under our breath when he'd let the war sticks soar, in hopes he wouldn't get more angry from our laughter. But now? Now it's just kind of annoying. I want to say: "Come on man, it's only a game." Ah, but those words are like fingernails on a chalkboard to someone like him. He's a good guy, but takes golf (in my opinion) way too seriously. And there are plenty of others just like him.

What is it about this game that brings out so much anger? I guess one possibility is the competitive nature of sports in general. As I mentioned above, I've thrown a few clubs in my day, but I don't think I was unapproachable afterwards. I would quickly snap out of it by the time I bent down to pick up my club. But the competitiveness in some people won't let them forget so easily.

Hey, getting angry at yourself after a terrible shot (or after a series of terrible shots) is understandable. But you need to quickly put it behind you. Golf is a calm and patient game - if you don't embody those qualities out on the course, you may be forever frustrated with this sport.

So if you're a frequent club tosser, keep in mind what you're projecting about your personality to your playing partners. Are they laughing on the outside, but shaking their heads at you on the inside?

How Often Do You Throw Your Golf Clubs?

PS: In no way do I condone club throwing. And my apologies if "Row, Row, Row your Boat" is stuck in your head the rest of the day like it was for me yesterday after I wrote this.

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My New Approach To Golf's Offseason

Do you want to see something foolish? Take a look at that photo to the left. I mean, really now. Sure, that stall is covered and heated, but are you so desperate to hit a golf ball that you'll stand outside in freezing temps at a snow-covered range on which you'll likely have no idea where your ball actually lands? Yeah...me too.

I'll admit to several times being that guy. Whether it's out of boredom, or my genuine want to improve at this game, I've been known to hit a driving range a few times between the months of December and February. I know I could go to an indoor range, and I will. But there's still something about tracking the flight of the ball.

But this offseason, I think I'm going to try something different. This offseason, I think I'm going to shut golf out completely. But I have reasoning behind this, and it's really very simple. It seems as if the more I work in the offseason, the fewer results I see - and this past season was the worst yet. Coincidentally, last offseason was the one in which I practiced the most.

Now I'm not saying I'm not going to practice at all. I will still hit the indoor range once or twice, but that's it. You see, when I first took up this game, that's about as often as I would work in the offseason. And guess what....I improved every year! But it seemed when I would work more in the offseason and try to focus on individual aspects of my game, other parts of my game would suffer. What this added up to was higher scores, a drop-off in improvement and more frustration once out on the course.

So this offseason I am going to try to counter that by going back to the way things used to be. No more standing out in the cold at the range. Just a trip or two to the indoor range to keep the basics of my swing in order and that's it. I figure by not focusing on any certain aspect of my game, I won't lose anything anywhere else. Plus, let's face it, the practice time adds pressure to perform when you get back out on the course. You go back out there expecting to see results, and if they don't show right away...you know what I mean. Who wants to go through that?

So over the next several months, golf will be merely a distant memory. No pressure to work on the game. No high expectations. No disappointment when the expectations don't pan out. And hopefully, with any luck, I'll show some improvement...just like the old days before I tried!

Swing 'til you're happy!

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Thank You!

Every so often it helps to look back and reflect upon what you have accomplished or how you have gotten to certain point in life (good or bad I might add).

It�s pretty cool to think how roughly a year and 4 months ago we started this blog and thankfully had the opportunity to watch it develop. Speaking of being thankful, there�s a few thanks I would like to give.

First and foremost, all of our viewers because without anybody reading this we wouldn�t know what to do with ourselves and probably resort to our old ways of mugging people on golf courses. Seriously, it is an honor to have such a great bunch of people following our blog and words definitely can not express my gratitude. Thank you!

I want to thank my fellow stinky golfer brethren, Greg, Chris and Tom with whom I have embarked on this voyage. I figured I would make it official and put it in writing. So, thanks guys! It�s almost unreal to think how long we�ve been at this thing of ours (that would be referring to golfstinks and not cosa nostra if anyone was wondering).

Lastly, I want to thank all of those in the golf community that give me material to write about. Especially the ones that really mess up or do something stupid and give me a chance to poke at it. Hey, it�s all for entertainment, no hard feelings.

Hit�em long, yell FORE! Thanks again!

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Shut Up And Play Your Own Game!

Sometimes it seems to me that many golfers are more concerned with the etiquette and/or actions of other golfers than they are with just golfing themselves. Am I imagining this? I don't think so.

It seems it never fails. We'll be out on the course, and some yahoo we get paired up with begins droning on about how someone in the group ahead of us is pissing him off because he's doing something "wrong." It's after about three or four holes of this that I want to wrap my nine-iron around this guy's neck.

I wonder how many golfers are like this. How many golfers take this game so serious that they actually get visibly angered by the play of other golfers. I understand if someone is just deliberately slow. But to get that angry about it? Come on now.

Some people complain about the most ridiculous things on the course. Sometimes these complaints may even have nothing to do with, or have any effect on, the round they are playing. So I get to thinking about some of the most ridiculous complaints I hear from other golfers. Let's take a look.

1. The guy who needs absolute silence, even when he's not hitting his shot - Mr. Anti-social. Look, one of the main reasons I play golf is for the camaraderie. I want to have conversation. I want to make jokes. I want to have a good time out there. But you have a guy who is taking his game so serious that you'd think he was on the back nine on Sunday within two strokes of the lead! Dude, lighten up. If you need silence at all times and can't be social with the people you're paired up with, then wait for the chance to play by yourself. As a matter of fact, with that attitude, I can understand why you showed up alone to begin with!

2. The guy who takes offense to your betting. Hey pal, mind your business. Why is this any of your concern to begin with? What does my $2 Nassau have to do with your round. Now, I understand if we're talking about the bet during your swing. And I understand if we're holding up the round because we're trying to figure out who owes who what money. But if that's not the case, and we're just betting because we want to bet...then how is this a problem for you?

3. The guy who is worried about another golfer's appearance. Again, how does this have any affect on you or your game? Why do you care if the guy in the group ahead of us is not wearing a collared shirt? Did you shank that last drive because you were distracted by that guy's cut-off jean shorts? I don't care if the guy is in his pajamas! He's playing golf. We're at a golf course. Seems OK to me! So what if he's wearing a pair of Chuck Taylors rather than Foot-Joy's! As a matter of fact, the more ridiculous someone looks, the more entertaining it is for me and my buddies!

4. The guy who doesn't understand the difference between slow play and poor play. If the group in front of you has a guy who takes his time getting to his ball, and when he finally gets there he takes a little while to decide which club to use. Then he has to take eight or nine practice swings, address the ball, step away, take a couple more swings, etc....then go ahead and complain. But if the person just isn't a good golfer, but he's trying...then shut your pie hole. None of us are born golfers. It takes practice. You know, at one time, you sucked also. And it's even worse when the complaint is about a couple of senior citizens who don't quite move as quickly as they once did. Hey buddy...you'll be lucky to reach that age someday and still be able to come out here and play. If you do, do you want people complaining about you? Didn't think so.

5. The guy who calls you out for a gimme or for using your toe iron. It's not a competition pal and I don't take it all that serious. We're not playing against each other. If we were, then go ahead and say something to me. But if I give my ball a little nudge out from behind a rock...it's not your concern. I didn't change the numbers on your scorecard. I didn't move your ball. I didn't cause you to lose a bet, did I? Of course not...because you're offended by my wager to begin with!

There are many more, but I think I've made my point by now. All I'm trying to say really is, don't be "that guy." Just enjoy the game for what it is. Relax. Have fun. Don't be in such a hurry and don't worry about what everyone else is doing. Just play your game and have a good time. If you were that great at this sport, then trust me....you wouldn't be paired up with me and my golfing buddies in the first place.

Swing 'til you're happy!

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Sorry, You're Banned From the Back Tees

The view always seems better from the back tees, doesn't it? I've played at some fantastic locations over the years and it never fails - the scenery just seems to "pop" more from back there.

I've photographed most of the courses I've played. I'm not much of a photographer, but I've taken a few winners in my day and it's usually on the back tees where all my best photos are captured. I'll try and snap a few from the middle tees, but I always end up walking back for a better view.

The fact is, when you stand at the tips of a course, you're seeing what the course architect intended you to see - how the hole is "really" supposed to look. Leave that championship tee box and the view, the hole...the entire feeling just loses something.

And what of the challenge? A golfing buddy once told me: "You have to play from the tips because if you don't, you're not really playing the golf course." Is this true? It sounds reasonable - I don't think many architects design a course from the greens back. Typically, they design it from the tips forward - positioning the middle and forward tees somewhat after the fact.

This all seems logical to me. Screw it! I'm playing the back tees from now on! I'll take-in all the best views and test my metal on the true course layout! Boy, this is gonna be great! That is, of course, until I realize none of my tee shots are finding the fairway because A) they're either not long enough to make it over the caliche from back there or B) I couldn't successfully play a fade or draw around a corner to get it to the fairway.

You see, the reality is I have no business playing from back there, and neither do many of you. Yet I see it all too often. A couple of clowns who barely know how to hold a club are teeing it up from the tips. The result? A long afternoon on the course. Look, unless you know the course well, most average hacks should be teeing-off from the middle tees. For one, you won't get frustrated because you shot 10 strokes over your average. Second, you won't be holding up everyone on the course because of your struggles.

Heck, the USGA even came up with a rating system to help you decide which tee box you should play from. It's called the Slope Rating. Want to learn more? Read my post from last year called "What the Crap is a Slope Rating?" This is something our pal Tom over at the golfnoise blog should have done before he and his buddies let the way they were dressed get in the way of which tee-box they played from.

So, should average golfers never get to experience the course the way it was intended to be experienced? Not necessarily. Last week I wrote about the joys of playing golf when very few people were out on the course. I mentioned that if no one is behind you, it's OK to slow down and take in more of the scenery.

Next time there's plenty of room between you the group behind you, this is a perfect time to try playing from the tips. If one group starts to catch up, let them play through. The less stress you put on yourself, the better you'll play. Of course, don't say I didn't warn you when you shoot 10 strokes over your average from back there.

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Golf...A Game Of Averages?

Literally, golf is dominated by averages. Besides the whole thing of handicapping and averaging your scores or figuring out your GIR or how many putts per round so on and so forth. Averages rule this roost...average golfers that is.

Power in numbers my friends and the best thing about that is every golfer is involved in the process of figuring out the "average" golfer. From scratch golfers to scratched-out-scorecard golfers, we are all tossed into the big ol' number cruncher and voila - the average golfer is born.

I like to look at other numbers to average that are more realistic and mean more to my game. So here are a few of my criteria that help me determine where I stand.

• How many balls did I lose?
• How many Mulligans did I take?
• How many clubs are broken or need repair?
• How many obscenities did I use?
• How many times did I yell "Fore!!!"?

You get the point. In this game of averages why not use some thing that makes sense. As an average golfer, if I went home after a round and told the warden or one of my buddies "Hey, today I averaged 2.4839409 putts per hole." They could care less but if I told them that I only took 3 mulligans and only used the "F" word 7 times - they could relate!

How beautiful such an average word like "average" could be. Not to get all Sigmund Freud on this but, really good golfers (not all of them) must be pissed that they work so hard to be a scratch golfer and to have that score thrown in with likes of us regular golfers to determine the average. You know there is a permanent hair across their ass when they are behind a foursome of hacks. They sit there and bitch and moan about the group in front. Hey you pompous scratch golfers, maybe if you shot better the average golfers score would be higher... :)

Hit'em long...yell FORE!

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Why I Love Taking 5 Hours to Play Golf

Do you know one of the reasons why I like playing close to Thanksgiving in New England? I usually have the whole course to myself (save for a few wandering souls here and there). I enjoy my round just a little bit more when I don't feel rushed (or, conversely, if I'm waiting 4 foursomes deep on the tee).

Yep, this time of year, I can squeeze-out 18-holes in about 5 hours.

Now I know what some of you are thinking: "Five hours!? Are you crazy!? What are you, a tortoise? With no one in front of me, I could finish a round WAY faster than that!"

Yep, I surmise you could. But if you find yourself alone; on a perfect day; on the golf course; at the end of the season; and you blow through your round in 3 hours...I have news for you: You're an idiot.

What is this fascination we have with haste? Why, when we set out to do something, must we do it in the fastest way humanly possible? How can this possibly make sense for everything we do? I mean, I understand haste when the situation warrants it: "Holy...My sleeve's on fire! Quick, splash me with that bucket of water as fast as humanly possible!" Completely understandable. Or: "Can you lift this boulder off my leg as fast as humanly possible?" Again, nothing strikes me as odd there.

How about this one: "What a beautiful day to be out on the golf course! There's cool breeze, warm sun and it appears we're the only group for several holes! Let's play as fast as humanly possible."

Sounds ridiculous, right? See? That's my thought exactly. Yet, there are many, many golfers who are off to the races the second they step foot on the first tee - like it's a challenge to finish in record time. You know, they have a golf variation for that - it's called Speed Golf, and you can read about it HERE.

Think you're not a speed golfer? Consider this: How do you feel about a 5-hour round? Do you cringe at the thought? Maybe you just think: "Gee, that's an awful long time for a round of golf." In either case, you're doing yourself a disservice. After all, this is a game you love. You've waited all week to play; confirmed (three times) with your significant other that you'll be on the course Saturday; and spent an outrageous sum of money on new golf balls. Face it, you love it. Soooooooo...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU RUSHING FOR?

I blame the courses. Think about why 4 hours is the norm. It's not because old Tom Morris had to rush home and mow the lawn! No, it started because golf course managers figured out they could make more money if they got people to play faster! It's basic economics. There's only so much daylight and the quicker they can shove people through the course, the more greens fees they can collect. So now the problem is everybody thinks golf was meant to be played in 4 hours!

Obviously courses can and do put you on the clock - I understand that - they have to make money to stay in business. But I don't have to accept that as the norm! That's why I thoroughly enjoy when no one is around me - because I can play at a comfortable pace. Have you ever timed what your "comfortable pace" is on the course? Unless you're a speed golfer, I bet it's close to 5 hours.

Look, no one likes to wait on every hole, but there's a difference between waiting and slowing down and enjoying. Next time you've got a few holes open behind you, slow it down and enjoy - you'll find 5 hours isn't so bad after all.

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Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgolfing

I love Thanksgiving. I love spending time with the family. I love stuffing my face so much that I struggle to keep my eyes open at the dinner table. I love no longer struggling to keep my eyes open on the couch after dinner. I love having turkey sandwiches for the next couple of days. It's an all around great time of year. The time of year to give thanks and appreciation to your friends and family.

But today I want to take the time to give more specific thanks. I want to take a moment to give thanks to everyone in my golfing life. I'll start with my wife.

I have many things for which I should give thanks to my wife. First off, thanks for using your work hook-ups to get me my new golf clubs! I'm looking forward to the chance to use them more often than I did this year.

Second, thanks again for using your hook-ups to get me and my buddies on to a few courses for some sweet discounts! There's nothing like playing a nice course for less than half price!

And third, thanks for not busting my stones when I golf rather than clean out the garage, mow the lawn or any other household chore that I should get done.

Thanks to Josh, my oldest, for using his birthday money to purchase his own set of clubs. By doing this, it gave me the chance to take him out for his first round. I hope it's the first of many.

A long overdue thanks to stinky golfers Greg and Dog for introducing me to this game all those years ago. If it wasn't for you guys, I may have never taken up golf and consequently, I would never have known what I was missing!

And last but not least, thanks to everyone who takes the time to read the ramblings we post here. Whether it's serious, comical or just downright nonsense, we thank you for appreciating and/or understanding exactly what we here at golfstinks are trying to do. Without you, there is no us.

This will be my last post before the holiday, so Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and thanks again for your much appreciated support.

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Victory Redefined

Normally, I do not foray into the personal life of pro golfers or non golfers for that matter but thanks to Newsweek they brought it to me. You see Mr. Woods has kindly written a little somethin' somethin' called "How I've Redefined Victory" - Right, and this is because he had a winless 2010 so he had to "redefine" victory?

Below are the first three paragraphs from his editorial. My issue is that he says golf is a self-centered game and that he thought he was invincible but now realizes that you need to depend on others as well...blah blah blah. So, why did he write "How I've Redefined Victory" - To let us know he's a winner?

"Last November, everything I thought I knew about myself changed abruptly, and what others perceived about me shifted, too. I had been conducting my personal life in an artificial way�as if detached from the values my upbringing had taught, and that I should have embraced.

The physical pain from that car accident has long healed. But the pain in my soul is more complex and unsettling; it has been far more difficult to ease�and to understand. But this much is obvious now: my life was out of balance, and my priorities were out of order. I made terrible choices and repeated mistakes. I hurt the people whom I loved the most. And even beyond accepting the consequences and responsibility, there is the ongoing struggle to learn from my failings.

At first, I didn�t want to look inward. Frankly, I was scared of what I would find�what I had become. But I�m grateful that I did examine my life because it has made me more grounded than I�ve ever been; I hope that with reflection will come wisdom. Golf is a self-centered game, in ways good and bad. So much depends on one�s own abilities. But for me, that self-reliance made me think I could tackle the world by myself. It made me think that if I was successful in golf, then I was invincible. Now I know that, no matter how tough or strong we are, we all need to rely on others."

Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking anything away from his accomplishments on the golf course or in the bedroom...Ohhhh! Badum! I just think that this editorial was more an attempt to keep his name in the media in a positive light. It's not like he said anything different than his last swing at damage control. I don't know...I guess if you put your personal stuff out there, people (like me) will take shots at you.

I do want to add that this is all done in humor and there is no ill intention. Tiger Woods does a lot for the community through his Tiger Woods Foundation.

Hit'em long...yell FORE! Don't hate the player, hate the game...

To read Tiger Woods' editorial click here.

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You Never Get Better at Golf; You Only Get "Better"

"Better" is a relative term. On the one hand, getting better implies fixing all your problems (think: I was sick, but now I'm better). Translated for golf, this would mean you once had a double-digit handicap, but you're now a scratch golfer (I don't have to tell you how impossible that is to accomplish).

On the other hand, "better" (note the quotation marks) implies you are now simply more successful at something than you were previously. It is this "better" that we stinky golfers need to strive for.

Last week, I posted about a new book entitled Golf Sense that aims to help golfers get "better" by focusing on the mental part of the game. And, I fully intend to use some of the tactics in Golf Sense to try and get "better." But what will "better" mean for me and my game?

As fellow golfer and Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Mike Royko wrote years ago about our sport:

"...if you picked up an ad that said you could suddenly become a sensational baseball player if you bought a particular baseball glove or bat, you would snort in disbelief. But open any golf publication and you will see page after page of ads that claim this golf stick will give you incredible distance, that golf ball will defy gravity and this golf book will give you the 10 secrets of the ancient Scots to the perfect golf swing. It's all nonsense...but [golfers] rush to buy the ball with the most dimples, the driver with the meteorite head, the putter with the heel-toe-eye-ear-nose weighting. Then, after they swing and the ball plops into a bush behind them, they wonder, 'Can the problem be me?'"

The short answer is; Yes, the problem is you. And there's probably not much you can do about it. But every year, stinky golfers fork over tons of their hard-earned cash on the latest gadgets and clubs hoping it will land us on the pro tour (or at least as the local club champion). But are we just setting ourselves up to fail?

You see, I think the real quick fix is to accept the fact that you stink. Once this hurdle has been cleared, things will get much easier. You will be able to go out and enjoy a round without fussing over your triple-digit score. No more fretting over hitting a ball into the lumber yard; No more club-tossing into the pond on 13; No more, well...anger. If you flub one 3 feet off the first tee, there's no need to be embarrassed...you stink; that's what you're supposed to do!

Ah, but that's easier said than done. The truth is, I try to not care. Really, I do. If I knock one down off the tee, I'll laugh it off. But deep down, I know I'm "better" than that - so it kinda bothers me. It also bothers me when I have a bad round (we wouldn't call it a "bad round" if we didn't care).

But every golfer should have his or her own definition of what "better" means. For some, breaking 100 is "better." If you fall into that category, you should be ecstatic the day you shoot a 99. Do you still stink? Absolutely. But are you "better?" Most definitely! Are you beating yourself up over not shooting a 72? Hell no! You're framing that 99 and mounting it over the mantle. Yep, "better" is a relative term and stinky golfers need to appreciate baby steps.

For me, I'd consider "better" being in a good frame of mind while playing. If I can just go out there and relax - not worry about my score and keep myself loose, I think I'd be happier. And I'm hoping that calm state of mind will shave a few strokes off my game in the process. If that happens, will I be a pro? Hardly. But I'll be "better" at something I love to do, which is just dandy with me.

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Do You Take Advantage Of The "Fall Golf Special?"

It's a sad time of year when the golf season winds down. The clubs get put away, courses begin to close up shop and the weather just doesn't seem to cooperate anymore. You know you're at that point when it seems there's nothing else to look forward to for the rest of the year. Maybe, just maybe, you might get one more nice weekend...but it's not all that likely.

But let's say that one nice weekend does come along in mid- to late November. Where are you going to play? Do you take your chances with one of the few remaining open courses? How about those courses running their "Fall Specials?" You know, a course that normally runs about $45 to walk 18 is now charging $30 with a cart. It sound like a great deal...but is it really?

Knowing that the season is winding down, and all of these courses are now in the process of their seasonal layoffs, it goes without saying that the maintenance and upkeep of the course is now on the back-burner. Yeah, they lowered the price, but they've also lowered the quality of the course. It's pretty simple really. The fewer people working at the course, the less work is getting done.

You certainly can't blame the course. Obviously, at this time of year fewer golfers are hitting the links. So it only makes good business sense to cut costs. But in an attempt to still make some late season money, they run some specials. Sounds like a plan. So why not take advantage? Well, because of what I said earlier...the course is no longer being fully maintained. So the question is, do you take advantage of the lower costs even though the conditions are deteriorating?

Many won't take advantage...but I'm not one of them. Discount golf you say? I'll take it! I've said it before, I don't care where I'm golfing...as long as I'm golfing. Now there are exceptions. There are some courses that I won't play for free. But for the most part, you can count me in. For instance, I have a course roughly 15 minutes from my house that's running one of these specials. It's a nice course. Not a great course, but it's no mortar range either. Normally, the greens fees run $42 for 18 holes (tack on $16 more to ride). But during the fall special? $35 with a cart! Well worth it for a course of its caliber!

So I ask...do you take advantage of these specials? Are you the type who will play anywhere if the price is right? Or do you feel the price is not worth it if the upkeep is lacking? I know how I feel. I'm gonna play anyway. So if I can play cheaper? It's a no-brainer.

Swing 'til you're happy...especially when it costs less to do so!

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Televised Golf Ruined My Game

Every time I watch golf on TV I "think" I gain some insight on how to better my game...(insert 'wrong answer' buzzer here). Damn you professional-touring-golfer-who-makes-it-look-so-easy. Why do you make me believe I can make these shots and instead I end up messing them up? You can't tell me you've never watched a pro on TV hit a shot and then tell yourself "Ah ha! That's how you do it."

Now, add in the commentator (another enabler) and you're convincing yourself you can hit 'em like they do and in no time be on the tour. For example, David Deherty was talking about Tiger's shot and what he was going to do. Deherty, with all his wit, proceeds to tell the viewers how Tiger is going to "come across his body and really rotate his wrists"...WTF does that really mean to me? Regardless, I watch Tiger hit the shot flawlessly with some right to left movement on the ball and land it on the green.

Apparently, I must have consumed a retard sandwich prior to watching because I thought to myself...again..."Ah ha! That's how you do it." That's definitely how you do it alright, if you want to make yourself look like an ass and take yourself out of your game. Not for nothing but, how do these commentators know what shot these guys are going hit before they hit it?

Here's my last gripe with televised golf. I just got a new HDTV and the picture on it is pretty friggin' good. I start to notice things like how much greener the fairways are than my local track. How much more level the tee boxes are and how smooth the greens are and so on. So, I've figured out a couple solutions to this tv hindering my golf experience thing. 1) practice, practice, practice and try to qualify or 2) change the channel...

Hit'em long...yell FORE!!

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I Get My Golf Advice From a Guy Who Doesn't Golf

My friends, I'm about to take a leap of faith. I've decided to change the way I approach my swing, my putting, in fact my entire game. And I'm entrusting this momentous metamorphosis to a man who doesn't even play golf.

Yep, I'm an idiot.

I've just finished reading a book called "Golf Sense - Practical Tips On How To Play Golf In The Zone" (Front Runner Publications, 2010). It's a book that follows nicely on the heels of another golf book I read recently; "Straight Down the Middle" (see my review HERE).

Both these books are, as it happens, similar in that they don't really give swing advice, rather, they attempt to put you in a golfing state of mind. Where Straight Down The Middle helped me find "inner peace" on the course, Golf Sense provides you with practical exercises to help you keep that inner peace going throughout your round.

The irony of it all is the author of Golf Sense, Roy Palmer, states right in the introduction that he doesn't even play golf! I almost closed the book right then and there. But, Mr. Palmer was nice enough to ship me the book gratis from across the pond in England - I figured the least I could do was read it (all the misspellings idiosyncrasies of the Queen's English included).

I was originally inspired by this golfing inner peace (or getting in the zone) from the movie The Legend of Bagger Vance - the scene on the tee when Bagger is explaining to Junuh why Bobby Jones is so good ("he's in the field"). To me, there's just something about letting go of all the BS in your head, getting out of your own way (mentally) and just letting your natural swing emerge - it just sounds like the way a golf swing is meant to be executed.

So as I digested Mr. Palmer's book, I felt his writings and exercises (many of which can be done without a club and while you're actually reading the book) would really help me find that happy place to exist in during a round. For example, he points to tension in the swing as a major cause of poor play - tension that you may not even know you have since habitually, you've swung the same way for so many years.

But realizing the cause of your poor golf shots is only the beginning. Golf Sense is packed with simple ways to put you in (and keep you in) a calm and relaxed state of mind on the course (which will translate into a more relaxed swing, and subsequently lower scores). I have to say, I'm anxious to give it a try.

So my plan is to put Mr. Palmer's book to the test. Beginning in the new year, I am going to practice a few of the exercises at home. Then, once the weather gets warmer, I will move to the range and finally to the course. I'll post sometime next season about how I'm progressing.

If you'd care to join me, feel free to get your own copy of Golf Sense HERE and email me (greg@golfstinks.com) with your own experiences using this method. Stay tuned...

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Play Golf, Save Money!

Golf is expensive. I could say nothing more and there would be no argument. The cost of the sport is what keeps many from getting into golf to begin with. For starters, you need the equipment to play. Clubs, a bag, shoes, balls, tees, etc...not too mention the certain type of clothing you may be required to purchase if you don't already have it. And that's before you even get out there! You didn't even pay your greens fees yet! Hell, I've been playing golf for years and the cost is what keeps me from playing more than anything else.

For years, many of us have waited for "twilight" times to get a break on greens fees. Some of us have a buddy working at a course who will get us a discount when the boss is gone. I know I've skipped out on a day of work a few times to play a course for a lower rate. But what if there was a better way to cut into the cost? Maybe you can make this game a little easier on your wallet. Well, for a mere $67 you can discount your rounds of golf for an entire year! How is that you say? Well, with the Player's Pass of course!

The Players Pass allows members to play courses for a fraction of their regular prices. And for only $67, the membership practically pays for itself after only two or three rounds at any of the participating courses. I know what you're thinking..."Sure, but you have to play on a Tuesday afternoon, tee off at 3:30 and it's only valid from December through February." Well, you'd be wrong. The beauty of the Player's Pass is that it's valid for an entire year. And at the 2,000+ participating courses throughout the country, weekends are included! With that many courses included in the Players Pass network, you're bound to find a participating course near you.

So what are these discounts you ask? Well, how about a 2-for-1 greens fee? How about discounts between $20-$50? How about discounts of up to 70%?!

Maybe you ask "Yeah, but what are the courses? Are they the crappy tracks that no one wants to play anyway?" I can only base my findings on my own experiences here in Connecticut but, of the eleven courses listed, the grouping is pretty impressive. I'll admit, I was a bit surprised to find a discount at Fox Hopyard Golf Club included in the group. "The Fox" is a superb all around course and is easily one of the top three in the state! Several other courses included are also among the better tracks CT has to offer. So I would suggest logging onto the site and taking a look at your states listing. You just might be pleasantly surprised.

So this sounds like a pretty good package, right? Sure it does. But you know what could make it better? If it was free! Our friends over at Players Pass have agreed to give away one free membership to a golfstinks reader. And as usual, it's quite simple to enter your name for a chance to win. Simply head over to the golfstinks facebook page and hit "like." What could be easier than that?! We'll choose one random winner and you could be on your way to playing cheaper golf without rushing to beat the sunset!

Go to the golfstinks facebook page, click like, win a Players Pass and swing 'til you're happy!

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Only You John Daly...Only You

I have to give Mr. Daly credit. He might not be the best role model for the young golfers out there but, I admire his honesty. A couple weeks back he was signing a copy of his book "My Life In And Out Of The Rough" (hmmmmm...you could also replace the word "Rough" with other stuff like "Bottle" or "Most Ridiculous Pants"). Anyway, he supposedly told a Charlotte, NC newspaper that he was happier as a miserable drunk and that he played better drunk.

Come on John, don't sugar coat it! Tell us how you really feel. He also went on to mention that he hasn't had a drink in two years and that the more he works on his game sober, the worse he gets. And he hasn't been in the top 10 in the last 4 years, to boot. Well, I guess that puts the kibosh on a possible career in motivational or public speaking when he retires from golf. Could you imagine if he was to speak at an AA meeting?

This brings me to my next issue. What's up with the threads? I'm going to chalk his wardrobe up to the booze. Oh no? You tell me...

Could these pants be symbolic? Is he going "Tiger" hunting in his red and black? Nah, you can blame Jack Daniels.


Ok...Ringling Bros. might be hiring if this golf thing doesn't pan out.


Aloha...


John Daly, you ol' motor boatin' son of a b, I didn't know you were such a fan of John Holmes?


John, please tell me this is for breast cancer awareness.

You know what John, we might bust them on you a little now and again, but in my book, you're an honest, stand-up (maybe wobbly at times but standing up nonetheless) guy. Thanks for keeping us smiling...

Hit'em long, yell FORE!

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Oh, it's Your Birthday? Here's a Free Round of Golf.

My birthday was yesterday. I like Halloween, so I can appreciate my birthday being two days later. But in reality, my birthday is mostly associated with election day.

More presidents, senators and governors have been voted into office on the day of my birth than I care to remember. And I hate to say it, but it's always a bit annoying to drag myself down to the polls and stand in line to vote on my birthday - but hey, that's what being an American is all about.

I'll tell you what wouldn't be annoying to do on my birthday though - play golf! I know, it's already 38 degrees in the morning here in the Constitution State and it's topping off at around 53 in the afternoon, but I would still enjoy to get out there and play - especially for free.

Well, free golf on your birthday isn't out of the question, no sir. I was perusing through our Twitter followers the other day (twitter.com/golfstinks) and came across a Twitter handle entitled twitter.com/FreeRoundofGolf. A few clicks later and I was on freebirthdaygolf.com - a site run by (it appears) a guy named Mark Hainsworth.

Mr. Hainsworth has compiled a list of 320 golf courses that will give you a free round of golf on your birthday. Sound too good to be true? I thought so too...There had to be a catch. But so far, I haven't found one.

I signed up on freebirthdaygolf.com (requires only a first name and email address) and waited for my confirmation email, which I received promptly. I then was able to download a PDF document listing the 320 courses (complete with working links to the birthday specials).

The courses are listed alphabetically by state (most courses are in the US, with a few in Canada) and I scrolled down to Connecticut. Turns out my state has only one course listed: Eastwood Country Club, a 9-hole, regulation sized golf course in Torrington, CT. I clicked on the link and sure enough, I was taken to a page on Eastwood's website that explains you get a free round of golf to be used within one week on either side of your birthday.

So, what did I have to do to take advantage of Eastwood's generosity? You can see for yourself HERE. But basically, I filled out a form (this time I had to provide my address and phone #, but still no credit card) and immediately was taken to a page where I could print my free birthday golf voucher (see photo)! What's more, since my birthday falls between October and March, I am able to redeem my free round through April 30 2011!

OK, I know out of all the courses in CT, only one is on this list - and it's only a 9-holer. But I don't think I care - free golf is free golf! My second home state (where my wife is from) is New Mexico, where there are three courses listed and two of which I know are awesome 18-hole tracks. Go ahead and check if there are courses in your area. Or, if you know of a course not on the list, I'm sure Mr. Hainsworth would like to know.

Perhaps if there's enough interest, more courses will start offering little incentives like free golf on your birthday - which should hopefully entice more people to play golf in the first place. So hats off to Mr. Hainsworth for compiling this list - I plan on using my free golf voucher next spring.

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