A Memorable Round...

I could never forget this one round of golf I played with a friend and his dad who served in Vietnam. Memorial Day is just around the corner and every year around this time I always reflect back on the stories he shared. For most veterans that served and saw action in any war, I'm pretty sure revisiting the past and relaying what they saw is or was rather difficult.

We arrived at the course, paid our fees and headed out to the first tee. As we were making our way, I noticed my friend's dad staring at the starter's tattoo on his arm. Turns out the starter, who was about fifteen years older than my buddie's father, served in the same branch as he did. They were both 101st Airborne Army Rangers and had similar tat's.

I knew my friend's father was a Ranger and served in Vietnam but, now seemed like a good time to slide in a few curious questions about the war. Seeing that it was a fresh topic and all. Let me tell you, I'm glad I did and at the same time wished I never did. We made our way around the front nine and he told us about the basic stuff of Vietnam like where he was stationed and the pranks they pulled on each other but always seemed to avoid the gritty and gorey parts we saw on TV.

I then ask the question that will resonate in my head forever..."How close were the movies to the real thing?". In my defense, I was about 23 or 24 years old and not quite as bright as I should have been. So, I find out he was one of the only survivors of his platoon and to this day still has some pretty big battle scars and shrapnel scars on his body.

I will not go into detail about what exactly was told to me out of respect for my friend's father but, I will say one thing. Towards the end of our discussion he told us, "When you are in a tough situation and you feel like quitting or complaining, just think how worse things could be, you could be ducking bullets or fighting to live. Think of me, get your shit together and push through..."

My final score of 105 didn't matter, the fact that I lost 8 balls didn't matter, even the club that I broke didn't bother me anymore. This was something bigger. To my friend's dad and to all that have served, thank you!

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My Golf Soundtrack

I'm standing a few yards behind my teed-up golf ball on the first hole, trying to mimic that scene in The Legend of Bagger Vance - you know, the one where Bobby Jones is glaring down the fairway with deadly intensity? He clears his mind of everything except the task at hand; he visualizes the perfect golf shot. The film's soundtrack picks-up (for added effect, hit play below): A wind begins to wisp as soft piano keys entrance you with a gentle arpeggiation...he's in the field.



Setting up in that way never works for me...it's that damn music; I can't get it out of my head. Written by talented British composer Rachel Portman, the score immerses me into dreamy thought. The music is intensified as Junuh sets himself to hit. The melody is more than engaging; you may be sitting in your living room but somehow, you're transposed onto the golf course. You can smell the freshly cut grass; hear birds chirping as they take flight. It's as if you're part of every ripple and undulation in the fairway; you feel the club become an extension of your arms; your eyes guide the ball to its soft landing in the middle of the fairway. Junuh takes his shot; the music stops; and you're back in front of the television (Go ahead, take a moment and finish the clip).

Part of my problem on the golf course is I give myself a soundtrack to play along with - in my mind I mean. I guess you can say music inspires me; it probably does for many of us. But I actually think of a song to inspire some of my golf shots. This can be a distraction - especially when the song is "I'm on a Boat" by The Lonely Island (featuring T-Pain). I'm not sure why that song inspires me, it's a spoof rap track that's meant to be silly, but there I am teeing-it-up on hole #15 to the lyrics: "I got my swim trunks and my flippy-floppies..." Plunk - I'll need to get on a boat just to fish-out my tee-shot.

Without fail, someone in my foursome will drop a line from Caddyshack at the turn. So? So let's dance! Ever try teeing-off to "Any Way You Want It" by Journey? Yeah, that's got slice written all over it (and I NEVER slice)!



After a few holes, I finally shake the falsetto wailings of Steve Perry and settle-in on something more appropriate. Perhaps if it's the last hole and I'm putting my final stroke of the day, I'll think of the closing scene of The Greatest Game Ever Played:



But I usually can't stomach more than 20 seconds of that. Inevitably, my putt will fall just short of the hole, leaving me with a "Cuban" - oh how I wish the course had a gopher problem...

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Lost On The Links

I'll be honest, I had every intention of mailing this one in. What I mean is, I (along with a good portion of the rest of the country) was watching the Lost finale last night. I wasn't thinking about golf, and I certainly wasn't thinking about blogging about it. I was much more interested in Jack vs. Locke and what goofy comment Hurley was going to make next. But it ended up being Hurley who motivated me to make an effort here.

In watching the two hours of hype leading up to the actual episode, we were taken back to season 1. During that season, Hurley realizes they may be on the island for a while. So in a time when everyone else on the island is understandably freaking out, scared to death and confused..... Hurley is constructing a golf course. I didn't realize until now the beauty of it. A simple thought popped into my mind - Life sucks...let's play golf!

It's like life for most of us. Well, life doesn't necessarily suck. It just sucks sometimes. But when life sucks, we play golf. And that's exactly what Hurley had in mind. They were playing golf simply for the fun of it. For the relatively short time they were on the course, golf was taking their minds off of the horrible situation they were in. They weren't taking the game serious, and likely weren't even keeping score. It made me realize, this is exactly how a round of golf should be.

OK, I can't speak for everyone, but I'm certainly not stranded on an island due to a plane crash. But that's not the point. The point is, my bills could be piling up, the kids may be pissing me off, the job might be incredibly stressful...but when I'm out on the course, none of that matters. Golf should be so simple for all of us. It shouldn't be taken so seriously. It should be just a simple distraction for us. Something we do to keep our minds off of the things that will be there later.

So my swing isn't perfect. I don't putt all that well. My short game sucks. So what? What does any of that matter so long as I enjoy what I'm doing, right? If I was to get myself too wrapped up in trying so hard to do it all perfectly, it would no longer be fun. Rather, it would be more like a job. I don't want my distractions from everyday life to become jobs. I don't want to feel like I know I could do better and just wind up frustrated when I don't. Where is the fun in that?

So, thank you Hurley. Thank you for reminding me this sport is just my distraction from the everyday world. Thank you for reminding me to not take it seriously. Thank you for reminding me that I should play this game for no reason other than the fun of it. It took a fictional character to remind me of these realities.

And to think....I was considering taking a lesson! Thank you again Hurley for saving me the time and money.

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A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Course...

So, here we are on our way to hack through 18 holes when Brian* realizes he needs a new glove and a few extra golf balls. We make a quick detour and head to the local golf shop. As we pull in and look around the parking lot it seemed everybody else also needed to stop in. The place was jam packed. We all agreed that we're here already, let's just get in and out asap.

Let me set this story up for you. We're all dressed in proper golf attire (even though we suck we could still look the part) and as Brian is doing his thing, I wander over to the practice mats where you can demo clubs. And then it happens...a shopper in the store asks me for help thinking I work there. I couldn't resist and neither could Dave* (the other golfer riding with us).

I survey the store and see that there are only 2 or 3 actual store employees already swamped with customers, so I reply "Sure! How can I help?". The man tells me he is having problems with his swing and needs some advice. Holy S#@%! This guy is asking me for swing tips(...me...the sultan of slice) and without missing a beat I instruct my new student to get up on the mat. Dave is looking on in disbelief that I'm about to give a swing lesson.

We make our introductions and begin.

Me: "Ok Mike*, before we begin do you have any medical conditions that could affect your swing?"

Mike: "Uhhh...no"

Me: "Good, have you ever been in a Mexican jail?"

Mike: "What?!?!"

Me: "Protocol."

Mike: "No!"

Me: "Excellent! Now, I want you to go ahead and take a few swings."

Mike makes a few swings and steps off the mat.

Me: "It seems you have a tendency to pick your head up."

Mike: "Pick my head up? My last instructor told me that was a myth."

Dave: " Hey listen, if you don't want our help that's fine."

Mike: " I'm sorry guys, I didn't mean it like that..."

Dave: "No problem, it's forgotten. Back to business!"

From a pile of random warehouse stuff located in the back corner, Dave pulls out a bungee cord.

Dave: "Here it is! Mike, take one end of the bungee cord and hook it to your belt buckle. Bend over a bit and loop the cord around the back of your head and hook the other end back to your belt buckle. This should keep your head down"

The guy actually did it! I couldn't look at him without laughing so I had to walk away. At this point Brian is just about done checking out and I meet up with him. Dave joins us a couple minutes later and tells us he told Mike the truth - that we weren't instructors or employees. Apparently, Mike was a good sport about it and said he was going try it on his buddies.

Ahhh, stinking at golf rocks!

*names were changed to protect identity

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Me, Swing Advice and a Nervous Breakdown

You can have a nervous breakdown reading all the advice on how to play better golf. "The Easy Way to Perfect Impact!" "Stop Slicing Now!!" "Never Miss a Shot!!!" These are actual headlines taken from the last three editions of Golf Magazine (April, May and June, 2010).

In April, I'm thoroughly confused: There's photos of the pro at impact, with numbers at his shoulder, chest, grip and clubface - all corresponding to some horse race analogy where his shoulder is relabeled as "Pony #1." The objective is to have Pony #1 beat Pony numbers 2-4 (2=chest; 3=grip; 4=clubface) to the ball. This little imaginary trip to the Derby is expected to cure "The Problem" - which is explained as follows: "Your iron shots are weak. They don't fly very far, and they spin in different directions from one swing to the next." OK, if I'm spraying my iron shots all over the course at 10-yard intervals, I'm pretty sure worrying about where my shoulder is will be the least of my problems...

In May, I'm completely dumbfounded: So this one is a quick fix for a slice. It's elaborately explained that I should take my normal grip, then lift my hands to my waist, loosen my grip and rotate the club counterclockwise and finally readdress the ball with a closed face. One whole page with 5 images, complete with close-ups of the pro's grip showing arrows indicating a counterclockwise motion - all this and the end result is: Close your face. Thanks! Why not just tell me to aim left instead? I mean, it should have the same effect, no? Seriously, do they really think the people who read Golf Magazine are so new to the game that they wouldn't understand "close your face?" I guess they felt it necessary to diagram blueprints on the entire process.

In June, I'm checking myself into Trembling Hills: Never Miss a [Freaking] Golf Shot! EVER! This one is a 5-page, pull-out section consisting of 4 steps complete with 10 photos, 2 charts, 1 graph, 9 call-out boxes and a graphic instructing you to go online for videos of the entire section. Just to demonstrate how visually overwhelming this pull-out section is, I've taken a photo (see below). I should note I needed to set my camera to "panoramic" mode and take three shots in order to get the entire section (and I still left off the first page). How can I possibly ingest such an extravaganza of instruction, let alone implement said instruction the next time I'm on the links? I think the short answer is (and let's see a show of hands of those that agree with me)...you can't.


Some may not want to hear this (including some of my fellow golf bloggers), but the reality is reading how to improve my golf swing is no help to me at all. I mean, you have to hand it to these magazines - they're trying. But it's not easy to transfer what's on the page to what's reality on the course - especially these glossy articles that combine statistical info with graphics and photos. I look at these pages with a feeling of insurmountable odds...an overwhelming challenge that sucks all the fun out of the game. Sure, some may argue that golf isn't any fun when you stink. But if you want to get better, I still think the best advice is go spend money on a lesson or two from your local pro. Or, you can thoroughly enjoy the fact that you stink, like me.

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Want Every Golf Match to Matter? Play Fantasy Golf!

I'm sitting up late at night watching the Phillies vs. Brewers game. I'm a Mets fan so, outside of pulling for the Brewers, I don't have any real interest in this matchup. Well...that's not 100% true. I sure could use a couple of hits out of Raul Ibanez. Why? My fantasy league of course!

Roughly fifteen years ago I was first introduced to fantasy sports. A friend and I jumped into a fantasy football league, sharing a team since neither of us new exactly what we were doing. Despite starting off hot with a record of 8-3, we made a bonehead trade and lost the rest of our games (not too mention our money) and missed the playoffs. You'd think it would have left a bad taste in my mouth, but instead, I was hooked. Be it fantasy football, baseball or basketball, I haven't missed a season since. But now, a new fantasy sport has caught my interest - fantasy golf.

The thing about fantasy golf is, it's very simple. Anyone who participates in fantasy sports knows that scoring is based on stats (and there are plenty of stats). You draft your players and the better the stats they produce, the better your team does. There are so many stats in fact, scoring can be downright confusing. But not in fantasy golf. There are pretty much two ways to score points in fantasy golf:

1. Points are based on your golfers score per hole (ex. 100 points for an eagle, 50 points for a birdie, 20 points for par, -20 points for a bogey, etc....).

2. Points are based on where your golfers finish in the final tournament standings.

Also, you even have the choice to redraft your team every weekend if you'd like, depending upon which golfers are playing in each tournament.

Seems pretty simple, right? But the fun of it, as well as the chance to win a few bucks, are not the only draws to fantasy golf...or any fantasy sport for that matter. It's the draw to a game or tournament that, normally, may not interest you at all. Hence, the game I mentioned earlier.

Years ago, fantasy sports were mostly shunned or frowned upon by the professional leagues which they emulated. Participation in a fantasy league was looked upon as simply gambling. But that is no longer the case. Major sports leagues such as the NFL and MLB now embrace fantasy sports, and it's the right thing to do. Fantasy sports have increased the overall interest in the game, even if it is mainly based on statistics and not necessarily the game itself. But, these leagues realize there are people like me, who will tune into a game they could care less about, in order to watch the one player my fantasy game hinges on. Does Bud Selig care why I'm watching the game? I doubt it, as long as I'm watching.

Fantasy golf is not nearly as popular as fantasy football, baseball or basketball...but the PGA may want to look into changing that. Once again, if you want me to watch your tournament, then give me as many reasons as possible to do so. The performance of players who aren't necessarily stars, or worthy of much coverage, may not matter as much to the PGA Tour, but they may mean something to more people if they have a reason to cheer for them. Maybe I have a guy in my foursome this weekend named Jeff Overton. He's only 35th on the money list and not exactly a popular name, but I want to see if he can sink that birdie putt to get me another 50 points for my team! That, my friends at PGA Tour headquarters, is interest in your sport that you normally would not have.

I've mentioned before that the PGA doesn't do enough to promote it's players, but fantasy sports are a great vehicle for promotion! The PGA would be wise to loosen up and jump on the fantasy sports bandwagon to welcome a new breed of fan. Again, give me a reason to watch the tournament. Give me a reason to cheer for a particular golfer. Give me something other than another Tiger Woods press conference!

Fantasy sports have made me a good amount of money, as well as lost me a good amount of money (no question lost more than I've won). But more so, they have gotten me interested in games that I normally wouldn't be interested in. Honestly, how great would that be for the PGA?

Oh, and just an update, Ibanez went 1-4 with a walk...not good enough for me to pull it out. Looks like I'm going to drop another close one. I swear that guy knows I'm a Mets fan.

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Children's Miracle Network...A Hole In One!

Every so often an opportunity to help make a difference in a child's life arises. In this case it involved two of my favorite things; golf and eating! A few days ago, Costco Wholesale hosted their annual golf tournament benefitting the Children's Miracle Network. In case you are not familiar with CMN, here's a brief history:

Children�s Miracle Network was founded with two simple goals in mind:

1. Help as many children as possible by raising funds for children�s hospitals.

2. Keep funds in the community in which they were raised to help local children.

The organization was founded by Marie Osmond and her family, John Schneider, Mick Shannon and Joe Lake. Children�s Miracle Network�s most recognizable symbol and greatest fundraising tool is its red and yellow Miracle Balloon icon. As of 2008, Children�s Miracle Network has raised more than $3.4 billion�most of which is donated a dollar or two at a time.

Although the weather was 50 degrees and windy with some rain showers, it definitely did not break any of our spirits...maybe the alcohol helped a little. As a matter of fact, every foursome but one showed up to participate...now that means a lot! It gave me a great feeling inside to see this dedication and everyone coming together to help out.

As for the course, Whitney Farms in Monroe, CT and with those weather conditions, we could have played at Pebble Beach and it wouldn't have mattered. I'll tell you one thing though, Whitney Farms drains incredibly well. Never was there a swampy part of the fairway or even the rough right off the fairway. Even the greens had a good speed to them.

All in all, this wasn't about where we played or who played with us. This was about what we played for! Yeah the weather sucked and the hot dog on the turn could have been better but; how can you honestly complain when you are out there playing?

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It's Raining Cats, Dogs and Golf Balls...

The good thing about springtime is golf season starts again. The bad thing is it tends to rain...a lot. It seems almost cruel that you've been waiting all winter for the snow to melt, the ground to thaw and the temps to warm just enough to begin the season and then BAM - a perfectly good golfing day is ruined by April (and many times May) showers.

But as I was looking at my golf bag the other day, I noticed the rather large (60" spread) umbrella attached to it. It's not as if I've never noticed it before, I mean, I've been playing this game for over 20 years and my golf bag has ALWAYS featured a golf umbrella (actually, they keep getting larger and I'm already eyeing a 68" one for my next bag).

The ironic thing is, I rarely use my golf umbrella on the course. Unless I get caught in the rain (which hardly ever happens), the umbrella stays sheathed and fastened along the side of the bag. In fact, all my old golf umbrella's end up being used far more frequently off the course - usually when I walk the dog in the rain.

Interestingly, despite the infrequent use, golf umbrella's are massive compared to other models - it's as if we golfers melt when wet (as long as one guy is carrying a big golf umbrella that can protect several people, the foursome can be saved)! Think about it though, some golfers try to avoid rain like it's the plague. For example, if there's even a hint of mist falling before a round, my phone will light-up with the inevitable text from Stinky Golfer Chris: "Rain. I'm out."

Shoot man, I wouldn't mind still trying to get the round in! I mean, I've got the big umbrella. Ah, but have you ever tried to carry a golf umbrella for 18-holes? Believe me, it gets annoying. But I'm willing to muddle through if it means playing the game I love. Of course, if it's pouring, the course becomes a swamp - and that's no fun either.

And then there's the thunder storms. OK, these are more of a summer phenomenon than spring, but this is one time I don't want to be on the course (my dad actually knew someone struck and killed by lightning while on the course). But if it's not an electrical storm and as long as it's not coming down in buckets, I'm game - let's put that behemoth umbrella to use!

So here's the poll - tell us if you play in the rain. Oh and BTW, that's me (teeing-off) along with the elusive Stinky Golf Chris, photographed on an extremely rare occasion (see photo at top).

Do you Golf in the Rain?

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My Job Is Interfering With My Golf

It's that time of year again. We're in early May. The weather is getting consistently nicer. The temperature is rising. Leaves are on the trees and the grass is green. It's the beginning of golf season and I'm looking forward to spending more time out on the golf course. But there's one thing that's getting in my way....my job.

As some of you may already know, I've been out of work for a pretty long time now. But, those days are long gone. By the time you read this, I'll be in the midst of my first day at the new job.

Don't get me wrong, I'm excited to get back into the swing of things. I'm looking forward to a fresh start. But the problem is....the timing. I'm starting this job right at the beginning of golf season! The timing couldn't be worse!

The hours are normal and it's a Monday-Friday gig so my weekends are still free. But imagine going into golf season with all of your days open. And you're not even retired!! I've been looking forward to this all winter. Then the time finally comes and...BAM! I get a job. My dream golf season is over before it even got started. Imagine, I went from having all of my days free during the winter when I couldn't do a thing, to feeling I'm going to have the same free time in the summer. Then, it's all just stripped away from me in the blink of an eye.

Well, I guess the job is more important...for now. But it sure would have been nice. For one winter, I was able to almost understand what it feels like to be retired and a golfer. It was so close that I could just about taste it. It was right there!

I guess if there's a silver lining to this cloud, it's the experience I had. The feeling I was given. The hope I felt. I now have something to look forward to in my golfing future. I will work that much harder toward retirement. I need to know if it's going to be as good as I had hoped it would. I'll get there. It's just a matter of time.

But right now, it's time for bed. You know, with tomorrow being the first day of work and all.

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Requirements For Being A Stinky Golfer

We here at Golfstinks.com love the game, so don't let the name fool you. At some point, I'm pretty sure every golfer out there has voiced their opinion that "golf stinks" - whether it be half-heartedly or, for the moment, on the whole. You see, this is the common factor that links 99% of the golfers out there; we're all alike in our not-so-great play. Do we quit and hang up the sticks? Hell no! We go out and buy more expensive ones.

So, about this stinking at golf thing. Take a look at these next ten questions:

1. Do you play or have you ever played some form of golf? (Driving ranges count, mini or putt-putt golf does not, and don't tell me you are working on your putting. When the hell did a green ever have a clown's mouth or windmill)?

2. Are you good?

3. Do you stink?

4. Do you own golf clubs or at least one golf club (not used for protection)?

5. Do you enjoy the game for the most part?

6. Do you create curse words on the course that makes holy water boil?

7. Do you use a golf ball to play (any kind, range balls included)?

8. Can you use a term from golfstinks.com's Average Joe Golf Glossary to describe any part of your last round?

9. Can you recall that last great shot or memory you had on the course that'll keep you coming back?

10. Are you going to golf again?

I'll tell you what, if you answer yes to any of these requirements, you my friend, are part of a community - our community - of over 25 million members strong. Now get out there and play...(and of course, yell fore)!

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A Thank You to The One-Eyed Golfer

"It is almost impossible to remember how tragic a place this world is when one is playing golf" - Robert Lynd

Normally when someone you never had the chance to meet, never had the chance to speak with and never had the chance to get to know, passes away, it doesn't much matter to you. You kind of just go on with your day. Vince Spence, apparently, was the exception to the norm.

We here at golfstinks never had the chance to get to know Vince the way many of our fellow bloggers did. But nevertheless, we'll miss him just the same. Vince, even though he likely never knew it, held a special place in the hearts of the guys here at golfstinks. Last summer, when we first started up From The Rough, Vince was the first person ever to comment on one of our blogs.

At the time, we didn't know who Vince Spence or One Eyed Golfer was. We were just happy to get a comment! Happy that someone was paying attention to what we were trying to do. But as time went on and we continued to learn the lay of the land and continued to post, we came to understand what Vince meant to the golf blogosphere. From then, it was always a bit of a big deal when we knew Vince was paying attention to us. It was also cause for concern if we went a while without seeing a comment from him! We'd wonder if we did something wrong! "Did we make a mistake?" "Did we make him mad somehow?" His presence alone seemed to make what all of us are trying to do a bit more legit.

Our sincerest condolences go out to the family and friends of Vince Spence. Unfortunately, we all know what it feels like to lose a friend or family member, especially when it happens sooner than it should. But that never makes things any better. Hopefully all of the kind words from everyone here in the golf blog world will help to make things a little bit easier.

Thank you Vince. We'll miss you.

Sincerely,

The golfstinks team

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Remember When You Were A Golf Newbie?

There comes a point in your golfing life when you forget what it's like to be a "newbie" at this game. Last week I received a text from a buddy whom I've never known to play golf. He had just come from the driving range and was asking me a few questions (I should have known right then and there he wasn't sure what he was doing).

Anyway, he's texting me about this terrible slice he has and proceeds to explain he hit 3 large buckets of balls but was unable to correct the problem. Suddenly I could care less about his slice. This guy - who hasn't swung a club in who knows how long - just hit three large buckets of balls! If I hit three large buckets of range balls in one sitting, my spine would fall out.

Look, there's only two types of people who hit that many practice balls at once: Tour Pros and Newbies. I rarely hit range balls before a round, but even if I do, it's usually one small bucket. When I go to the range, maybe I hit one large bucket (and usually don't finish it). But three? Newbie.

My buddy's text conversation, coupled with Stinky Golfer Chris' post the other day about taking his son out on the course for the first time, got me thinking about other new golfer traits. One is not using a tee on a par three. Remember doing this? The logic here is since you don't tee-it-up when you use an iron in the fairway, why can't you hit-it-off the deck on a par three? This is totally a newbie trait. Once you do that a few times, you'll inevitably get paired with someone who will tell you there's always an advantage to using a tee - so you should use one whenever you can. Even after I learned this information, it was still hard for me to start using a tee on a par 3 - it was like I felt special since I was doing something no one else did...of course, no one else did it because it's a dumb idea.

Remember when you didn't know what a slope rating was (if you still don't know, click HERE)? How about a course rating? You'd see these strange numbers on the scorecard and think: A 69.7, what the hell does that mean? Is that what I'm supposed to shoot here? I'm a newbie, how can I shoot...Oh wait, there's also a 129 listed - yeah, that's more like it."

How about this one; I've actually seen newbies tee-up their ball outside of the tee-markers...like it doesn't matter where you put the ball, as long as it's close to either of those big white blocks of wood. Sometimes they will put it about 4 or 5 yards in front of where the ball markers are. Funny, you'd think this would be the first thing they are taught - that your ball goes in between these markers.

OK, this may not just be a newbie trait, but what about the people that will walk into all types of thickets, thorns, poison ivy, etc., just to retrieve their ball. If you're a newbie, not going though lengths to find a lost ball is a hard thing to deal with - after all, you know how much each of those balls costs and after only one drive, you can't imagine parting with it. Heck, that's why you purchased that ball retriever (which seems to find its way out of your bag more times than the 6-iron).

This is one of my personal favorites because my father (who took-up the game after I had already been playing for a few years) was guilty of this: Some newbie's develop an affinity for certain clubs, while at the same time they begin to shy-away from other clubs. My dad loved his 8-iron. He would (and still does sometimes) hit that iron from almost anywhere within 150 yards. Contrary to the love for his 8-iron, he despised his 9-iron. I know it doesn't make any logical sense, but I'll be damned if every time I convinced him to hit that club, he would shank the ball into the next fairway. To this day, my dad still won't use his nine - at this point, he should just take it out of his bag and lighten his load.

Not don't get me wrong - I love golf newbies - they are the future of the game and as veteran players, we should be obliged to take one under our wing (even if it's just to point out all the silly things they do on the course). In fact, I promised my three-bucket buddy I'm ready to hit the course with him ASAP (well, as soon as his blisters heal - see below).

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First Time On The Golf Course

A few months ago, late last golf season, I wrote about teaching the game to my oldest son. He purchased his own clubs with his birthday money and we hit the range a few times to get some work in before he hit an actual course. Unfortunately, there just wasn't enough time left in last year's golf season to ever make it out. So we hit the range a few more times, went to the indoor facility, and worked on our swings over the winter in anticipation of getting out on a course next season. Well, a few days ago, the time finally came.

However, I wondered where and when I was going to take him. Knowing his skill level, it didn't seem like a great idea to take him out on a weekend morning where we were going to slow down everyone around us. Also, taking him to play 18 on a course with a few 500 yard holes didn't seem wise yet either. I really wanted to avoid a par-3 course because I wanted him to have some variety on the holes and keep him from getting bored with the game. Then it came to me - an executive course! It's perfect! I have one right in town. It's nine holes, none longer than 290 yards but much more variety than a par-3 course. But now the question is, when do we go? Again, I'm trying to avoid slowing down all the golfers around us.

Fortunately, he's not only a pretty good athlete, he's also a pretty good student. So after receiving honors at school for the second time this year, I used that to reward him with a day off during the week and a round of golf. His mother wasn't too happy about him missing a day of school for golf, but I explained that I'm taking him out no matter what. I told her the choices were either we golf or go to the "gentleman's club." OK, before anyone freaks out, that's just a joke. So Friday morning around 11:00, we teed off for the first time.

His opening drive, of course, slices directly into the parallel fairway. We laugh it off and I tell him not to let it bother him - I promised he'll get to see me do that a few times today also. And I delivered on my promise.

It was amazing to see him progress from hole #1 to hole #9. It was like he was improving right before my eyes. By the time we hit the seventh, his slice was almost gone! There wasn't much distance to his shots, but they were pretty straight for the most part. His putting left something to be desired, but there's plenty of time to work on that.

As the round went on, I made sure to teach him not only the rules of the game, but the unwritten rules of etiquette as well. Not wanting to overwhelm him, I tried to fill him in on as we moved along. Simple things like staying quiet during someones swing, not stepping in someones line, etc...

By the end of the round it was clear this is another sport at which, if he sticks with it, he will excel also. Obviously, I gave him some mulligans and didn't count a drop here and there. But nevertheless his final score, not that it matters, wasn't too bad. He even managed to beat me on the eighth hole!

The best part about seeing him play, for me anyway, was that he never took it too serious. He didn't get upset with himself after a bad shot and he didn't let a bad shot affect his next one. He smiled and laughed throughout the round. He played the game exactly as you would expect a kid to play it, while still trying to do well. As a matter of fact, the most serious I saw him the entire day was when I let him drive the cart for two holes!

We wrapped the day up by talking about the round over a large pizza and a few sodas. We both looked forward to playing again and will certainly do so for, hopefully, many more summers to come. Although, I did let him know, I'm not always going to be easy on him. Mulligans, believe it or not, aren't an actual part of the game.

Truth is though, I'm going to have to be hard on him to keep him from beating me soon. But something tells me there's not much I'm going to be able to do about that.

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