What if You Could Play Every Round with a Pro?

So I'm hitting balls into the simulator at Dick's Sporting Goods a few months ago, trying to find a new driver (see story HERE). Anyway, the pro helping me (yes, Dick's hires PGA pros for their golf department) is named Ralph. Ralph is a down-to-earth kinda guy and is completely amused that I write for a blog called Golf Stinks. After a few minutes of chatting, he begins telling me about an idea for an app he has - one where he can be (sort of) on the course giving advice to thousands of golfers all over the world at the same time. This idea intrigued me and I told Ralph he should get busy developing said app. He agreed, I purchased my new driver and went on my merry way. Of course, I completely forgot about Ralph's app idea - until about two...

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The Best Time of Day To Golf?

I was asked recently; "When is the best time to golf?." I wanted to say "Whenever the old lady wants me to do something...," but she will be reading this post. Seriously though I had to stop and think for a second. There are golfers that play only if their tee time is at the ass-crack of dawn (frickin' go-getters) while there are others that won't go until the twilight special (cheap bastids).When is the best time? Growing up I used to hear sayings like "Early to bed, early to rise, blah, blah, blah..." And for the most part it is right. So, some benefits of golfing early would be you are well-rested mentally and physically and there are fewer people out there to slow you down (unless you were cuttin' the rug all night and the golf course...

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Need Some Time Off From Work? Get A Golf Job!

Why do people become teachers? Is it because the work is fulfilling? You know...shaping young minds, helping to strengthen the foundation of the future. Yeah, that's the standard, almost scripted answer you're likely to get if you ask a teacher. But they're not fooling anyone. We all know that's not the "real" reason. We all know the real reason is simply...the time off.Look back. If I stopped to think about it when I was younger, I would have thought a bit differently about my future. When I was busy enjoying a few weeks off throughout the year, a bunch of half-days, countless three-day weekends and...oh yeah....TWO AND A HALF MONTHS OFF IN THE SUMMER!!...I would have become a teacher. All I ever thought about was how great my school...

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When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever

For more than a year now, we here at Golfstinks have been telling you not to take your poor play and high handicap too seriously. We've posted many colorful articles on this blog that we hoped would instill in you the necessary frame of mind to enjoy golf while still stinking at it. In fact, we plan on posting many more of these types of articles.But to help you along, I've come across some great reading material. Whether in your favorite arm chair or on the porcelain throne, these books are sure to increase your laughter with every page-turn. Endorsed by former U.S. presidents and CEO's of Fortune 500 companies, "How to Line Up Your Fourth Putt" and the recently released "When to Regrip Your Ball Retriever" should be part of every golfer's...

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A Game of Firsts

Life happens, obviously. But every once in a while it hits me and for a moment there is some clarity. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I figured it out, all I mean is that stuff makes sense...sometimes. Like a golf swing, you know? You go through the motions and somehow it works...sometimes. How? Who the heck knows but you always remember that first time you did it.It seems (as the title implies) golf has many significant firsts. There are the great ones such as your first hole in one, birdie or eagle. And then there's the unspectacular firsts or the yang (because every ying has it's yang). The bogey, double bogey, snowman or the "why did I come out and play today?". This could also be followed by your first broken club.More importantly, I...

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Are You Jealous Of Other Golfers?

So my wife gets a call the other day from a relative out west. The only part of the conversation in which I'm involved is when when she tells said relative "Hold on, I'll tell him now." She then proceeds to tell me about the 74 he shot that morning. Now, am I jealous of the score? No, of course not. Well...maybe a little. But what I am jealous of is the fact that he played at all. See, it was 47 degrees and raining here. But I ask him..."How's the weather?" His response? "A little cool. It was only around 65 when we teed off. But it warmed up later." It was then that I though I just might be somewhat jealous of other golfers. Year in and year out, once the golf season winds down, I find I'm saying to myself "I wish I played...

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My Halloween Costume

Stinky Golfer Greg mentioned in his last post, "You Know that Local Course You Love So Much?" that autumn sadly signifies the end of our golf season here in the Northeast.Luckily, we have halloween though, a chance to dress up like a tool and still be accepted. Not that I dress like a tool normally, but you get the idea. What do you mean I can't wear cowboy boots and spandex shorts?So, I put some thought into my halloween costume this year and decided it should be golf-related. Not wanting to jump on the bandwagon and be Cigar Guy, I thought I could go as a professional tour player. How about Phil Mickelson? Good ol' Lefty would be a good one. All I have to do is make it to the end and...not win. Oof! Maybe not as good an idea as I thought....

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You Know that Local Course You Love So Much?

I'm a public course man - my golf "high" comes from playing different places every week. But when you've played as many as I have, they all tend to blend together - fairways, greens and traps meld with each other as if they were all part of some impressionist painting - only when I step back and take-in the big picture do courses' most striking features reveal themselves.But this time of year in the northeastern U.S., the golf season is winding down. Some of my golfing buddies have already stowed their clubs till spring. Even I find myself scaling back; playing 9-holes more frequently. And usually when I play 9-holes, it's at one place that I never forget about: Sleeping Giant Golf Course.I think every town or region has a Sleeping Giant Golf...

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The Christopher Columbus of Golf

In fourteen-hundred and ninety-two, Columbus sailed the ocean blue. And found this land, land of the free, beloved by you, beloved by me.Actually, I have no idea if those are the correct words. Everything after "blue" is pretty much a mystery. No one really seems to know the exact words. But that's OK, everyone knows the basic idea and the basis of the story. But I want to look at things on a much smaller scale. We know, for the most part, what it was that Columbus brought to this country. But in the spirit of the holiday (a day which I do not have off from work by the way), I was interested in finding out who brought golf as we know it to this country. Who is the Christopher Columbus of golf? Well, on the 18-hole scale anyway, it's...

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El Significado del Golf

A precision club-and-ball sport, in which competing players (golfers), using many types of clubs, attempt to hit balls into each hole on a golf course while employing the fewest number of strokes. A game in which a player using special clubs attempts to sink a ball with as few strokes as possible into each of the 9 or 18 successive holes on a course. - Merriam-WebsterA game played on a large open-air course, in which a small hard ball is struck with a club into a series of small holes in the ground, the object being to use the fewest possible strokes to complete the course. - Oxford EnglishSo which is it, a game or a sport? Personally, I couldn't give a crap but I'm sure many beers, pretzels and peanuts have been consumed arguing over this...

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The Truth About Walking the Golf Course

Now I realize if you walk the golf course, there's no place to put your beer. I get it. I've been guilty of using the cart as a portable keg too. It's so much easier to ride out there - no long walks between tees; no feeling like a mountain goat; no fatigue over the last few holes.Besides, when your doctor tells you to get more exercise, he doesn't mean to go play golf - at least my doctor didn't: "Golf is stop-and-go, Greg, you don't get enough of a workout walking a little, stopping to hit a ball and then walking a little more."But golfing has got to count for something, doesn't it? We've posed this question before, in this post, more than a year ago. But now we actually have some proof that walking the golf course is not only healthy, but...

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What If PGA Tour Golf Was a Team Sport?

Yeah, maybe this was partially inspired by the Ryder Cup, but it was much more inspired by my favorite Sunday afternoon activity....watching football. Football, in my opinion, is the ultimate team sport. Think about it. If just one single player doesn't do his job, the play is a waste. If one offensive lineman doesn't block...the QB is down. If a wide receiver, even though he's not even involved in the play, doesn't at least run his route, or block someone downfield, the play is busted. If a cornerback or safety doesn't cover their man, the other team is on their way to six. No other sport so heavily depends on the team as a whole.Look at basketball - at any point, one or two players per team are just standing around doing nothing -...

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Golfer Math

I was listening to my buddy, Jay, bark on the phone to his cable TV/internet/telephone provider's customer support representative, Ken, about an overcharge that wasn't refunded in full. He used the term "golfer math" in a way I had never heard. Actually, I never even heard of the term "golfer math", never mind the context in which he used it.So, Jay went back-and-forth with customer support until he reached the point of where enough was enough. He stopped and asked the rep, "Hey, let me ask you Ken, are you a golfer?" I'm guessing Ken answered yes and friend-o-mine followed with "OK...then maybe you should stop using golfer math when figuring out refunds." Ken must have replied with something like "Golfer math?", and then..."Yeah, golfer...

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