Sorry, You're Banned From the Back Tees

The view always seems better from the back tees, doesn't it? I've played at some fantastic locations over the years and it never fails - the scenery just seems to "pop" more from back there.

I've photographed most of the courses I've played. I'm not much of a photographer, but I've taken a few winners in my day and it's usually on the back tees where all my best photos are captured. I'll try and snap a few from the middle tees, but I always end up walking back for a better view.

The fact is, when you stand at the tips of a course, you're seeing what the course architect intended you to see - how the hole is "really" supposed to look. Leave that championship tee box and the view, the hole...the entire feeling just loses something.

And what of the challenge? A golfing buddy once told me: "You have to play from the tips because if you don't, you're not really playing the golf course." Is this true? It sounds reasonable - I don't think many architects design a course from the greens back. Typically, they design it from the tips forward - positioning the middle and forward tees somewhat after the fact.

This all seems logical to me. Screw it! I'm playing the back tees from now on! I'll take-in all the best views and test my metal on the true course layout! Boy, this is gonna be great! That is, of course, until I realize none of my tee shots are finding the fairway because A) they're either not long enough to make it over the caliche from back there or B) I couldn't successfully play a fade or draw around a corner to get it to the fairway.

You see, the reality is I have no business playing from back there, and neither do many of you. Yet I see it all too often. A couple of clowns who barely know how to hold a club are teeing it up from the tips. The result? A long afternoon on the course. Look, unless you know the course well, most average hacks should be teeing-off from the middle tees. For one, you won't get frustrated because you shot 10 strokes over your average. Second, you won't be holding up everyone on the course because of your struggles.

Heck, the USGA even came up with a rating system to help you decide which tee box you should play from. It's called the Slope Rating. Want to learn more? Read my post from last year called "What the Crap is a Slope Rating?" This is something our pal Tom over at the golfnoise blog should have done before he and his buddies let the way they were dressed get in the way of which tee-box they played from.

So, should average golfers never get to experience the course the way it was intended to be experienced? Not necessarily. Last week I wrote about the joys of playing golf when very few people were out on the course. I mentioned that if no one is behind you, it's OK to slow down and take in more of the scenery.

Next time there's plenty of room between you the group behind you, this is a perfect time to try playing from the tips. If one group starts to catch up, let them play through. The less stress you put on yourself, the better you'll play. Of course, don't say I didn't warn you when you shoot 10 strokes over your average from back there.

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Golf...A Game Of Averages?

Literally, golf is dominated by averages. Besides the whole thing of handicapping and averaging your scores or figuring out your GIR or how many putts per round so on and so forth. Averages rule this roost...average golfers that is.

Power in numbers my friends and the best thing about that is every golfer is involved in the process of figuring out the "average" golfer. From scratch golfers to scratched-out-scorecard golfers, we are all tossed into the big ol' number cruncher and voila - the average golfer is born.

I like to look at other numbers to average that are more realistic and mean more to my game. So here are a few of my criteria that help me determine where I stand.

• How many balls did I lose?
• How many Mulligans did I take?
• How many clubs are broken or need repair?
• How many obscenities did I use?
• How many times did I yell "Fore!!!"?

You get the point. In this game of averages why not use some thing that makes sense. As an average golfer, if I went home after a round and told the warden or one of my buddies "Hey, today I averaged 2.4839409 putts per hole." They could care less but if I told them that I only took 3 mulligans and only used the "F" word 7 times - they could relate!

How beautiful such an average word like "average" could be. Not to get all Sigmund Freud on this but, really good golfers (not all of them) must be pissed that they work so hard to be a scratch golfer and to have that score thrown in with likes of us regular golfers to determine the average. You know there is a permanent hair across their ass when they are behind a foursome of hacks. They sit there and bitch and moan about the group in front. Hey you pompous scratch golfers, maybe if you shot better the average golfers score would be higher... :)

Hit'em long...yell FORE!

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Why I Love Taking 5 Hours to Play Golf

Do you know one of the reasons why I like playing close to Thanksgiving in New England? I usually have the whole course to myself (save for a few wandering souls here and there). I enjoy my round just a little bit more when I don't feel rushed (or, conversely, if I'm waiting 4 foursomes deep on the tee).

Yep, this time of year, I can squeeze-out 18-holes in about 5 hours.

Now I know what some of you are thinking: "Five hours!? Are you crazy!? What are you, a tortoise? With no one in front of me, I could finish a round WAY faster than that!"

Yep, I surmise you could. But if you find yourself alone; on a perfect day; on the golf course; at the end of the season; and you blow through your round in 3 hours...I have news for you: You're an idiot.

What is this fascination we have with haste? Why, when we set out to do something, must we do it in the fastest way humanly possible? How can this possibly make sense for everything we do? I mean, I understand haste when the situation warrants it: "Holy...My sleeve's on fire! Quick, splash me with that bucket of water as fast as humanly possible!" Completely understandable. Or: "Can you lift this boulder off my leg as fast as humanly possible?" Again, nothing strikes me as odd there.

How about this one: "What a beautiful day to be out on the golf course! There's cool breeze, warm sun and it appears we're the only group for several holes! Let's play as fast as humanly possible."

Sounds ridiculous, right? See? That's my thought exactly. Yet, there are many, many golfers who are off to the races the second they step foot on the first tee - like it's a challenge to finish in record time. You know, they have a golf variation for that - it's called Speed Golf, and you can read about it HERE.

Think you're not a speed golfer? Consider this: How do you feel about a 5-hour round? Do you cringe at the thought? Maybe you just think: "Gee, that's an awful long time for a round of golf." In either case, you're doing yourself a disservice. After all, this is a game you love. You've waited all week to play; confirmed (three times) with your significant other that you'll be on the course Saturday; and spent an outrageous sum of money on new golf balls. Face it, you love it. Soooooooo...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU RUSHING FOR?

I blame the courses. Think about why 4 hours is the norm. It's not because old Tom Morris had to rush home and mow the lawn! No, it started because golf course managers figured out they could make more money if they got people to play faster! It's basic economics. There's only so much daylight and the quicker they can shove people through the course, the more greens fees they can collect. So now the problem is everybody thinks golf was meant to be played in 4 hours!

Obviously courses can and do put you on the clock - I understand that - they have to make money to stay in business. But I don't have to accept that as the norm! That's why I thoroughly enjoy when no one is around me - because I can play at a comfortable pace. Have you ever timed what your "comfortable pace" is on the course? Unless you're a speed golfer, I bet it's close to 5 hours.

Look, no one likes to wait on every hole, but there's a difference between waiting and slowing down and enjoying. Next time you've got a few holes open behind you, slow it down and enjoy - you'll find 5 hours isn't so bad after all.

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Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgolfing

I love Thanksgiving. I love spending time with the family. I love stuffing my face so much that I struggle to keep my eyes open at the dinner table. I love no longer struggling to keep my eyes open on the couch after dinner. I love having turkey sandwiches for the next couple of days. It's an all around great time of year. The time of year to give thanks and appreciation to your friends and family.

But today I want to take the time to give more specific thanks. I want to take a moment to give thanks to everyone in my golfing life. I'll start with my wife.

I have many things for which I should give thanks to my wife. First off, thanks for using your work hook-ups to get me my new golf clubs! I'm looking forward to the chance to use them more often than I did this year.

Second, thanks again for using your hook-ups to get me and my buddies on to a few courses for some sweet discounts! There's nothing like playing a nice course for less than half price!

And third, thanks for not busting my stones when I golf rather than clean out the garage, mow the lawn or any other household chore that I should get done.

Thanks to Josh, my oldest, for using his birthday money to purchase his own set of clubs. By doing this, it gave me the chance to take him out for his first round. I hope it's the first of many.

A long overdue thanks to stinky golfers Greg and Dog for introducing me to this game all those years ago. If it wasn't for you guys, I may have never taken up golf and consequently, I would never have known what I was missing!

And last but not least, thanks to everyone who takes the time to read the ramblings we post here. Whether it's serious, comical or just downright nonsense, we thank you for appreciating and/or understanding exactly what we here at golfstinks are trying to do. Without you, there is no us.

This will be my last post before the holiday, so Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and thanks again for your much appreciated support.

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Victory Redefined

Normally, I do not foray into the personal life of pro golfers or non golfers for that matter but thanks to Newsweek they brought it to me. You see Mr. Woods has kindly written a little somethin' somethin' called "How I've Redefined Victory" - Right, and this is because he had a winless 2010 so he had to "redefine" victory?

Below are the first three paragraphs from his editorial. My issue is that he says golf is a self-centered game and that he thought he was invincible but now realizes that you need to depend on others as well...blah blah blah. So, why did he write "How I've Redefined Victory" - To let us know he's a winner?

"Last November, everything I thought I knew about myself changed abruptly, and what others perceived about me shifted, too. I had been conducting my personal life in an artificial way�as if detached from the values my upbringing had taught, and that I should have embraced.

The physical pain from that car accident has long healed. But the pain in my soul is more complex and unsettling; it has been far more difficult to ease�and to understand. But this much is obvious now: my life was out of balance, and my priorities were out of order. I made terrible choices and repeated mistakes. I hurt the people whom I loved the most. And even beyond accepting the consequences and responsibility, there is the ongoing struggle to learn from my failings.

At first, I didn�t want to look inward. Frankly, I was scared of what I would find�what I had become. But I�m grateful that I did examine my life because it has made me more grounded than I�ve ever been; I hope that with reflection will come wisdom. Golf is a self-centered game, in ways good and bad. So much depends on one�s own abilities. But for me, that self-reliance made me think I could tackle the world by myself. It made me think that if I was successful in golf, then I was invincible. Now I know that, no matter how tough or strong we are, we all need to rely on others."

Don't get me wrong, I'm not taking anything away from his accomplishments on the golf course or in the bedroom...Ohhhh! Badum! I just think that this editorial was more an attempt to keep his name in the media in a positive light. It's not like he said anything different than his last swing at damage control. I don't know...I guess if you put your personal stuff out there, people (like me) will take shots at you.

I do want to add that this is all done in humor and there is no ill intention. Tiger Woods does a lot for the community through his Tiger Woods Foundation.

Hit'em long...yell FORE! Don't hate the player, hate the game...

To read Tiger Woods' editorial click here.

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You Never Get Better at Golf; You Only Get "Better"

"Better" is a relative term. On the one hand, getting better implies fixing all your problems (think: I was sick, but now I'm better). Translated for golf, this would mean you once had a double-digit handicap, but you're now a scratch golfer (I don't have to tell you how impossible that is to accomplish).

On the other hand, "better" (note the quotation marks) implies you are now simply more successful at something than you were previously. It is this "better" that we stinky golfers need to strive for.

Last week, I posted about a new book entitled Golf Sense that aims to help golfers get "better" by focusing on the mental part of the game. And, I fully intend to use some of the tactics in Golf Sense to try and get "better." But what will "better" mean for me and my game?

As fellow golfer and Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist Mike Royko wrote years ago about our sport:

"...if you picked up an ad that said you could suddenly become a sensational baseball player if you bought a particular baseball glove or bat, you would snort in disbelief. But open any golf publication and you will see page after page of ads that claim this golf stick will give you incredible distance, that golf ball will defy gravity and this golf book will give you the 10 secrets of the ancient Scots to the perfect golf swing. It's all nonsense...but [golfers] rush to buy the ball with the most dimples, the driver with the meteorite head, the putter with the heel-toe-eye-ear-nose weighting. Then, after they swing and the ball plops into a bush behind them, they wonder, 'Can the problem be me?'"

The short answer is; Yes, the problem is you. And there's probably not much you can do about it. But every year, stinky golfers fork over tons of their hard-earned cash on the latest gadgets and clubs hoping it will land us on the pro tour (or at least as the local club champion). But are we just setting ourselves up to fail?

You see, I think the real quick fix is to accept the fact that you stink. Once this hurdle has been cleared, things will get much easier. You will be able to go out and enjoy a round without fussing over your triple-digit score. No more fretting over hitting a ball into the lumber yard; No more club-tossing into the pond on 13; No more, well...anger. If you flub one 3 feet off the first tee, there's no need to be embarrassed...you stink; that's what you're supposed to do!

Ah, but that's easier said than done. The truth is, I try to not care. Really, I do. If I knock one down off the tee, I'll laugh it off. But deep down, I know I'm "better" than that - so it kinda bothers me. It also bothers me when I have a bad round (we wouldn't call it a "bad round" if we didn't care).

But every golfer should have his or her own definition of what "better" means. For some, breaking 100 is "better." If you fall into that category, you should be ecstatic the day you shoot a 99. Do you still stink? Absolutely. But are you "better?" Most definitely! Are you beating yourself up over not shooting a 72? Hell no! You're framing that 99 and mounting it over the mantle. Yep, "better" is a relative term and stinky golfers need to appreciate baby steps.

For me, I'd consider "better" being in a good frame of mind while playing. If I can just go out there and relax - not worry about my score and keep myself loose, I think I'd be happier. And I'm hoping that calm state of mind will shave a few strokes off my game in the process. If that happens, will I be a pro? Hardly. But I'll be "better" at something I love to do, which is just dandy with me.

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Do You Take Advantage Of The "Fall Golf Special?"

It's a sad time of year when the golf season winds down. The clubs get put away, courses begin to close up shop and the weather just doesn't seem to cooperate anymore. You know you're at that point when it seems there's nothing else to look forward to for the rest of the year. Maybe, just maybe, you might get one more nice weekend...but it's not all that likely.

But let's say that one nice weekend does come along in mid- to late November. Where are you going to play? Do you take your chances with one of the few remaining open courses? How about those courses running their "Fall Specials?" You know, a course that normally runs about $45 to walk 18 is now charging $30 with a cart. It sound like a great deal...but is it really?

Knowing that the season is winding down, and all of these courses are now in the process of their seasonal layoffs, it goes without saying that the maintenance and upkeep of the course is now on the back-burner. Yeah, they lowered the price, but they've also lowered the quality of the course. It's pretty simple really. The fewer people working at the course, the less work is getting done.

You certainly can't blame the course. Obviously, at this time of year fewer golfers are hitting the links. So it only makes good business sense to cut costs. But in an attempt to still make some late season money, they run some specials. Sounds like a plan. So why not take advantage? Well, because of what I said earlier...the course is no longer being fully maintained. So the question is, do you take advantage of the lower costs even though the conditions are deteriorating?

Many won't take advantage...but I'm not one of them. Discount golf you say? I'll take it! I've said it before, I don't care where I'm golfing...as long as I'm golfing. Now there are exceptions. There are some courses that I won't play for free. But for the most part, you can count me in. For instance, I have a course roughly 15 minutes from my house that's running one of these specials. It's a nice course. Not a great course, but it's no mortar range either. Normally, the greens fees run $42 for 18 holes (tack on $16 more to ride). But during the fall special? $35 with a cart! Well worth it for a course of its caliber!

So I ask...do you take advantage of these specials? Are you the type who will play anywhere if the price is right? Or do you feel the price is not worth it if the upkeep is lacking? I know how I feel. I'm gonna play anyway. So if I can play cheaper? It's a no-brainer.

Swing 'til you're happy...especially when it costs less to do so!

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Televised Golf Ruined My Game

Every time I watch golf on TV I "think" I gain some insight on how to better my game...(insert 'wrong answer' buzzer here). Damn you professional-touring-golfer-who-makes-it-look-so-easy. Why do you make me believe I can make these shots and instead I end up messing them up? You can't tell me you've never watched a pro on TV hit a shot and then tell yourself "Ah ha! That's how you do it."

Now, add in the commentator (another enabler) and you're convincing yourself you can hit 'em like they do and in no time be on the tour. For example, David Deherty was talking about Tiger's shot and what he was going to do. Deherty, with all his wit, proceeds to tell the viewers how Tiger is going to "come across his body and really rotate his wrists"...WTF does that really mean to me? Regardless, I watch Tiger hit the shot flawlessly with some right to left movement on the ball and land it on the green.

Apparently, I must have consumed a retard sandwich prior to watching because I thought to myself...again..."Ah ha! That's how you do it." That's definitely how you do it alright, if you want to make yourself look like an ass and take yourself out of your game. Not for nothing but, how do these commentators know what shot these guys are going hit before they hit it?

Here's my last gripe with televised golf. I just got a new HDTV and the picture on it is pretty friggin' good. I start to notice things like how much greener the fairways are than my local track. How much more level the tee boxes are and how smooth the greens are and so on. So, I've figured out a couple solutions to this tv hindering my golf experience thing. 1) practice, practice, practice and try to qualify or 2) change the channel...

Hit'em long...yell FORE!!

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I Get My Golf Advice From a Guy Who Doesn't Golf

My friends, I'm about to take a leap of faith. I've decided to change the way I approach my swing, my putting, in fact my entire game. And I'm entrusting this momentous metamorphosis to a man who doesn't even play golf.

Yep, I'm an idiot.

I've just finished reading a book called "Golf Sense - Practical Tips On How To Play Golf In The Zone" (Front Runner Publications, 2010). It's a book that follows nicely on the heels of another golf book I read recently; "Straight Down the Middle" (see my review HERE).

Both these books are, as it happens, similar in that they don't really give swing advice, rather, they attempt to put you in a golfing state of mind. Where Straight Down The Middle helped me find "inner peace" on the course, Golf Sense provides you with practical exercises to help you keep that inner peace going throughout your round.

The irony of it all is the author of Golf Sense, Roy Palmer, states right in the introduction that he doesn't even play golf! I almost closed the book right then and there. But, Mr. Palmer was nice enough to ship me the book gratis from across the pond in England - I figured the least I could do was read it (all the misspellings idiosyncrasies of the Queen's English included).

I was originally inspired by this golfing inner peace (or getting in the zone) from the movie The Legend of Bagger Vance - the scene on the tee when Bagger is explaining to Junuh why Bobby Jones is so good ("he's in the field"). To me, there's just something about letting go of all the BS in your head, getting out of your own way (mentally) and just letting your natural swing emerge - it just sounds like the way a golf swing is meant to be executed.

So as I digested Mr. Palmer's book, I felt his writings and exercises (many of which can be done without a club and while you're actually reading the book) would really help me find that happy place to exist in during a round. For example, he points to tension in the swing as a major cause of poor play - tension that you may not even know you have since habitually, you've swung the same way for so many years.

But realizing the cause of your poor golf shots is only the beginning. Golf Sense is packed with simple ways to put you in (and keep you in) a calm and relaxed state of mind on the course (which will translate into a more relaxed swing, and subsequently lower scores). I have to say, I'm anxious to give it a try.

So my plan is to put Mr. Palmer's book to the test. Beginning in the new year, I am going to practice a few of the exercises at home. Then, once the weather gets warmer, I will move to the range and finally to the course. I'll post sometime next season about how I'm progressing.

If you'd care to join me, feel free to get your own copy of Golf Sense HERE and email me (greg@golfstinks.com) with your own experiences using this method. Stay tuned...

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Play Golf, Save Money!

Golf is expensive. I could say nothing more and there would be no argument. The cost of the sport is what keeps many from getting into golf to begin with. For starters, you need the equipment to play. Clubs, a bag, shoes, balls, tees, etc...not too mention the certain type of clothing you may be required to purchase if you don't already have it. And that's before you even get out there! You didn't even pay your greens fees yet! Hell, I've been playing golf for years and the cost is what keeps me from playing more than anything else.

For years, many of us have waited for "twilight" times to get a break on greens fees. Some of us have a buddy working at a course who will get us a discount when the boss is gone. I know I've skipped out on a day of work a few times to play a course for a lower rate. But what if there was a better way to cut into the cost? Maybe you can make this game a little easier on your wallet. Well, for a mere $67 you can discount your rounds of golf for an entire year! How is that you say? Well, with the Player's Pass of course!

The Players Pass allows members to play courses for a fraction of their regular prices. And for only $67, the membership practically pays for itself after only two or three rounds at any of the participating courses. I know what you're thinking..."Sure, but you have to play on a Tuesday afternoon, tee off at 3:30 and it's only valid from December through February." Well, you'd be wrong. The beauty of the Player's Pass is that it's valid for an entire year. And at the 2,000+ participating courses throughout the country, weekends are included! With that many courses included in the Players Pass network, you're bound to find a participating course near you.

So what are these discounts you ask? Well, how about a 2-for-1 greens fee? How about discounts between $20-$50? How about discounts of up to 70%?!

Maybe you ask "Yeah, but what are the courses? Are they the crappy tracks that no one wants to play anyway?" I can only base my findings on my own experiences here in Connecticut but, of the eleven courses listed, the grouping is pretty impressive. I'll admit, I was a bit surprised to find a discount at Fox Hopyard Golf Club included in the group. "The Fox" is a superb all around course and is easily one of the top three in the state! Several other courses included are also among the better tracks CT has to offer. So I would suggest logging onto the site and taking a look at your states listing. You just might be pleasantly surprised.

So this sounds like a pretty good package, right? Sure it does. But you know what could make it better? If it was free! Our friends over at Players Pass have agreed to give away one free membership to a golfstinks reader. And as usual, it's quite simple to enter your name for a chance to win. Simply head over to the golfstinks facebook page and hit "like." What could be easier than that?! We'll choose one random winner and you could be on your way to playing cheaper golf without rushing to beat the sunset!

Go to the golfstinks facebook page, click like, win a Players Pass and swing 'til you're happy!

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Only You John Daly...Only You

I have to give Mr. Daly credit. He might not be the best role model for the young golfers out there but, I admire his honesty. A couple weeks back he was signing a copy of his book "My Life In And Out Of The Rough" (hmmmmm...you could also replace the word "Rough" with other stuff like "Bottle" or "Most Ridiculous Pants"). Anyway, he supposedly told a Charlotte, NC newspaper that he was happier as a miserable drunk and that he played better drunk.

Come on John, don't sugar coat it! Tell us how you really feel. He also went on to mention that he hasn't had a drink in two years and that the more he works on his game sober, the worse he gets. And he hasn't been in the top 10 in the last 4 years, to boot. Well, I guess that puts the kibosh on a possible career in motivational or public speaking when he retires from golf. Could you imagine if he was to speak at an AA meeting?

This brings me to my next issue. What's up with the threads? I'm going to chalk his wardrobe up to the booze. Oh no? You tell me...

Could these pants be symbolic? Is he going "Tiger" hunting in his red and black? Nah, you can blame Jack Daniels.


Ok...Ringling Bros. might be hiring if this golf thing doesn't pan out.


Aloha...


John Daly, you ol' motor boatin' son of a b, I didn't know you were such a fan of John Holmes?


John, please tell me this is for breast cancer awareness.

You know what John, we might bust them on you a little now and again, but in my book, you're an honest, stand-up (maybe wobbly at times but standing up nonetheless) guy. Thanks for keeping us smiling...

Hit'em long, yell FORE!

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Oh, it's Your Birthday? Here's a Free Round of Golf.

My birthday was yesterday. I like Halloween, so I can appreciate my birthday being two days later. But in reality, my birthday is mostly associated with election day.

More presidents, senators and governors have been voted into office on the day of my birth than I care to remember. And I hate to say it, but it's always a bit annoying to drag myself down to the polls and stand in line to vote on my birthday - but hey, that's what being an American is all about.

I'll tell you what wouldn't be annoying to do on my birthday though - play golf! I know, it's already 38 degrees in the morning here in the Constitution State and it's topping off at around 53 in the afternoon, but I would still enjoy to get out there and play - especially for free.

Well, free golf on your birthday isn't out of the question, no sir. I was perusing through our Twitter followers the other day (twitter.com/golfstinks) and came across a Twitter handle entitled twitter.com/FreeRoundofGolf. A few clicks later and I was on freebirthdaygolf.com - a site run by (it appears) a guy named Mark Hainsworth.

Mr. Hainsworth has compiled a list of 320 golf courses that will give you a free round of golf on your birthday. Sound too good to be true? I thought so too...There had to be a catch. But so far, I haven't found one.

I signed up on freebirthdaygolf.com (requires only a first name and email address) and waited for my confirmation email, which I received promptly. I then was able to download a PDF document listing the 320 courses (complete with working links to the birthday specials).

The courses are listed alphabetically by state (most courses are in the US, with a few in Canada) and I scrolled down to Connecticut. Turns out my state has only one course listed: Eastwood Country Club, a 9-hole, regulation sized golf course in Torrington, CT. I clicked on the link and sure enough, I was taken to a page on Eastwood's website that explains you get a free round of golf to be used within one week on either side of your birthday.

So, what did I have to do to take advantage of Eastwood's generosity? You can see for yourself HERE. But basically, I filled out a form (this time I had to provide my address and phone #, but still no credit card) and immediately was taken to a page where I could print my free birthday golf voucher (see photo)! What's more, since my birthday falls between October and March, I am able to redeem my free round through April 30 2011!

OK, I know out of all the courses in CT, only one is on this list - and it's only a 9-holer. But I don't think I care - free golf is free golf! My second home state (where my wife is from) is New Mexico, where there are three courses listed and two of which I know are awesome 18-hole tracks. Go ahead and check if there are courses in your area. Or, if you know of a course not on the list, I'm sure Mr. Hainsworth would like to know.

Perhaps if there's enough interest, more courses will start offering little incentives like free golf on your birthday - which should hopefully entice more people to play golf in the first place. So hats off to Mr. Hainsworth for compiling this list - I plan on using my free golf voucher next spring.

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What's More Frightening Than My Golf Game?

Up until now, the scariest thing for me about this great sport of golf has been my own game. I have seen fellow golfers cringe at the site of me in a trap. Some have stared on in horror as I line up a four-footer. Others have even released blood-curdling screams at the site of my drives! Well.., on second thought, that could have been laughter. But either way...the point is my golf game is scary!

As scary as it may be though, it doesn't quite qualify as that Halloween type scary. But what in golf does? A Mickelson meltdown? A Sergio blowup? John Daly's pants? If those don't do it for ya...how about a creepy, ghostly figure watching from the woods as you putt-out on 18?

Sound ridiculous? Well, some golfers at the City Park golf courses in New Orleans would argue otherwise. Here, on the 18th hole of the East Course, that's exactly what many golfers have reportedly witnessed. How's that for a gallery?

For some people however, fear lies in the unknown. So what about a supposed ghost that no one ever sees but causes mischief? A golf course poltergiest if you will. We'll have to travel to England for this one. The Church Stretton Golf Course in Shropshire, UK reportedly has a ghost inhabiting the thirteenth hole. Locals here talk of a ghost who will steal your tee shots right from the middle of the fairway! Supposedly, you can see your drive land, but it's a different story when you arrive at that spot as the ball is nowhere to be found. I'd like to see a ruling on that situation! Would it be considered an act of God? If it is a ghost...is it a hazard? If the ghost was murdered in its earthly life...then is it a man-made hazard and therefore you get a free drop?

Maybe watchers in the woods and ball thiefing spectres aren't enough for you. In that case, how about the reported sightings of the ghost of a woman murdered on the course she haunts? In 1936 a woman was murdered on the seventh fairway of the beautiful Victoria Golf Club in Victoria, BC, Canada. Reportedly, her presence can be spotted on that very fairway!

OK, but these are just reports. There's no proof or evidence of any type. Ah, but what if there was? The photograph above is one of two taken at the Aetna Springs Golf Course in Pope Valley, CA - arguably the oldest course west of the Mississippi. Supposedly, the pictures were taken on the course in 1963. Several shots were taken, but in only two, strange images showed up on film that were not visible at the time of the shots. As the story goes, the images of eight monks have been seen crossing a fairway on this course. Some witnesses have reportedly even been able to make out the agonized expressions on the monks faces! Now that's one for the Ghost Hunters!

There you have it. I didn't think I could do it, but in the spirit of Halloween, I found something out on the golf course scarier than my game. And I even found a picture to prove it. But not only did I find that, I have now also stumbled across a great new excuse for losing my ball - it was snatched up by a ghost! Let's see if I can get anyone to go along with that one!

Happy Halloween!

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