Golf...A Game Of Averages?

Literally, golf is dominated by averages. Besides the whole thing of handicapping and averaging your scores or figuring out your GIR or how many putts per round so on and so forth. Averages rule this roost...average golfers that is.

Power in numbers my friends and the best thing about that is every golfer is involved in the process of figuring out the "average" golfer. From scratch golfers to scratched-out-scorecard golfers, we are all tossed into the big ol' number cruncher and voila - the average golfer is born.

I like to look at other numbers to average that are more realistic and mean more to my game. So here are a few of my criteria that help me determine where I stand.

• How many balls did I lose?
• How many Mulligans did I take?
• How many clubs are broken or need repair?
• How many obscenities did I use?
• How many times did I yell "Fore!!!"?

You get the point. In this game of averages why not use some thing that makes sense. As an average golfer, if I went home after a round and told the warden or one of my buddies "Hey, today I averaged 2.4839409 putts per hole." They could care less but if I told them that I only took 3 mulligans and only used the "F" word 7 times - they could relate!

How beautiful such an average word like "average" could be. Not to get all Sigmund Freud on this but, really good golfers (not all of them) must be pissed that they work so hard to be a scratch golfer and to have that score thrown in with likes of us regular golfers to determine the average. You know there is a permanent hair across their ass when they are behind a foursome of hacks. They sit there and bitch and moan about the group in front. Hey you pompous scratch golfers, maybe if you shot better the average golfers score would be higher... :)

Hit'em long...yell FORE!

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Requirements For Being A Stinky Golfer

We here at Golfstinks.com love the game, so don't let the name fool you. At some point, I'm pretty sure every golfer out there has voiced their opinion that "golf stinks" - whether it be half-heartedly or, for the moment, on the whole. You see, this is the common factor that links 99% of the golfers out there; we're all alike in our not-so-great play. Do we quit and hang up the sticks? Hell no! We go out and buy more expensive ones.

So, about this stinking at golf thing. Take a look at these next ten questions:

1. Do you play or have you ever played some form of golf? (Driving ranges count, mini or putt-putt golf does not, and don't tell me you are working on your putting. When the hell did a green ever have a clown's mouth or windmill)?

2. Are you good?

3. Do you stink?

4. Do you own golf clubs or at least one golf club (not used for protection)?

5. Do you enjoy the game for the most part?

6. Do you create curse words on the course that makes holy water boil?

7. Do you use a golf ball to play (any kind, range balls included)?

8. Can you use a term from golfstinks.com's Average Joe Golf Glossary to describe any part of your last round?

9. Can you recall that last great shot or memory you had on the course that'll keep you coming back?

10. Are you going to golf again?

I'll tell you what, if you answer yes to any of these requirements, you my friend, are part of a community - our community - of over 25 million members strong. Now get out there and play...(and of course, yell fore)!

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