Golf On Super Bowl Sunday?

Well, that was my favorite day of the year. People always ask others, "What's your favorite holiday?" Generally I answer with Halloween, Thanksgiving or Christmas, depending upon...well, actually I don't know what it depends upon. My answer just tends to change. But I think I'm going to start being more consistent with my response. From this point on, my answer is going to be Super Bowl Sunday.

After all, I think more people celebrate, or gather for Super Bowl Sunday than any other holiday. People of all race, religion and sex celebrate the championship game of the greatest spectator sport going. Even people who aren't really into football are there for the celebration! And whether the game is competitive or not, it doesn't make a difference. My eyes are pretty much glued to the TV until the final whistle...and then some.

But even on Super Bowl Sunday, I'll still make some time for another love - golf. Not a real round, it's too cold for that and it takes too long. I can't have any potential interruptions to either the game or the preparations leading up to it. I'm talking about indoor golf. Or, more specifically, the golf simulator.
,br>Now, I've mentioned before that I believe the simulator is more of a giant game video game than it is a useful tool. It's inaccurate distance-wise, doesn't have a real "golf course feel" obviously, and I'm not sure how accurate it is a far slices and hooks. But that doesn't make it any less fun! And much like regular golf, that's all I'm really there for. So when the invitation was extended earlier in the week, I was in immediately.

But I think using the simulator is more than just a game too. It's a way to get a few swings in over the winter. It will help me to stay in "golf shape" so I don't hit the course next season looking like I've never swung a club in my life. But then I think to myself..."Who am I kidding? I don't really give a crap about that. I just want to play a big video game!" I've still got a whole lot of kid in my heart, so the simulator is right up my alley...and I'm not going to pass up the opportunity.

But...the tee-time was beginning to cut things a little close. After all, it is Super Bowl Sunday still. But for the golf simulator I'm willing to risk cutting into a little bit of prep time. We had to change the tee-time twice. One more change and I may have had to backout. I have also mentioned before, for me, golf takes a backseat to football. And that's real golf! The simulator has no chance!

But I was there. I was there on Super Bowl Sunday. On the greatest day of the year for sports fans, I made sure to squeeze in a little bit of golf. Even if it was just a video game, nonetheless, I was there...

Swing 'til you're happy!

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What To Do With Your Crappy Golf Gifts?

It happens every Christmas without fail...Someone (typically a non-golfer) will give me a crappy, useless golf gift that will just clutter-up my attic. Oh, they mean well, but they should know better.

"But my co-worker (or neighbor, or cousin or concubine) loves golf. Why shouldn't I buy them that little desktop golfer figurine with the plaid pants?"

I think the answer is obvious: Because regardless of if they like golf or not, a little golfer figurine for your office is just plain stupid.

For me, this past holiday was no different (see photo below).

Yes, that is what it looks like: A golf bag telephone. Let me restate that: A foot and a half tall golf bag telephone. OK, I know what you're thinking; It's the thought that counts.

But seriously, where am I supposed to put that thing? First off, I don't even have a home phone line, so actually using it is out. Secondly, even if I could use it, there'd be no space left on my desk to do any work!

So what should I do with it? Is there a place you can send all your kitsch to have it recycled? If only.

I ran across a mommy blogger complaining about holiday tchotchkes she received as gifts and one commenter suggested to donate the stuff to Goodwill. That's actually not a bad idea - I'll bet someone will get excited over this thing.

Of course, there are a plethora of golfers who read this blog. Perhaps one of you can use this to complete that golf-themed den you've been working on for the past 10 years?

So here's the deal: Email me at greg@golfstinks.com if you want this phone (include your snail mail address)! If I get multiple requests (doubtful, but you never know) then I'll randomly choose someone. If I don't get any requests (entirely plausible), then it's off to the Goodwill.

Upon which, one of my crazy aunts will probably stumble across it, buy it and re-gift it to me for next Christmas.

A few notes on this phone: It didn't come in a box, so there are no instructions. And since I don't have a landline, I haven't actually checked that it works. It seems to be in rather good condition though. Hey, what do you want for free?

**UPDATE! Congrats to Pat from New York - he was one of several people (believe it or not) interested in owning the golf bag telephone! According to Pat, the phone is going to reside in his "downstairs recreation area." Enjoy it Pat - obviously you'll get more use out of it than I would have!**

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Golf Clubs?! I Got Your Golf Clubs Right Here...Merry Christmas!

In my post a couple weeks ago, I broke some balls about getting fitted for clubs. It was an attempt at being funny about shooting poorly and blaming it on the clubs. I know, I know...I won't quit my day job. Comedy's not my schtick. All jokes aside though, having a set of clubs that you are comfortable with definitely benefits your game. The only problem was that I had to figure it out the hard way.

Growing up with non-golfers, my only exposure to the game consisted of maybe catching Watson, Norman, Strange or Stewart on TV for a hole or two on Sunday afternoon. Oh, wait...I can't forget my mother's cousin, Vincenzo from Jersey, who traveled around with a nine iron in the trunk of his Lincoln Continental. Never quite understood that...nor do I want to. Nevertheless, that little taste of golf was enough to spark a curiosity. The problem was, how do I get started in this game?

Enter Stinky Golfer Greg. He pretty much gave me my first set of clubs. You see, if I asked for a set of clubs for Christmas...well...read the title. Basically, I was on my own. Fast forward 12 years or so and I'm glad it worked out this way. You don't want someone who has never played golf to buy you clubs. Especially me, I'm a lefty. And Greg just happened to have a left-handed friend who bought a new set a few years earlier, but he wasn't using them. That made all the difference for me. Instead of a mix-match set of garage sale clubs, I had a complete set of cavity backs.

Now, in the beginning, your clubs might not make a difference, but as your game develops they will. I'm not saying you have to spend a fortune on clubs, but if you are going to play on a regular basis, I would consider investing in a set and not necessarily settling for a set. Hey, it's the holiday season. Treat yourself or a loved one to the fine game of golf.

Hit'em long...yell Fore!!! Happy Holidays!

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Secret Santa Gifts For Golfers

Well, it's that time of year again...The time for last minute gift shopping. If you're like me, then every year you wait until the last possible minute to finish up your holiday shopping. And someone who almost always comes within mere hours of being left out in the cold is the person I've pulled for my Secret Santa.

Even as I write this, I am less than two days from my company's holiday party, and I have yet to purchase a gift for him. And to make it even a bit tougher on me...he's not a golfer! So I have no idea where to even begin. Ah, who am I kidding - he's getting a bottle of something. Only if this guy would take up golf, I'd have some great ideas for Secret Santa gifts.

If you've followed any of my previous posts regarding holiday gifts (A Few Golf Items Not Under My Tree and It's Christmas in July for Golfers) you'll see that some of my ideas were on the expensive side. But this time, I need to keep costs down due to our Secret Santa spending limit. Well that and I'm poor. But along with a gift from me comes a bit of my sense of humor. So lets just say, these gifts might not be for everyone. With that being said, lets start with this one:

Ah, the Potty Putter. Now that's a classic. For everyone who believes spending a little time on the ol' porcelain throne is quite the waste of time, then here's a great opportunity to turn it into quality time. Why not leave a scorecard along with it? Play a game with whoever follows you in? OK, maybe that's pushing it a little bit. But you know what's not? This:


What could go better with the potty putter than a roll of 19th hole bath tissue? I don't know about you, but sometimes you just need a little something fresh for the reading room. After all, it's called the reading room for a reason, no?

But what about something that your Secret Santa gift recipient could use out on the course? Well, how about this golf bag?

Now this looks like something quite convenient. A nice little pouch that could give you easy access to your balls. Sort of a ball bag for your golf bag. Nothing can intimidate another golfer more than carrying your balls on the outside. Why is everyone giggling? I don't get it.

OK, so the guy I have to buy for isn't a golfer, but maybe your stocking stuffer or Secret Santa recipient is. But not just a golfer - it has to be a golfer with a sense of humor. A golfer who would appreciate a bit of bathroom humor. Or someone who would just like the convenience of having a ball sack hanging off of their golf bag....oooohhhhh....I get it now. Funny stuff! In case anyone is reading this and has me for Secret Santa...see above.

Swing 'til you're happy!

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POLL: Is Golf Stuff On Your Holiday Wish List?

Every year around the beginning of December, my wife asks me what I want for Christmas. This year, I asked for a forged set of...wait for it...J.A. Henckles. In case you're not familiar with this German company, they make culinary knives, not golf clubs.

The funny thing is I'm not much of a chef. I do make a mean salsa, but it's not like I blog about my cooking skills. Golf, on the other hand, I do blog about. But the thought of asking her for golf clubs, or even something golf-related, never even crossed my mind.

To go a step further, I don't even remember a year in which something golf-related was on my wish list! I never really thought about it until now, but I guess much of this boils down to two reasons:

First, I'm very particular about what I buy myself for golf. I have to get certain clubs, certain balls, etc. But secondly, I guess I've always thought of golf as my personal hobby. My wife doesn't play golf. So when I make a golf-related purchase, it's something I've researched, tried-out and saved up for - it's never been something left up to others to get for me.

Thus, my Christmas list has always consisted of things like a new watch, or new shoes or forged knives - not golf stuff. Oh don't get me wrong, I've received golf gifts that I haven't asked for - some of which have been helpful, and others that have been, well, re-gifted (I've heard through the family grape-vine that I'm set to receive a telephone in the shape of a golf bag this December 25th from a cousin on my wife's side...I can hardly wait).

Anyway, what about you? Are you receiving fabulous golf gifts from your spouse while I'm too anal to even put them on my wish list? I don't know, but somehow, I feel as if I could be missing out.

Is Golf Stuff on your Holiday Wish List?

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