Oh No! I've Lost My Golf Hook-Up!

Doesn't everyone just love that guy/girl that's got your hook-up? You know, the one who can get you something from somewhere for free or cheap? Maybe it was something that...ah-ahem..."Fell off a truck." Or, when you ask where they came across this particular product, the response is "Don't worry about it...I got a guy." Who can't appreciate that?

When I was a kid, it was a few friends who worked at McDonald's, Dairy Queen and Dunkin' Donuts. As I got older, it turned into a buddy who was a mechanic. My wife even managed to find someone who just happens to come across inexpensive televisions. Nice! And speaking of my wife, I was even lucky enough to befriend a jeweler years ago. Boy I'll tell ya, you don't realize how badly you're getting screwed by a jewelry store until you bring them a diamond ring you purchased from a private jeweler and they tell you they would price it at almost three times what you paid! Now that's a hook-up!

But speaking of my wife, I'm not ashamed to say that I had been using her as a hook-up also. Thanks to her job in the golf industry, I've played golf courses for a fraction of the regular cost as well as purchased my custom-fit clubs for about half of what it would normally cost. However, that all appears to be gone now. In a move that, for several reasons had to be made, my wife quit her job in the industry and has decided to turn her part-time photography business into her full-time work.

While I of course wish her the best, I will certainly miss the hook-up aspect of the previous job. See, I didn't play a whole heck of a lot of golf this year. And of the few times I did manage to get out and play, it was at the benefit of my wife's hookups. So what am I going to do without her?

Of course, her new pursuit has already found me someone who has done my brakes for a great price. It's also found me an electronics repair guy who can hopefully save me a few bucks as well. Both are great hookups, but it's still not golf.

I'm worried that without the "hook-up motivation" I may not be out on the course any more next season than I was this one. So I guess we'll have to see what the off-season brings. You never know, maybe photography will bring her in contact with someone else in the golf industry that can help me out. But if not, as long as my wife is happy with her decision, I'll settle for brakes and MP3 players.

Swing 'til you're happy!

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You Golf the Way You Eat

About a year ago, I asked what you eat at the turn. In my research for that post, I discovered that eating at the turn is only half the battle. It's also about what you eat before your round (and the snacks between holes) too. Like most nutritionists say about all sports; Eating well leads to playing well.

But is this really true for golf?

Physically fit golfers are a rather new anomaly on the pro tour. Remember a few decades ago? Think about Jack Nicklaus, who until he trimmed-down for the 1970 season, was the subject of "fat" jokes. Or more recently, John Daly. I think those guys proved you don't have to be in top shape to play great golf.

OK, I know what you're thinking: "But those guys are far and few between - most golfers are thin." Perhaps, but let's forget about the pros for a minute and concentrate on the average weekend hack. Many of us stop at Dunkin' Donuts or McDonald's to grab a coffee and breakfast sandwich before our round.

Well, according to the vast majority of nutritionists out there, chowing on a bacon, egg and cheese sandwich before your round is disastrous. It may give you an initial boost of energy but by the back nine, you'll be dragging ass. I have to admit, I'm usually pretty tired for the last three holes...perhaps it's that Egg McMuffin coming back to haunt me. Or, perhaps it's because for the last 3 hours I've played 15 holes of golf!

Anyway, let's get back to whether eating "right" before and during a round matters or not. Consider the title of this post: "You Golf the Way You Eat." Well, I have fun eating and I have fun golfing. So I guess that statement is true.

OK, I know what you're thinking again: "That's not what that statement means!" No? Hmmm. I'm not sure what else it can mean. For me, I golf to relax...To unwind and have some fun. Why ruin it with a special golf diet?

Now I'm not telling everyone to eat comfort foods while playing golf...But I am saying: Do what makes you happy. Who cares if that hot dog and beer at the turn costs you a couple strokes on the last two holes? Unless I'm playing for money, I'd gladly give up the strokes for the dog and brew.

Now, I realize not everyone is like me. But if you're an average hacker and are forcing yourself to eat a specific way in hopes of lowering your score...consider this: You're not going to make the PGA tour. Ever. Not gonna happen. Not a chance. Pigs will fly first. Hell will freeze over and the sky will fall before you make a living playing professional golf.

But, I digress.

See? I bet that beer and hot dog are looking better already.

Despite the fact that Stinky Golfer Greg writes for this popular golf blog, he is in no way, shape or form qualified to be giving nutritional advice. Always check with your physician before altering your diet.

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