Ahh Jeez, For The Love Of...Golf?

Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results (he must have been a golfer). Psychology tells us that a relationship normally consists of good and sometimes bad emotions. So, what do the two have to do with each other? Simple, go golfing and you will see.

There's nothing quite like getting to your favorite track and feeling confident that today you will get the best of this course. You then proceed to tee up your first drive and smash it in the lumber yard.

"Ahh Jeez, for the love of (insert favorite religious icon)! Why do I always shank this *bleep*ing drive?" Please see Albert Einstein's definition above. Any questions?

So, we've learned that insanity is involved in being a weekend hack but, what about the relationship? This is also a complex situation. Golf is the underdog hopeless romantic that succeeds just like in those sappy romantic comedies. The good eventually outweighs the bad.

Ironically, there is more bad than good for the 50 million average golfers. Out of the 100 + strokes we take every round maybe 20-25% are close to what we wanted (this being good). The other 75-80% land where they land and we recover and bitch about it (the bad).

Where is the love? Well, you know...the one shot that will keep you coming back. And that shot is like cupid's arrow finding your rear. What we have here is a biased scale. Even though the bad out-numbers the good, it doesn't matter because the one good shot carries so much weight that we forget about the rest of the round. Insane, isn't it?

Albert Einstein must have been on to something.

Hit'em long...yell E=MC²!

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Why Golf, Why?

Ok, so I have another issue with this torture-inflicting game called golf that I love so much - our relationship. It's true, we are suckers for abuse. The worse you treat us the more difficult it is to stay away.

You know that friend you may have secretly liked but they were so wrapped up in a crappy relationship with an abusive a-hole and everybody saw it except them? Well, I'm the friend and golf is the abusive a-hole.

I went and checked out some classic signs of a bad relationship and it's just as I suspected:

• Lack of Trust - How do you trust someone (or thing) that lets you down a lot? Hey, I know I could practice more but, WTF. How about showing some love once in a while? Maybe a kick towards the fairway instead of the woods.

• Disrespect - Not treating the other person like they are important. Golf, do you know how it feels when all I do is try to take care of you and in return you do stuff like give me 10 on a par 3?

• Fear of Change - I can't change now. I've invested too much into this already, plus softball messes with my swing.

• Physical or Emotional Abuse - Do I need to go here?

But wait, there is good news! With a little help, we can develop a healthy, happy relationship with golf once again. It may take a little time but we can do it. Get back in that driver's seat and own what's yours! Who wears the knickers in this relationship...? That's right - we do!

Personally, I look to players like Phil Mickelson and John Daly for inspiration. These guys have had their share of ups and downs. They should be counselors with all the real life experience they have. If there's one thing I can take away from all of this - it's to have fun. Don't sweat the small stuff and enjoy your time together.

Hit'em long...yell FORE! Don't get whipped...

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