The Best Swing Advice I've Ever Received

One of the things this blog prides itself on is NOT telling you how to improve your game. Sure, we may highlight a product or two that we feel is useful (like those neat pocket guides from Golf Genie). But what you won't find is us telling you how to fix that hitch in your swing or how high to tee-up your ball...that's just not us.

That being said, about nine months ago I wrote a post entitled; "I Get My Swing Advice from a Guy who Doesn't Golf." The book (Golf Sense - Practical Tips On How To Play Golf In The Zone) inspired me to proclaim the following:

"Golf Sense is packed with simple ways to put you in (and keep you in) a calm and relaxed state of mind on the course (which will translate into a more relaxed swing, and subsequently lower scores)...my plan is to put [the] book to the test. Beginning in the new year, I am going to practice a few of the exercises at home. Then, once the weather gets warmer, I will move to the range and finally to the course. I'll post sometime next season about how I'm progressing."

I wrote the previous statements with all the gusto one has in the early off-season - you know, that "I can't wait to get back out there next spring" feeling. Well, an unusually long offseason (more than six months passed before I stepped out on the course again) threw me off my normal routine a bit. And when I finally did resume hacking up courses, my drive to test out some of the techniques in the book had passed.

Not to treat the book like an old girlfriend, but...it wasn't the book; it was me. Two things had happened in those six months: First, I had never missed playing in April and by May, I was putting pressure on myself to get back out there as quickly as possible. The second thing was...well, it was another book I had read (ok, maybe this is sounding a bit like a breakup).

The other book (Little Balls Big Dreams) is a novel about an average golfer who, after hitting a hole-in-one, starts playing scratch golf. Anyway, there's a chapter in the book where he attends this golf school that mentally prepares up-and-comers for the tour. In a passage at the beginning of that chapter, the group is being taught how much time it really takes to play a round of golf:

"It takes only two seconds to execute the average golf swing. 'Bout a second for the back swing and another for the downswing and follow through...Say you shoot a 70. 70 times two seconds equals 140 seconds...I'm going to teach you boys how to make the best of those 140 seconds. Take charge of them. And how to use the other three hours, fifty-seven minutes and forty seconds to channel your energy [so you can] focus your attention on those two minutes and twenty seconds."

Of all the swing advice I've been given; all that I have read - over 20 years worth...nothing has stuck with me as much as that previous passage. It just makes sense. You can do whatever you want during the rest of the round (BS with your buddies; take-in the scenery; ponder the type of beer you'll have in the 19th-hole...whatever). But for those two minutes and 20 seconds (or in my case, 3 minutes and 6 seconds) focus on nothing else but making the perfect golf shot.

And that's what I have tried to do on each and every shot this season - focus on the three minutes and six seconds that count. Hey, if I was willing to take golf advice from a guy who doesn't golf, why not take it from a fictional novel?

So, has it worked?

Simply put...Yes. Am I a scratch golfer? No. But for not golfing all that much this year, I have been playing much better than I expected. My scores are a full two-strokes down from last season and I've been hitting better shots overall. I can be BS-ing right up to the point where I take my stance. And then I try to clear my mind, focus on the shot I want to make and swing. Those are my two seconds.

Interestingly, it's not always easy to remember I should be focusing right before my swing - and when I don't, I tend to mis-hit my shot. Once I start focusing again though, my results improve. Perhaps many of you do this already, but it didn't register for me until I read the passage above.

Nothing against "Golf Sense" - it's a good book and in fact, it basically conveys much of the same advice (albeit in a more complex way). Perhaps I'll re-read it again in the future. But for now, I'm sticking with the best swing advice I've ever received.

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10 Golf Etiquette Rules Most Jackasses Ignore

I've been playing golf for over 20 years and am quite comfortable with the fact that I stink. And to be honest, I'm quite comfortable in the fact that most people I'm paired-up with also stink. I've always said: "You don't have to be good at golf to love it or play it." However, golf etiquette is another story completely and quite necessary on the golf course.

Anybody who was taught to play this game the right way knows what I'm talking about - those unspoken rules of golf that show respect to your fellow players. You know; don't step in someone's line; don't put your bag on the green; don't talk while someone is swinging; etc.

The aforementioned rules are classic and well-known. But there are other, less obvious etiquette laws that golfers ignore all the time. Below are 10 discourteous acts that many uncultivated types employ on a regular basis:

#10
Hitting on the Cart Girl
This has got to be the worst come-on ever. It's right up there with hitting on the waitress. Look, everybody knows the MOFOBETE will probably be hot - that's why she got the job in the first place. But we men inevitably devolve into gawking Cro-Magnon's and can't help but treat these girls like they're dancing on a pole instead of serving us a beer.

#9
Throwing your Clubs
I actually polled people about this in a post I wrote last year. Sure, it might be funny for the first time or two someone follows-up a wretched shot with a toss of the old club. But if that same person is constantly flinging the war sticks across the fairway, it can get annoying fast. You've heard the saying "there's no crying in baseball?" Well, there should be no temper-tantrums in golf.

#8
Talking on your Cell Phone
There's actually an entire site dedicated to cell phone behavior. In golf, unless you're waiting at the turn, there's no reason to be chatting-away while walking up the fairway. And I guarantee the conversation won't end just because it's someone's turn to hit - nope...you'll just talk softer (but not soft enough) and inevitably will end the call by saying "OK, Bye" really loudly. How about keeping the phone in your bag and on mute during the round?

#7
Texting During Someone's Swing
I know you think you're being discreet by texting instead of talking, but I can still see your stupid fingers going a mile a minute in my peripheral vision. Isn't golf hard enough without multitasking? There's no reason to: Tweet about every shot; upload course pics to your Facebook page; or checkin at the 5th hole on Foursquare. Please note the last sentence of #8.

#6
Swearing Profusely...at Yourself
It's totally cool if you want to call yourself an "asshole" after a poor shot. I get it - you're frustrated and you needed to express yourself - completely understandable. But don't go running away with it. There's absolutely no reason to carry on verbally abusing yourself over a slice you've had since the 10th grade. I mean, where is your self respect? Really, it's embarrassing - for both you and your foursome.

#5
Playing from the Wrong Tee Box
You know that pit in your stomach you get while waiting on the first hole and watching the hackers ahead of you flub all their drives? Well, I can live with that feeling...unless they are teeing-off from the back tees. There is no greater frustration than this - getting behind a bunch of clowns teeing off from the tips when it's obvious they should be playing from the forward tees. I've actually dedicated an entire post to this last year and it's perhaps one of my biggest golf-peeves. If you learn anything from this list, learn which tee-box you belong on.

#4
Excessive Use of Your GPS
Some people question if high-handicappers should own a GPS in the first place, but I'm not one of them - Even golfers who are trying to break 100 are going to benefit from knowing the exact yardage to the pin. But there comes a time when enough is enough: You don't need your GPS device on the tee-box of a par 5. And if your standing next to the 150-yard marker, you don't need to check if the course's measurements are accurate. If you're truly unsure what your distance is on your approach, by all means break-out the GPS. But using it just for the fun of it on every shot is no fun for the rest of your group (or the group behind you for that matter).

#3
Driving the Cart Like a Drunken Idiot
A good number of golfers feel like a golf cart is their own personal ATV...and most of the time alcohol is the reason for their reckless abandon. Perhaps this is why around 1,000 Americans a month are injured in golf cart accidents. Something rather juvenile overcomes people when they get behind that Plexiglas windshield. But remember - they're there as caddies, not as bumper cars.

#2
Giving Swing Advice When No One Asks for It
Who are these people and where do they come from? Every time I mention this to a fellow golfer, they agree with me: "Oh I hate that too!" But some of them must be hypocrites, because there are way too many people out on the course giving swing advice who are not qualified to do so. If you're an impromptu advice giver and are not a PGA-certified pro, please take this subtle hint: YOU'RE NOT FREAKING HELPING - YOU'RE JUST BEING AN ANNOYING PRICK!

#1
Talking about How Great you Usually Play
We all know this person: "Boy, I can't believe I just got another triple-bogey...Normally I break 80 at this course." I wanna scream at the top of my lungs; "What are you, an idiot?! We both know that's absolute bollocks!" You shouldn't even be allowed on the golf course if you're this guy. Seriously, I should be able to call in your ridiculousness along with my order on the 9th-tee. Then when we make the turn, a couple of rangers escort you to the parking lot, confiscate your clubs and send you home with a certified "never play golf again" card.

Well, now that that's off my chest, it's time for me to get out my cell phone, have a few beers, jump in a golf cart and dive like a maniac down the par 5, 11th while shouting-out swing advice to anyone within ear-shot. Happy golfing.

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What if You Could Play Every Round with a Pro?

So I'm hitting balls into the simulator at Dick's Sporting Goods a few months ago, trying to find a new driver (see story HERE). Anyway, the pro helping me (yes, Dick's hires PGA pros for their golf department) is named Ralph.

Ralph is a down-to-earth kinda guy and is completely amused that I write for a blog called Golf Stinks. After a few minutes of chatting, he begins telling me about an idea for an app he has - one where he can be (sort of) on the course giving advice to thousands of golfers all over the world at the same time.

This idea intrigued me and I told Ralph he should get busy developing said app. He agreed, I purchased my new driver and went on my merry way. Of course, I completely forgot about Ralph's app idea - until about two weeks later when I received an email from Ralph explaining he had gotten a developer and Golf Pro To Go was about to become reality.

You've gotta hand it to old Ralphie-boy. Not many people would be inspired by talking to someone who claims they stink at golf, but it appears I had some effect on Ralph to realize his dream app - and he didn't waste any time getting started.

Fast forward just a few short months and the Golf Pro To Go app is developed and on the iPhone app store - ripe for downloading at just $0.99 cents (Droid version is in development). But how does it work? Here's the deal: Golf Pro To Go asks you a series of questions, which, when answered, will explain exactly how you should play whatever shot you're faced with.

Let's say you're on the tee with the wind blowing right-to-left. There's a water hazard on the left side of the fairway and grass conditions are wet. A few taps taking less than 30 seconds will give you a text-book approach to hitting your shot: "Tee up on the left side of the tee box and aim down the right center. The right to left wind will push the ball left. With trouble to the left, choose your target far enough right to allow for the wind. Wet conditions will eliminate roll."

More complex shots are also covered (e.g. if the ball is above or below your feet or what the specific slope of the terrain is). You can also save shots - so, like me, when you're faced with the same approach (side-hill lie, from the rough) again on the next hole, you can easily tap right over and get a refresher on how to play from that position.

Sounds simple enough, but with golf, sometimes all you need is to regroup and refocus, and Golf Pro To Go helps you to do just that. Ralph is still tweaking some things though - there's no putting, chipping or trap play included in this version, but he assures me they're working on it for future versions. But for a buck, you really can't go wrong - it's worth the dollar alone just to give you a chance to breath and mentally prepare - all just by tapping through the shot you're faced with before you actually take it.

As a thank you for inspiring him to develop his idea into a reality, Ralph has agreed to give five Golf Stinks readers the app for free! Just email us HERE - first 5 to do so win!

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Golf Genie is Genius

We here at Golfstinks don't typically review golf products - in fact, we tend to poke fun at all the crazy gadgets out there. So when we post a review of something, it's because we feel it can serve some use to the average weekend golf hack.

That being said, a few weeks ago I was contacted by someone over at Golf Genie who asked me if I would be interested in receiving their product - the Tee to Green Pocket Guide. Not being able to pass up something for free, I decided to see what this pocket golf guide had to offer.

First, let me tell you this is no zany golf gadget - it's a practical, quick reference guide to pulling-off all the different golf shots you may encounter out on the course.

A few years ago, I read a tip in a golf magazine that actually helped me (I think it may have been the only time that's happened)! Anyway, Nick Faldo recommended creating a tiny spreadsheet listing all your club distances (along with your half-swing distances). Then print it out, laminate it and keep in your golf bag. You have no idea how much that little paper has helped me decide which club to use while out on the course - it was the best thing I ever did to improve my game.

First section of Golf Genie? Same thing. It shows the average distance for each club for both men and women (perfect for beginners), but then gives you space to write in your own distances (once you get those down to a science). Golf Genie then proceeds to breakdown the grip, swing, shot-making, chipping, putting and even bunker play and advanced shots - all neatly and clearly explained while using graphics to enhance your understanding.

I pointed out in a post recently one of the major problems with reading swing tips in a magazine: How are you supposed to remember all the stuff you read once you're out on the golf course? Well, Golf Genie solves this problem by packing all the swing info you'll ever need into one pocket-sized guide - each section conveniently tabbed for easy reference. What I like though is they don't try and get too fancy on you - they just show you the basics - which are usually what you need when you're a beginner or have been struggling with a slice or hook (it sort of clears your head, you know? Gets you thinking straight again - back to the basics).

OK, I know this is starting to sound like an infomercial now, but Golf Genie has already shaved a few stokes off my last round - seriously. I corrected my grip mid-round based on a diagram in the guide and subsequently my shots straightened out over the last few holes.

Golf Genie has found permanent residence in my golf bag - had I not received my copy gratis, I would have gladly forked-over the $15 for it. Even more affordable is the app version, which is only $5 on the Apple app store.

So yeah, Golfstinks typically avoids telling people how they can improve their game. I mean, it's your game, who are we to audaciously think it needs improvement? But when something affordable, practical and truly helpful actually comes along, trust us...we'll let you know.

Related Posts:
The Genius Continues: Golf Genie Practice Drills

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Me, Swing Advice and a Nervous Breakdown

You can have a nervous breakdown reading all the advice on how to play better golf. "The Easy Way to Perfect Impact!" "Stop Slicing Now!!" "Never Miss a Shot!!!" These are actual headlines taken from the last three editions of Golf Magazine (April, May and June, 2010).

In April, I'm thoroughly confused: There's photos of the pro at impact, with numbers at his shoulder, chest, grip and clubface - all corresponding to some horse race analogy where his shoulder is relabeled as "Pony #1." The objective is to have Pony #1 beat Pony numbers 2-4 (2=chest; 3=grip; 4=clubface) to the ball. This little imaginary trip to the Derby is expected to cure "The Problem" - which is explained as follows: "Your iron shots are weak. They don't fly very far, and they spin in different directions from one swing to the next." OK, if I'm spraying my iron shots all over the course at 10-yard intervals, I'm pretty sure worrying about where my shoulder is will be the least of my problems...

In May, I'm completely dumbfounded: So this one is a quick fix for a slice. It's elaborately explained that I should take my normal grip, then lift my hands to my waist, loosen my grip and rotate the club counterclockwise and finally readdress the ball with a closed face. One whole page with 5 images, complete with close-ups of the pro's grip showing arrows indicating a counterclockwise motion - all this and the end result is: Close your face. Thanks! Why not just tell me to aim left instead? I mean, it should have the same effect, no? Seriously, do they really think the people who read Golf Magazine are so new to the game that they wouldn't understand "close your face?" I guess they felt it necessary to diagram blueprints on the entire process.

In June, I'm checking myself into Trembling Hills: Never Miss a [Freaking] Golf Shot! EVER! This one is a 5-page, pull-out section consisting of 4 steps complete with 10 photos, 2 charts, 1 graph, 9 call-out boxes and a graphic instructing you to go online for videos of the entire section. Just to demonstrate how visually overwhelming this pull-out section is, I've taken a photo (see below). I should note I needed to set my camera to "panoramic" mode and take three shots in order to get the entire section (and I still left off the first page). How can I possibly ingest such an extravaganza of instruction, let alone implement said instruction the next time I'm on the links? I think the short answer is (and let's see a show of hands of those that agree with me)...you can't.


Some may not want to hear this (including some of my fellow golf bloggers), but the reality is reading how to improve my golf swing is no help to me at all. I mean, you have to hand it to these magazines - they're trying. But it's not easy to transfer what's on the page to what's reality on the course - especially these glossy articles that combine statistical info with graphics and photos. I look at these pages with a feeling of insurmountable odds...an overwhelming challenge that sucks all the fun out of the game. Sure, some may argue that golf isn't any fun when you stink. But if you want to get better, I still think the best advice is go spend money on a lesson or two from your local pro. Or, you can thoroughly enjoy the fact that you stink, like me.

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