What if the PGA Tour Went Extinct?

Remember the old philosophical question: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, would it make a sound? Well ponder this: If the PGA Tour were to disappear tomorrow, would anyone really care?

A couple years ago, I wrote about the economics of golf, and how the pro tours only contribute a measly 1% to golf's total economic impact.

So from a financial standpoint, the PGA Tour could dissolve overnight without much monetary backlash to the golf industry. The golf equipment and apparel machine would still be cranking-out merchandise to supply millions of weekend hacks throughout the world.

But for how long? With the tour defunct, wouldn't the average golfer begin to dwindle in numbers? Well, I guess that depends on how popular the tour is with the golfing masses to begin with. For example, a decade ago I would have been laughed at for even suggesting a post like this one - after all, the hero on tour was one of the most recognizable athletes in all of sports.

Ah, but today he's barley the shell of his former self and as a result, the PGA Tour has taken one giant leap back into obscurity. Perhaps more detrimental is that no one has taken his place. Want proof? Turn on ESPN any given Sunday an you'll see them lead the golf segment talking about Tiger's third-place finish, rather than the poor schlep who actually took home the trophy.

With no face to the organization and television ratings that are basically nonexistent, it makes you wonder if it's all worth the effort? Rolling into a new city every week and setting up shop on some corporate sponsor's dime (could have donated that money to build a new cancer wing at the local hospital or something); trotting out a B-list of tour pros to go through the motions in front of a sparse gallery of spectators; turning on the HD cameras that broadcast to an equally paltry television audience. One has to ask themselves: Does the ends justify the means?

Sure, if the PGA Tour were no longer, some diehard fans would be disappointed (not to mention some of our fellow golf bloggers) and local establishments near tour stops would miss the boost in sales. But the top pros would head over to the European Tour (which would subsequently be broadcast more frequently here in the U.S.) and golf life for you and me would pretty much remain unchanged.

Not many golfers I know are quitting because they stink - no sir, we just keep on playing no matter what the game throws at us. And perhaps that's the most fundamental point - We don't play this game because the PGA Tour is so great, we play it because golf is great (if anything, watching the scratch players gives us more of a complex).

So, what if the PGA Tour went extinct? As long as the European Tour added a stop at The Masters, I'd be happy. So perhaps I should re-phrase my question: If the PGA Tour went extinct, so what?

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Why I Suck at Fantasy Golf

I've played fantasy football since 1998 and I'm not too bad at it. I usually make the playoffs and the year our prize money was at its largest, I won the entire league. Needless to say, my overall winnings outweigh my overall entrance fees.

So when a golf buddy asked me to join his fantasy golf league this year, I figured why not? Anyway, there were a few advantages to his league - First; there were only 5 people in it (better odds for me to win). Second; I knew two or three of the people had never played fantasy golf before (same boat as me). And third; it was free - so what did I have to lose?

Despite never playing fantasy golf before, I figured how hard can it be? You just pick the top-ranked players every week and hope the odds pan-out. Au contraire. Turns out fantasy golf is a whole lot harder than it looks.

First of all, you can't just pick the same players every week, because in my league (Yahoo!) you can only use a player 9 times. So now I have to mix and match. The only problem with that is I have no idea who many of these players are! Stinky Golfer Chris has posted about this issue and he's right - if the media wasn't so hung up on Tiger, I may be a better fantasy golfer!

Anyway, not knowing many of the tour players, I've relied on the "expert" picks. And when you start reading-up on fantasy golf from the experts, you realize these guys are choosing players each week for a multitude of reasons. For example, they won't start a player who is hot because he historically doesn't play well at a particular course. Or even in particular weather!

Now I'm sunk. Not only do I not know many PGA Tour players, but I don't really follow the PGA Tour to begin with! How am I supposed to know how a particular player has done at a specific course? That's just too much research for me.

Oh and I'm having a hard time remembering to change-out my players too. In the NFL, players tend to play every week (unless they're injured or on bye). So if you forget to change your lineup, chances are your team will still be intact enough to give you a shot at winning anyway. But not in golf. Not every player plays every stop on tour, so if you forget to check, you can (like me this week) have no golfers from the previous week playing in the tournament this week! That translates to a big fat goose egg for my weekly score.

But there's more. In football, there's only one game a week. In golf, the tournament lasts four days. So there's an opportunity to switch starters with bench players after the first, second and third rounds. The problem is, I can never remember to do it! I'd set my lineup on Wednesday and check how I did on Monday...only to learn two of my four starters missed the cut on Friday! That led me to set a reminder on my phone for Friday night at 10 PM to make sure my starters actually make the cut for the weekend!

It doesn't matter - I have no business playing fantasy golf. Of the five that started-out in our league, only three have kept it up (myself included). And of those three, I'm last. It's pathetic. I play golf, I write about golf, I love golf. But I suck at fantasy golf. But, I signed up and I will compete till the end of the season.

Speaking of that, the summer session is about to begin - another 13 weeks of me stinking-up the fantasy golf links. Joy.

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Only You John Daly...Only You

I have to give Mr. Daly credit. He might not be the best role model for the young golfers out there but, I admire his honesty. A couple weeks back he was signing a copy of his book "My Life In And Out Of The Rough" (hmmmmm...you could also replace the word "Rough" with other stuff like "Bottle" or "Most Ridiculous Pants"). Anyway, he supposedly told a Charlotte, NC newspaper that he was happier as a miserable drunk and that he played better drunk.

Come on John, don't sugar coat it! Tell us how you really feel. He also went on to mention that he hasn't had a drink in two years and that the more he works on his game sober, the worse he gets. And he hasn't been in the top 10 in the last 4 years, to boot. Well, I guess that puts the kibosh on a possible career in motivational or public speaking when he retires from golf. Could you imagine if he was to speak at an AA meeting?

This brings me to my next issue. What's up with the threads? I'm going to chalk his wardrobe up to the booze. Oh no? You tell me...

Could these pants be symbolic? Is he going "Tiger" hunting in his red and black? Nah, you can blame Jack Daniels.


Ok...Ringling Bros. might be hiring if this golf thing doesn't pan out.


Aloha...


John Daly, you ol' motor boatin' son of a b, I didn't know you were such a fan of John Holmes?


John, please tell me this is for breast cancer awareness.

You know what John, we might bust them on you a little now and again, but in my book, you're an honest, stand-up (maybe wobbly at times but standing up nonetheless) guy. Thanks for keeping us smiling...

Hit'em long, yell FORE!

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