Holy Golf CrAPP!

Is it me or is everything slowly being taken over by an app? I recently got my paws on a new Droid cell phone and instantly hit the "App Market". What the hay, I enjoy the game of golf. Why not search for golf app's? I fire the four letter word inquiry off into that mobile virtual data bank and BAM...the anxiety and disorientation begins to set in.

I am now looking at an infinite list of golf apps with no clue as to which ones are good, cool or won't mess with my phone. I guess I could google them but that's just another set of subjective opinions and we all know the deal with that. So, I figure filtering the results to "golf GPS" would be a little easier...mmmm...not really.

"Ok, so this golf GPS app has a one star rating but it looks good and it's free!" I say to myself. "Wait, I can't have a one star app on my new Droid! My friends will laugh at me..." As idiotic as that sounds, it actually crossed my mind. It's like we'll be on the course and everyone in the foursome will vie for that Alpha golf GPS app position. You know what, if I buy that $20 GPS app I'm sure I'll be top dog of the golf GPS app kingdom.

What the f@$# am I saying!?!?!? I really don't need a golf app to show me distance when I can't make the shot even if I'm on the 100 yard marker and know it's an easy pitch all day. I got it! I'll download a golf swing app to help my swing so I can download the GPS app to know the distance so I can download a putting app to putt better. While I'm at it, I'll download the brain app so I don't have to use mine. Maybe I should have went with an iPhone. :o)

Hit'em long...yell FORE!

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The Advent of Organic Golf Courses

Twenty years ago, Whole Foods supermarket was virtually unheard of, save for a minimal portion of the population in Texas. The organic food phenomenon was just beginning to take root, and many thought it was doomed to fail.

The idea that food could be grown on a large scale without the use of pesticides or synthetic fertilizers was dismissed as hogwash. But yet these days there are nearly 300 Whole Foods markets across North America and the UK, and a growing number of consumers are seeking organic meals around the dinner table.

Like the organic food industry of two decades ago, today we're at the dawn of a new way to manage golf courses. Within the last 10 years, an increasing number of golf course managers have begun to realize that the "Augusta effect" is not only expensive, but environmentally irresponsible to boot.

As I mentioned in a previous post, overseeding, a common practice in warmer climates to keep grass green year-round, is beginning to wane. As a result, golfers in those regions are learning that brown grass doesn't necessarily mean bad grass.

But beyond overseeding, what about all the pesticides and synthetic fertilizers used to keep courses in line with our expectations? According to the Worldwatch Institute, golf courses encompass nearly 2 million acres of land in the U.S., and they collectively take-in 4 billion gallons of water a day. This water mixes with pesticides and fertilizers, which contributes to water pollution, and ultimately the health of plants, animals and humans suffer - A 1994 study of death certificates from over 600 golf course superintendents revealed unusually high numbers of deaths from specific cancers, including brain and non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.

These risks have led to a new breed of golf course: Organic. In 2002, residents of the upscale Massachusetts island of Martha's Vineyard were so afraid of water pollution from a proposed golf course, they successfully lobbied course management to operate 100% free of pesticides and synthetic fertilizers. Vineyard Golf Club (pictured at top) is perhaps the only course in the United States to not use a drop of chemicals.

But others are taking similar measures. Bear Creek Golf Course in the state of Washington only uses fungicide and fertilizer on its greens; Applewood Golf Course in Colorado uses synthetic fertilizers, but no pesticides; The Resort at Squaw Creek golf course in Lake Tahoe uses no "pesticides and only a minimal amount of organic-based fertilizer;" and Kabi Golf Course in Australia has been called the only organic course in the southern hemisphere (check out the review by our buddy Michael over at the Aussie Golfer blog HERE).

There are probably more courses like this out there, but they're not easy to find - this really is a new concept (perhaps one of the best resources is this in-depth look at golf and the environment by Golf Digest in 2008). But in a couple decades (as more courses begin weening off the chemical baths and more players begin to accept a little more brown grass) we may all have played on at least one of these organic tracks - to the benefit of both the land and ourselves.

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Golf Equals College

We've all heard the expression about the two things in life you can count on...death and taxes. Well, you can add a third to that list - the rising cost of college tuition.

It seems to make no difference what the economy does, college tuition continues to rise. The unemployment rate rises, jobs disappear, businesses close their doors...it makes no difference. College tuition rises.

According to the College Board, the average, per-year cost of a four year private college rose 4.4% for the 2009-10 academic year. And the public schools rise was an even steeper 6.5%! Now I don't know about anyone else, but I have three kids, my oldest being only six years away from college. So considering the tuition increase every year, how much is college going to cost then? How am I going to afford it? What are my options? Well, I've got one hope at least...a scholarship. Specifically, a golf scholarship.

A converstaion recently sparked up between a co-worker and I regarding our kids college tuition. Upon discussing the costs he says to me, "Why do you think I've started my kid playing golf? If he's a half-way decent player that could help get him into a school at least." So right away, the hamster in my head started running on his wheel.

I've mentioned before that my boys are pretty athletic. They're both good basketball players and this year also proved to be the stars of their baseball team. But considering the popularity of both sports at the collegiate level, a scholarship may be a bit of a stretch.

But golf? Not only is it far less popular on the collegiate level, but scholarships come from places other than the schools themselves. Several outside organizations provide scholarships as well, some not requiring kids to be one of the top golfers on their high school team - they merely require an interest to be shown in the game, or a commitment to participate in some form in the future. Hell, my oldest is showing interest in the game now! And without so much as a single lesson (he's had nothing more than a few swing tips from me of all people) he's showing some signs of excelling at golf in the same way he does baseball and basketball. With any luck at all, he can at least get a partial scholarship. Hey, every little bit helps! And this way he can get his foot in the door to a college education and take a bit of the strain off mom & dad!

During my time out of work, I interviewed at many different companies with many different people. Some were the owners of the companies at which I was interviewing. Some were management or human resources. But no matter where I was or with whom I was meeting, I noticed a strange trend. Many employers seemed to have been less interested in a college degree. Upon meeting with the owner of one company at which I was interviewing, I was asked why I didn't go further in college than I did. After I answered, his exact words to me were "I personally could care less about a college degree. As far as I'm concerned, college is bull****. It's where you go to meet people who will eventually help you find a job."

Pretty funny, and an interesting take on what I found to be a bit of a trend. But despite what I've noticed....I still prefer my kids go to college. The problem is going to be paying for it. So any edge I can find, I'm taking it.

Until that conversation with my co-worker, I didn't look at my kids playing golf as anything more than something for them and I to do together for years down the line. But now I'm looking at it a bit differently. I'm looking at golf as the means to my kids college education. I'm not going to pressure it, but I am going to encourage it.

Right now, my oldest thinks he's the next Kobe Bryant. So basketball is about the only thing on his mind as far as sports go. But as long as I can keep him interested in golf, the better he'll get and the better his chances are at getting an inside track on a college education at a discounted rate. And that friends, is music to my ears.

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World's Smallest Golf Course.

Bobby Jones once said "Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half inch course � the space between your ears."

I understand he was referring to playing on a higher level than your average golfer's weekend outing but, there is definitely something here for every golfer. I think we've stumbled upon something disproving the age old saying "Ignorance is bliss."

Do we ever stop and think that the mental game is just about as important as the physical game? I'd bet maybe 75% of average golfers say they are just out there to have fun. I get it; me too but, how much fun is it when it takes you four attempts to get on the green from five yards out? That five-and-a-half-inch course Jones talks about is a real mother-f'er.

Ah yes, using the old bean. I can only imagine the thought process that a pro golfer goes through on every shot. Then again, that's another gray area; If you think too much it's not good and if you don't think at all you may look like a jack-ass. Ultimately, I'm guessing the goal is to master that small course as best you can first.

As bad a golfer as you may be, stop and think about what you are doing out there. Learn about the game and the basic strategies. Pretty soon you will be having fun sinking birdie or eagle putts. I've realized that the game becomes more fun when I challenge the course as it does me. No matter what my end score is, I'll walk away and trully say I had fun.

Just my $0.02

Hit'em long...yell FORE!

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Why Par 3 and Executive Golf Courses Make Me Uneasy

In my post last week, I made a rather strong statement that I could be playing at either St. Andrews or some pitch n' putt somewhere and it wouldn't make much of a difference to me. I went on to explain that it doesn't matter where I play...that once I strap the old clubs on my back, my golf pilgrimage begins.

That statement was, for the most part, true. Yet of the hundreds of golf courses I've played in my lifetime, an extremely small percentage of them were of the executive or par 3 caliber. You may be wondering why. Why would this self-procliamed lover of all golf courses - a man who has played all the public 18-hole courses in his home state for the sheer fun of it (good ones and bad alike)...why would he have something against par 3 and executive courses?

I've pondered this question myself from time-to-time. And to tell you the truth, the truth hurts. You see, the reality is, I'm a bit particular...well, OK - call me anal. I'm like this about most things in my life and golf is no exception. Move a notepad on my desk and I move it back to its exact original position; when I read a book, I must read all the reviews on the inside flap, the editors note and the acknowledgments; and if you book a tee-time at a course where par is less than 69, my universe is thrown out of whack somewhat.

No par 5's?? Par for the course is 54??? How am I supposed to test out my new driver???? *BAM!* Universe out of whack, planets misaligned, etc., etc. The last time I played a "short" course (I actually had to go look this up) was July 21, 2007 - three years ago. Before that? Your guess is as good as mine.

I can tell you that three years ago I acquiesced because of my playing partners. Stinky Golfer Tom and I were playing with our dads - both of whom are in their 70s. Tom's dad had grown fond of a 9-hole, par 33 course that had recently opened up in our area and suggested we all play there.

Par 33. My mind instantly imagined windmills and a clown's mouth. Why? I knew this wasn't putt-putt golf, but I just couldn't help myself. I've turned into a golf course profiler...I should be ashamed of myself! Of course the place was great (see photo at top). And true to my post from last week - once I teed-off, I was very much enjoying myself - as if the course was much more grandiose.

But I haven't been back since. And I haven't played another par 3 or executive course since either. I know if...er, when I do again, I probably will still enjoy myself once I'm out on the course. But as far as when that will be? Hmmm, perhaps talk to me again in another three years.

So, do you find yourself avoiding par 3 and executive courses? Take the poll and let us know:

What do you think of Par 3 and Executive Courses?

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Stinky Golfer's Wives; We Do Exist

What's it like being the wife of a stinky golfer? Interesting...to say the least. I am sure by now many of you know who I am. My name is Jenn, but I may be better known as "Mrs. Stinky Golfer Chris." That's us to the left - an actual wedding photo. Am I a cool wife or what?

Just to clarify any previous statements made by my husband, it's not that I don't like golf, I just have no interest in it...at all. When Chris comes home from golf, I ask him what he shot. He'll say, "Horrible, I shot 103!" I'll say something to the effect of "Aw, that sucks." But really, I have NO idea what that means. Not even a little.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. "Wow, she shows interest even though she could care less." Here's why I really do it. Because if I act like I understand what he is saying, he won't try to explain it to me. It's not that I don't want to know, but with Chris it will turn into physics, logistics and every other type of -ics, and I'll just end up even more confused. You see, he is the guy who knows who was King in some far off never-never land that existed for like three hours and only seven people have ever heard of. I've learned the hard way, when he can answer 85% of the questions on Jeopardy, you tend to not ask for explanations.

In previous posts, Chris has let you all in on my career of sorts. Yes, he is correct, he gets awesome perks from me working overtime. When he wants new clubs, or wants to play a course, I make a call and *poof* I am the best wife EVER! But see, this is all part of my plan. I am sure many of you have seen the post regarding my purses. Well, you see, if I call and make a tee time for him, I can head off to the outlets, maybe buy a purse, spend all day with my girlfriends and be back home before he ever knows the difference.

If he shoots bad, he'll come home annoyed and throw himself on the couch to play some Call of Duty. I guess blowing up 13 year old internet junkies makes it better. If he shoots good, he comes home happy, smiles and says "Let's go out to eat!" I ask the all important question; "How'd you shoot?" He says "98!" I say "Awesome!" I'll throw in a quick "Look what I got at the outlet ..." He says "Great! Let's eat!" Now, that to me is a win-win.

In all honesty, I love that my husband golfs. He gets out there with his friends, has a good time, makes some jokes and comes home with some sort of satisfaction. I'll never be that wife that calls when he is about to tee off, asking when he will be home. I would not want him to call and nag me when I am out on my shopping spree!

Being the wife of a Stinky Golfer is awesome. I hear great stories, laugh all the time and never hear my husband complain about something he loves!

So, I would like to say, thank you Honey for liking something that makes you happy most of the time. I cannot wait until you come home from using your new fitted clubs (you're welcome) and tell me you shot an 80! I think that day I could probably get a new car out of him..., or at least new shoes!

- Jennifer Chirico

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Get A Free Golf Genie iPhone App! It's Easy & Free!

JUST 3 DAYS LEFT! The good folks over at Golf Genie have handed us a bunch of free iPhone downloads of their awesome app (a $5 value)! How can you get one?

JUST CLICK HERE

Then "like" the post about the promo on our Facebook page - it's that easy! Oh, and be sure to check out Stinky Golfer Greg's review of the Golf Genie here.

These iPhone app codes expire Thursday, so get yours today!

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Are USGA Rules Taking It Too Far?

Back in April of this year, Brian Davis- fairly new to the tour, loses his chance to win the Verizon Heritage and $400,000 because he ticked a reed during his backswing while in a hazard.

He didn't intend to touch the reed to improve his chances. And I'm pretty sure that didn't give him any advantage. Brian, sorry to see you concede your first possible victory in such a crappy way. At least you can say you came in second to Jim Furyk.

There should be a referee out there with instant replay that could make a better call than some rule taken to the highest level of anal retentiveness. Seriously, he barely nicked a dead reed...A DEAD REED! Everybody knows that contacting a dead reed in your backswing makes you play better. The best part is that if he hit it on the downswing there's no penalty. I understand moving a low hanging branch or stepping on a bush to improve your shot is a penalty but, come on!

So what if I'm in really tall grass, like heather, and in my backswing I contact a loose dead piece of heather? It impedes on my shot...it's friggin' tall grass! Normal fairway grass gives me agita* sometimes. Does that mean I get taxed 2 strokes? Great, now I have to inspect my surroundings for any loose blade of grass that could interfere with my takeaway.

Now that I think about it, I need to go back and readjust all of my scores. Better yet, I'll just start my rounds with + 8. That should cover the penalties I would incur so I don't have to explain that during my backswing somehow the O.B. marker and the rock in front of my ball got relocated roughly five feet behind me. Are we really supposed to follow the rules to that degree?

Hey, there's a way to really mess with your foursome. Keep a copy of the rule book turned to Rule 13.4 stating that it is a two stroke penalty moving a loose impediment in takeaway. I'll bet you set your buddies back a few strokes every round. I should also mention that the extra strokes added to their score will somehow correlate to the amount of strokes they administer on your face in the parking lot.

Hit'em Long...yell FORE!!

*Agita: (AH-GEE-TA) Heartburn, acid indigestion, The word is Italian-American slang derived from the Italian "agitare" meaning "to agitate."

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From St. Andrews to Bob's Pitch 'n Putt, it's Still Golf to Me

This week, golf websites everywhere are splashed with images from the game's most hollowed grounds. The site of this year's British Open is taking center-stage...perhaps more than the tournament itself.

Now I'm not saying St. Andrews doesn't deserve it - ever since the Scots hit stones down rabbit holes, the Old Course has been a monument to the game. But these days the place has become sacred.

Every year golfers make the pilgrimage to Scotland for a chance to play where the game (as far as we know) began. But think about the words we use: A pilgrimage. That's what it is, no? It's a spiritual journey; a religious experience. Let's ponder that for a second. Scotland is golf's Mecca, its Jerusalem. Compare that to your home course, which is just the local congregation.

These local places of worship consist of a plethora of courses all over the world. Some are of championship quality, while some appear better suited for grazing a herd of bison. But golf courses don't have to be legendary for you to remember them, no sir.

I'll bet not many people outside your local area have heard of the course where you scored your first ace or eagle on. But that place, that hole - it means something to you, doesn't it? The track could be a mortar range, but it's still etched into your memory like your first born.

This year, the PGA Tour has really played the historical card well - Pebble hosted the U.S. Open; St. Andrews hosted the British Open; Augusta...well, we have that every year, but you get my point.

The thing is, whether I'm playing at the center of the golf universe or at my local executive 9, it's all hallowed ground to me. The first tee jitters; the being one with nature; the whole nine yards. It doesn't matter if there's a beautiful ocean vista or if a historic tournament was played there...I mean, that would be great but, it's not necessary for me.

So, does this suggest I'm OK with playing the same course all the time? Hell no! I want to experience as many golf courses as possible! But I won't regret it if I never play Pebble or St. Andrews. You see, when I pull those clubs from my trunk and slip on the soft spikes, it doesn't matter where I am - my pilgrimage has begun.

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Off Course - The Poster-Boy For All That Is Wrong With Sports

Normally, we here at Golfstinks do our thing a little differently. We tend to approach the game of golf from a slightly different angle than most others. And today is no different.

But today, I am not going to approach the game of golf at all. Just for this one post, I want to express my opinion about something else going on in the world of sports. Rather, something that went on a few days ago.

I have come to accept the fact that most athletes, superstars especially, be it a team sport or not, are more "Me, me, me" than "Team, team, team." But never (in my opinion) in the history of professional sports was it so blatantly obvious as it was with the recent LeBron James spectacle. Being a fan of all three major sports in the U.S., I was completely and utterly disgusted by the show Lebron James has been putting on for some time now. And it all came to a head on this past Thursday night. But I don't want to put all of my disgust into only Lebron. It was much more than that.

It wasn't necessarily about greed. Latrell Sprewell (who was already making over $14 million) turning down a $27 million contract, stating that he "has a family to feed" is greed. Patrick Ewing, during an NBA lockout, asking how the owners can expect them to work for the pay they are receiving as he hops into his $100,000 Mercedes, is greed. Not LeBron. He actually took less money to play elsewhere. It's not about the money. It's a different kind of greed.

I understand players marketing themselves. I get that. When their face is on TV, they make more money. And who doesn't want more money? But again...this was different. I'll start with the man himself.

Here's a guy who is, arguably, the best player in the NBA. Personally, I don't believe he is, I just believe he has the best statistics. But he has yet to win anything. In his seven years so far, he has reached the finals once - and was swept. But year in, and year out, it's all about LeBron. And year in and year out, LeBron goes home empty-handed. The "King" has yet to wear a crown. Has he elevated the status of the Cleveland Cavaliers? Certainly! Have they become a much more respected franchise? Absolutely! But does that give him the right to string them along like he did? Does that give him the right to string along the people who have supported him from game 1...the always forgotten fans?

The Cavaliers have given LeBron everything he wanted. He was paid huge amounts of money. His image plastered all over the city. He wanted different players on his teams roster, and ownership went and got them. What LeBron wanted, Lebron got. But he still couldn't get the job done. So what does he do? He parades teams in to present offers. He sets up a 1 hour TV special to showcase his decision. And he accepts the offer made by the team that will make it the easiest for him to win. And he made this decision, admittedly, without having the common courtesy to let his former team in on his decision. Don't you think that would have been the decent thing to do? At the very least, a phone call. I can't imagine a bigger slap in the face to the team that did everything for him. I'm sorry LeBron...but Michael Jordan didn't need a TV special. Kobe Bryant didn't need a TV special. And those two have actually won something. Carlos Boozer signed in Chicago, no TV special. Joe Johnson resigned with the Hawks, no TV special. Dirk Nowitzki resigned with Dallas, no TV special. Amare Stoudemire signed with the Knicks, no TV special. Chris Bosh signed with the Heat..., well...no direct TV special.

But as I mentioned, it's not only LeBron. How about ESPN's role in this. I mean really...was a 1-hour special necessary? I'll admit, I tuned in until he said where he's going. Then I changed the channel. That's all I needed to hear. Here's a message for ESPN - "I don't want to hear LeBron's feelings. I could care less. I want to watch a game! Put on a friggin' game!" I know I am not alone when I say ESPN, intentionally or not, has helped to create the "I in team" thinking. We watch basketball highlights and all we see are dunks and threes. We watch baseball highlights and all we see are home runs and spectacular catches. We watch golf highlights and all we see is Tiger Woods. And the golf highlights are the worst! Its Tiger, Tiger, Tiger, and..."oh, by the way, so-and-so is winning...Tiger is five back of the leader." According to ESPN, if Tiger is playing, then no one else is even worth mentioning until they have to be mentioned!

ESPN sucks up to the athletes. There, I said it. They can't give serious sports news or an objective opinion because they are in bed with too many athletes. It's that simple. And this LeBron James special proves it. This was not ESPN looking for an exclusive interview. This was LeBron and his representatives coming to ESPN with this idea. And ESPN, looking for ratings, soaked it up. This is a disappointing all-time low for ESPN. But wait, I have one more...

I have lost all respect for Jim Gray. How can I, or anyone, ever take him seriously again. For Jim Gray to agree to be just a pawn in this spectacle should be an outrage to anyone who considers themselves to be a good journalist. There was one question on everyone's mind...and Jim Gray loaded us with a bunch of fluff, filler and outright crap before he got to it. "How's your summer?" Are you serious?! "How's your summer?" is one of your questions?! I swear if I ever see that putz on my TV again, I am instantly changing the channel. I don't care if he's interviewing one of my family members...they can fill me in later. This was worse than when the Yankees were telling the YES network's Kimberly Jones which questions to ask Joe Torre during her interviews. It was just pathetic.

I know what LeBron James was trying to do. But it seriously backfired. The only people right now who probably don't believe that, are Miami Heat fans and LeBron fans who believe he can do no wrong. Everyone else, sports purists especially, are looking at Lebron James as selfish, narcissistic, back-stabbing, and a coward. Me included. And it's too bad because I like LeBron. But after all this, I'm just sick of him. He comes across as a player who feels he is bigger than everyone and everything else. At this point, I don't want to see him win a championship. I hope Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert is right. I hope they do win a championship before LeBron does. As long as it's not against my Lakers, then it's OK with me.

In my opinion, LeBron James came out of this event representing almost everything that is wrong with sports and athletes today. There is no two-ways about it. He looked bad. Plain and simple. He looked bad. People will say that once he wins a championship, all will be forgotten. Well, try telling that to people in Cleveland.

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Records, Shmecords...Cut Me My Check.

In what other sport can you have a record of 2-13 and get paid for not winning? Just ask Ernie Els; the #1 ranked golfer on the money list.

As Henry Hill had put it in the movie "Goodfellas"; "Business bad? F#@$ you pay me!" Golfing bad? You got it, pay me. You know, "bad" might not be the right word. He is on the tour. So maybe "Golfing and not winning all the time?" but you get the point?

Just think about how great a system that is. It's almost like: Hey, we know you haven't won a major yet so here's a way to be ranked and noticed. PLEASE NOTE: In no way, shape or form am I taking away from Els. He's one of my favorites along with Lefty, who is #2 in the world and #2 on the Money List.

Could you imagine if top MLB pitchers like Johan Santana, Cliff Lee or Josh Johnson were to have a record of 2-13. Would you expect any bonuses coming their way? Maybe a surprise - a set of keys to a new Porsche in his locker from his agent? Probably not. They would be seeking help medically, mentally or even from a witch doctor deep in the Congo to get them out of that slump.

From a marketing standpoint, a money list is another great way to feature and give recognition to great golfers that may not be winning all the tourneys but are placing in the top 10 fairly consistently. Should this actually be the list that proves who is number one in the world? Last time I checked, Tiger was #1 in the world and Els was #6. I guess the world rankings use your current and previous year to give you a ranking. So, if you were #1 last year and haven't really played much this year, you can still be #1...hmmmm.

The next thing these top money earners have to do is is play in more events. That's my only request for these guys. I understand you have families and have to spend time with them, but you are a pro tour golfer and role model. One or two extra tourneys a year wouldn't hurt.

Just my $0.02...hit'em long, yell FORE!!!

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