Golf...An Athlete's Game?

What the hell does this mean? Well the more I play, or should I say "suck at" golf, the more I realize that this game requires a multitude of athletic skills, with each skill drawing from a different sport. I believe the worse you are at golf the more you develop as an all around athlete.

How is this so? Let me explain. You see, besides the swinging of the clubs, golf offers us many opportunities to engage in other sports. For example, let's take track and field, more specifically - the hammer throw. You can probably see where this is going. The hammer throw is pretty much launching the hammer* as far as possible. Just like when you screw up that 50 yard chip onto the green after smashing a 300+ yard drive - you launch your club as far as the eye can see.

Let's look at another sport - soccer. When your ball is stuck behind an obstacle impeding on your next shot what do you do? Some of us hacks find ourselves summoning the fancy footwork of soccer great, Pele. Don't give me that "Well, I chip out to the fairway" crap! You use the ol' toe iron and get on with it. GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAL!

All joking aside, golf season is just about in full swing across the country. Let's enjoy the fact that we can get out there and play! This week has been pretty crazy and made me stop and think about what how lucky I am to have the opportunity to golf.

Hit'em long...yell FORE!!

* hammer throw is an athletic throwing event where the object is to throw a heavy metal ball attached to a wire and handle. The name "hammer throw" is derived from older competitions where an actual sledge hammer was thrown. Such competitions are still part of the Scottish Highland Games, where the implement used is a steel or lead weight at the end of a cane handle.

Read more »

Golf Stinks: Los Golfistas Perezoso

I've played golf pretty consistently over the last 20 years and to that end, I should be rather ashamed of myself thus far in 2011.

The truth is, I haven't played once yet this year. Back when I was on my quest to play every public 18-hole golf course in my state (more on that in a future post), I would keep a schedule that began in early April and ended in late October.

It wasn't that rigorous of a schedule (an 18-hole round every other weekend for seven straight months) but if I missed one, I would have to make it up the next month or I wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

After my quest was completed, things started to become disorganized (or what most of you may consider "normal"). Gaps in my schedule would go unfilled, until the schedules disappeared completely two seasons ago (ironically the same year I began writing for this blog).

But in all my golfing years, I always found time to at least play once in April! Not this year. For God's sake, Cinco de Mayo is tomorrow and I haven't stepped one foot on a tee-box, fairway or green.

Anyway, I recently became seriously concerned about my laziness toward golf this season. When would I play? After all, I have commitments to uphold - namely to the folks that read this blog. Firstly, I promised I would begin applying some of the techniques I read in the book Golf Sense. And then there's the fact that I probably should be playing the sport I write about.

I guess I can make excuses for my not playing yet. After all, life happens. There's family and work and chores that take precedence. I have a 6-month old who I'm wanting to dedicate more and more of my time to...and then there's the freaking yard. Mowing, trimming, weeding, planting - they don't tell you when you buy a house that it's the yard that will really do you in.

But I'm not the only one who hasn't hit the links yet...

Nope - None of my fellow stinky golfers have played yet this year either. In fact, the only one of us that has done anything remotely outdoorsy was when Stinky Golfer Chris went fishing. You mine as well call us "The Lazy Golfers."

But it's not like the desire to play is gone. We've all been chomping at the bit to get out there for the last 6 months! We just haven't. Hopefully I'll get out there soon. But in the meantime, if anyone lives in or is traveling through Connecticut, please stop by and smack some sense into me - If I don't get out there soon, I may actually forget how bad I am at this game.

Read more »

Finally...Golfing Weather! So Why Wasn't I Golfing?

Mid- to upper 60's, a bit of a breeze, only a few clouds to be seen...this is fantastic golfing weather! There have been several nice days so far this year, just not on a weekend. So what more could I possibly ask for? This is the perfect day to hit the links for the first time this year.

But I didn't. Instead, my boys and I hopped in the car this morning and made our way to the bait shop. We grabbed a couple dozen night crawlers, headed out to a nice lake and proceeded to spend the next few hours casting our lines into the water hoping to reel in a good fish tale.

But I have to ask myself...is there something wrong with me? What I mean is, I have waited all winter for a weekend day like this one to get out on the golf course. And when this day finally comes...I go fishing instead! I guess the easiest way for me to explain it is that I have a connection with fishing that I don't have with golf.

You see, I began playing golf only about thirteen or fourteen years ago. But fishing? I can't even remember when I began going. Despite living practically around the corner from a golf course as a kid, it never really called out to me as much as the lake hidden back in the woods across the street. I can't begin to explain how many days my friends and I would spend back there, for hours on end, pulling out bass, trout, perch and catfish. It's a connection with my childhood that I don't want to lose. Golf will never have that connection for me since I took it up much later in life.

But fishing isn't something I get to do very often anymore due to hectic schedules, kids playing sports and my newer summertime love...golf. But every once in a while, I have to take the time to get back to my childhood. And then, golf has to take a backseat. It helps that my kids enjoy it also. They were as excited to go as I was.

People ask me how I can fish for hours, possibly not catch a thing, and not get bored out of my mind. The answer is, I have no idea. The connection with my youth? The potential to catch "the big one?" Just spending time outside, relaxing at a nice place on a nice day? Maybe it's a little bit of all those things. But, in some ways, I can equate fishing to golf. But none better than this...

While sitting on some rocks on the side of the lake, a ranger (we were at a state park) comes by and asks my boys how they were doing. My oldest responded "OK, we haven't caught anything yet." The ranger then responds "That's OK. It's a nice day and you're outside. What's better than that?" After the brutal winter we have just come through...he's right...what could be better?

Swing (or cast) 'til you're happy!

Read more »

Golf: A Royal And Ancient Mess

With the marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton today, the whole relationship thing was on my mind. As long as there have been relationships, there has also been something to screw them up. That being said, why does it seem like golf is associated with one of those things?

Whenever I want to golf, there's an issue. I'll bet that if I just lay on the couch all morning there wouldn't be a problem. As soon as I say I'm going golfing...world war III erupts and the garage needs to be organized. Wait a minute, laying on the couch is a viable reason to NOT do work around the house?

So, is there really an underlying reason why golf is a catalyst for quarreling? Maybe it's not just the actual golfing that's a problem. Could it be the extra-curricular activities after the round that ruffle the feathers? After some self-analysis I've come to the much researched conclusion that sand traps are like bars...rarely do I get out after one shot.

Now, I'm pretty sure there's a few golfers that get stuck at their local "sand trap" but, in my case there are potential dangers. This could lead to coming home late, which leads to friction and problems on the home front, which could possibly lead to an unfortunate result - the ol' split up. Golf is already an expensive sport, who would have thought it could drain you for half your net worth too?

Looking at this on a grand scale, we can use Tiger Woods, Ernie Els, Boo Weekley and Mark Calcavecchia as examples. They shelled-out a lot of dough to their ex's. All I'm saying is, don't be statistic and take a second to analyze your situations...Do the right thing.

Hit'em long...yell FORE!!!

Read more »

Golf and the Environment...Enough Already!

Dear golfers of the world,

Haven't we heard enough about eco-this and eco-that? The tree-huggers already have a day dedicated to the well-being of the planet: Earth Day...and it was last Friday - I think we're good till next year, no?

It's bad enough Al Gore is running around like Chicken Little yelling the sky is falling, but now the "green" movement is encroaching on our golf games to boot.

First the environmentalists complained that golf courses messed up the local wildlife (big deal - it's not like the golf industry is BP). Then they observed that it takes a ton of water to keep a course green...not to mention a ton of chemicals (so there's a little chemical run-off - who drinks out of a stream anymore anyway)? I mean, what's next - outrage over the billions and billions of lost golf balls littering the planet? The gas used in our carts? The trees chopped to accommodate an additional 18 holes?

Don't even get me started on all the "eco-golf" websites out there: Places like Turfhugger, Golf & Environment and...of all sites to jump on the bandwagon; Golf Stinks...with posts HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE - about...yep, you guessed it...Golf and the freaking environment. When will it end?

Well, it appears no time soon. If the aforementioned wasn't eco-nauseous enough, the hippies over at Golf Refugees have developed "a set of environmental golf rules." Apparently, they feel they have the cojones large enough to petition the the USGA and R&A to alter the Rules of Golf to accommodate their new eco-rules - what silliness!

I'm so sick of hearing that golf is made up of a bunch of rich fat cats that don't care about the environmental impacts of the game they love. I say the exact opposite is true: We've taken what was once useless wilderness and turned it into something for everyone to use (well, that is...everyone that has the prim and properness to wear chinos and a collared shirt; frivolously spend on the latest golf balls, shoes and gloves; fork over a small fortune on greens fees; spend hundreds - in some cases thousands - on a decent set of golf clubs; and have a car to put it all in...preferably something with 8 cylinders that comfortably fits 7).

So please don't let all this eco-hype fool you. Golf courses are doing nothing wrong and there's no such thing as global warming. Just go about your business as usual and I hope to see you all at your local course this weekend (just ignore those yellow "caution pesticide application" signs on each tee-box - they're totally hog wash)!

Sincerely,
The Traditional Golf Industry

Author's Note: Unless your head's completely up your ass, you've realized this post is nothing but satire. That being said, it's time the powers that be in the golf industry get their heads out of their asses.

If we want our kids and our grand kids to enjoy this game, we need to make some changes ASAP. The guys over at Golf Refugees are on to something with their eco-rules - it's a lofty goal, but a necessary one. And if we can't change the rules immediately, how about an eco-tournament on the pro-tour? Just one tour stop a year where there's an eco-centric theme (perhaps it's played on a course that doesn't use pesticides).

Many people point to golf as a sport that's detrimental to the environment. Let's change that. God knows, this game can use all the help it can get.

Read more »

Golf Ball Technology Improves Your Gas Mileage!

I don't know about anywhere else in the country, but here in CT, I paid $4.03 for a gallon of gas a few days ago. And by the time you read this post I'll be filling up again for, if I'm lucky, $4.11. $4.11 a gallon!!

It's partially my fault for driving the type of car I drive. But I can't help it. I like driving a sports car. Just for the sheer enjoyment a sports car brings me, I'm willing to make a sacrifice...such as getting only 18 or 19 mpg's. But with these gas prices, I wonder how much longer I can go without taking drastic measures.

Get rid of my car? No way! Not unless it's to upgrade to something even faster and more aggressive..but that normally equals even worse gas mileage. I suppose I could look for something a little more efficient...but don't even speak to me about a hybrid! I'm certainly not ready to go that route. But thanks to the MythBusters, there may be a solution!

Pictured above is what was a relatively pedestrian Ford Taurus. Until the MythBusters got hold of it that is. It then became, well, one hell of a drive!

The question was, could the effect dimples have on a golf ball be the same on an automobile? Leave it to the MythBusters to find out! And find out they did...That Ford Taurus pictured above, when coated in a smooth coat of clay, achieved a respectable 26 MPG. However, when golf ball dimples were carved into the outer layer of clay, that MPG rating certainly did change, increasing to 29 MPG! So all I have to do is get myself some clay, use a little bit of golf ball technology and BAM! I get to have all the exhilaration I normally have in my daily commute, and actually increase my gas mileage!

Of course, this episode does beg the question, when will we see the Titleist edition of a Buick? Or the Cadillac Taylor Made Series?

You can get a look at the segment of the MythBusters episode here.

Swing 'til you're happy!

Read more »

Golf by the Numbers

What really fuels the golf market and keeps courses up and running? Pro's? Scratch golfers? Avid golfers? The answer is quite simple - the average or moderate golfer. If there are 27 million or so golfer's in the U.S. and less than 1% are pro or scratch golfers, count them out.

Ironically, a lot of pro's who can afford the game rarely pay for it or get great deals. As for avid golfers (25+ rounds per year), they only account for roughly 3-5% of the market, which leaves the average and beginners (less than 7 rounds per year).

The average golfer is statistically a mid to upper-mid working class person playing around 20 rounds a year. Funny thing is if it wasn't for this demographic, 80% of golf courses would probably shut their doors. Here's a reality check: average golfers use more golf balls, period. They or we go through 3-5 balls (or more) a round.

Let's do the math; say an average golf ball costs $1.00 times 4 balls a round times 20 rounds a year. That comes out to $80 dollars in golf balls per average golfer per season. Now multiply that times the roughly 20 million average golfers and there you have 1.6 billion dollars spent a year on golf balls. Sounds crazy, huh...how about those greens fees?

These numbers represent a driving but unheard voice in the golf community. We can take these stats and apply them to other commodities in the golf industry like clubs, apparel and accessories and get a good idea of the revenue we spill into this game we love.

What's in store for the future? I guess only time will tell...but as long as average golfers keep losing balls on the course, the golf economy will continue to drive forward...

Hit'em long...yell FORE!!! Love your balls.

Read more »

10 Golf Etiquette Rules Most Jackasses Ignore

I've been playing golf for over 20 years and am quite comfortable with the fact that I stink. And to be honest, I'm quite comfortable in the fact that most people I'm paired-up with also stink. I've always said: "You don't have to be good at golf to love it or play it." However, golf etiquette is another story completely and quite necessary on the golf course.

Anybody who was taught to play this game the right way knows what I'm talking about - those unspoken rules of golf that show respect to your fellow players. You know; don't step in someone's line; don't put your bag on the green; don't talk while someone is swinging; etc.

The aforementioned rules are classic and well-known. But there are other, less obvious etiquette laws that golfers ignore all the time. Below are 10 discourteous acts that many uncultivated types employ on a regular basis:

#10
Hitting on the Cart Girl
This has got to be the worst come-on ever. It's right up there with hitting on the waitress. Look, everybody knows the MOFOBETE will probably be hot - that's why she got the job in the first place. But we men inevitably devolve into gawking Cro-Magnon's and can't help but treat these girls like they're dancing on a pole instead of serving us a beer.

#9
Throwing your Clubs
I actually polled people about this in a post I wrote last year. Sure, it might be funny for the first time or two someone follows-up a wretched shot with a toss of the old club. But if that same person is constantly flinging the war sticks across the fairway, it can get annoying fast. You've heard the saying "there's no crying in baseball?" Well, there should be no temper-tantrums in golf.

#8
Talking on your Cell Phone
There's actually an entire site dedicated to cell phone behavior. In golf, unless you're waiting at the turn, there's no reason to be chatting-away while walking up the fairway. And I guarantee the conversation won't end just because it's someone's turn to hit - nope...you'll just talk softer (but not soft enough) and inevitably will end the call by saying "OK, Bye" really loudly. How about keeping the phone in your bag and on mute during the round?

#7
Texting During Someone's Swing
I know you think you're being discreet by texting instead of talking, but I can still see your stupid fingers going a mile a minute in my peripheral vision. Isn't golf hard enough without multitasking? There's no reason to: Tweet about every shot; upload course pics to your Facebook page; or checkin at the 5th hole on Foursquare. Please note the last sentence of #8.

#6
Swearing Profusely...at Yourself
It's totally cool if you want to call yourself an "asshole" after a poor shot. I get it - you're frustrated and you needed to express yourself - completely understandable. But don't go running away with it. There's absolutely no reason to carry on verbally abusing yourself over a slice you've had since the 10th grade. I mean, where is your self respect? Really, it's embarrassing - for both you and your foursome.

#5
Playing from the Wrong Tee Box
You know that pit in your stomach you get while waiting on the first hole and watching the hackers ahead of you flub all their drives? Well, I can live with that feeling...unless they are teeing-off from the back tees. There is no greater frustration than this - getting behind a bunch of clowns teeing off from the tips when it's obvious they should be playing from the forward tees. I've actually dedicated an entire post to this last year and it's perhaps one of my biggest golf-peeves. If you learn anything from this list, learn which tee-box you belong on.

#4
Excessive Use of Your GPS
Some people question if high-handicappers should own a GPS in the first place, but I'm not one of them - Even golfers who are trying to break 100 are going to benefit from knowing the exact yardage to the pin. But there comes a time when enough is enough: You don't need your GPS device on the tee-box of a par 5. And if your standing next to the 150-yard marker, you don't need to check if the course's measurements are accurate. If you're truly unsure what your distance is on your approach, by all means break-out the GPS. But using it just for the fun of it on every shot is no fun for the rest of your group (or the group behind you for that matter).

#3
Driving the Cart Like a Drunken Idiot
A good number of golfers feel like a golf cart is their own personal ATV...and most of the time alcohol is the reason for their reckless abandon. Perhaps this is why around 1,000 Americans a month are injured in golf cart accidents. Something rather juvenile overcomes people when they get behind that Plexiglas windshield. But remember - they're there as caddies, not as bumper cars.

#2
Giving Swing Advice When No One Asks for It
Who are these people and where do they come from? Every time I mention this to a fellow golfer, they agree with me: "Oh I hate that too!" But some of them must be hypocrites, because there are way too many people out on the course giving swing advice who are not qualified to do so. If you're an impromptu advice giver and are not a PGA-certified pro, please take this subtle hint: YOU'RE NOT FREAKING HELPING - YOU'RE JUST BEING AN ANNOYING PRICK!

#1
Talking about How Great you Usually Play
We all know this person: "Boy, I can't believe I just got another triple-bogey...Normally I break 80 at this course." I wanna scream at the top of my lungs; "What are you, an idiot?! We both know that's absolute bollocks!" You shouldn't even be allowed on the golf course if you're this guy. Seriously, I should be able to call in your ridiculousness along with my order on the 9th-tee. Then when we make the turn, a couple of rangers escort you to the parking lot, confiscate your clubs and send you home with a certified "never play golf again" card.

Well, now that that's off my chest, it's time for me to get out my cell phone, have a few beers, jump in a golf cart and dive like a maniac down the par 5, 11th while shouting-out swing advice to anyone within ear-shot. Happy golfing.

Read more »

Fueling A Passion For Golf

I'm a pretty big sports fan. Always have been. Although I was too young to remember, my mother tells me how my father would keep me up at night as a toddler to watch Monday Night Football. It probably dates back to those days, but ever since, I've been a huge football fan.

It was my father who really introduced me to sports. My first pro football game was with my dad and two of my friends. The first pro baseball game I attended was a Mets-Cardinals game, also with my dad, as well as my uncle and a neighbor of his. Even my first pro basketball experience, a Knicks playoff game, was with my dad and two of his work buddies.

I've tried to do the same with my boys. I've taken them to their first pro baseball game as well as their first pro basketball game. We're still working on football and a PGA Tour event is also on the horizon. I've found that a father-son connection helps create a love, or passion, for sports in general. But along the way, I've also discovered something else that has fueled my passion for sports...memorabilia.

Sports memorabilia helps keep me connected with my youth. When I first started collecting memorabilia, I did it strictly for monetary reasons. All I could think of was how, years from now, I'd be able to cash in on my acquisitions. However, as time went on, I started to realize my collection meant more to me than dollar signs. I began to realize how the thousands of sports cards, hundreds of autographs and various pieces of sports history brought me back to a time when I didn't see sports as a business. It brings me back to the days when I would come home from work at night to find my father in front of the TV watching a ball game, waiting for me to join him. It reminds me of those games I attended with my dad.

I wonder if this is a reason I don't have this same passion for golf or golf memorabilia. My father played golf a few times...found he didn't care for the game...and promptly retired his clubs. Therefore, I wasn't introduced to the game until my fellow stinky golfers lured me in roughly twelve or thirteen years ago. Had I been introduced at a younger age, I may view the game differently than I do.

Now, years later, I've gotten my boys interested in football, basketball, baseball...and somewhat, golf. I've seen this done by having me pass along my passion for the sports. However, they have seen my collection of memorabilia and have begun to show interest just as I did, and right around the same age. Maybe that's the secret.

So maybe it's time I start looking into some golf memorabilia for the boys. Then again, maybe it's time I start looking into it for myself as well. After all, I haven't completely ruled out financial gain...

Swing 'til you're happy!

Read more »

POLL: U.S. Open...Public or Private?

Fellow Americans, is this not land of the free? So, why is this years U.S. Open being held at a private course? I understand it's at the Congressional Country Club in Bethesda but that doesn't make it any better. In fact it makes it worse. Let me break this down...

Last time I checked "U.S." meant the United States, our country. This should be our tournament. In the past they have held it at municipal courses and that's the way it should be.

Diving deeper into this I realized that hosting tournaments at muni's gives the game of golf such a unique position in the world of sports. What other sport allows regular old hacks, such as you and I, to play where the pro's play. I really don't see the Yankees letting the ol' local Bronx beer league have their Thursday night softball games there. Never in a million years plus the beer can pyramid on top of the dugout might not bode well.

I think a lot of golfers would enjoy playing where their favorite golfer has played. I know I would. Not to mention it would probably attract more golfers and help out the declining golf market. According to the National Golf Foundation (NGF), they found that 37% of public courses have had to lower their course maintenance standards, and 71% have had to defer capital improvements in recent years due to financial considerations.* In a nutshell this means the courses are not kept as well as they should be...damn recession.

So what do you think?

Where should the US Open be played?

*Click here for the NGF story

Read more »

My Balls are Freezing

So my father-in-law was visiting from out of state a couple of weeks ago. One of the days during his stay, I began explaining some of the things I do to prepare for the start of the golf season (keep in mind this is a man who's never played golf in his life).

In the middle of this conversation, he walked over to my refrigerator, opened the freezer and began looking inside. After staring at him for a few moments (wondering if my golf talk was boring him), I asked if he needed something. Here was his reply:

"No, I was just looking for your golf balls."

WTF?

Me: "Pop, why would I keep my golf balls in the freezer?"

Him: "Well, I've always heard if you freeze your golf balls, they go farther. So I assumed all golfers froze their balls."

Just then my wife came in the kitchen and our conversation about frozen balls ended. But for the rest of the day, I couldn't shake the notion of golfers everywhere (save for me) having an unfair advantage all these years because they've been freezing their balls.

That night, I decided to do a little research on this frozen ball theory. Turns out, my father-in-law isn't the only one who had heard of this little trick. A Google search returned many people asking the same question: "Does freezing your golf balls make them go farther?"

Man, what people will go through to add a few extra yards to their drives. And with such an easy solution (after all, most of us have freezers), it's no wonder so many were interested in if this trick was fact or fiction.

I'm not sure how many of you have heard about freezing golf balls, but my research has led me to believe this is pure fantasy. In fact, studies have shown the exact opposite is true: Cold balls will actually travel a shorter distance (on average) than warm balls! Check out the video below from FSN Sports Science:



So I guess freezing your golf balls isn't a good idea. But what about freezing your golf clubs? Sound ridiculous? Well, don't say that to cryogenic expert and founder of the Cryogenic Institute of New England, Robin A. Rhodes:

Using a process called Nitrofreeze Cryogenic Tempering, Rhodes deep-freezes golf clubs at 300 degrees below zero inside a 24-cubic foot chamber in his Cryogenic Institute of New England office at 60 Prescott St. Deep-freezing of metals, a process first used by NASA in the 1960s, changes their microstructure, relieving stresses and producing a more consistent and uniform material, Rhodes said. As a result, the company claims that golfers get a better feel, less shaft twist for improved accuracy, a larger sweet spot and more distance.

The price tag to give your set of clubs a deep freeze? $230. Hey, it's a small price to pay for adding some distance and feel (I just don't want to know what late, great actor my clubs were cryogenically frozen next to)! You can read the full article HERE.

Read more »