Could The Future of Golf Rely On Video Games?

I grew up playing video games.  I distinctly remember me and my friends from the neighborhood gathering at each others houses to play Atari, Intellivision and Coleco as soon as one of us got a new game.  I remember the craze when Nintendo first hit stores, and I remember being the first of my friends to have it.  It was like Christmas for everyone in my neighborhood! 

All these years later, things aren't so different.  I still play games myself sometimes, although my Playstation 3 is used equally as much by me for Netflix and Blu-Ray movies.  But my kids...that's another story.

They love the video games just as much as I did when I was a kid.  I have three different gaming systems in my house right now, not including anything portable.  Seems silly, right?  Well, not really.  Each of them serves a bit of a different purpose.  Besides a game system, my PS3, as mentioned earlier, is a Blu-Ray player and Netflix streamer.  The Wii is for the more "active" games and is probably the most fun of the three systems.  The XBox 360 is pretty much strictly for gaming.  But I'll tell you what else the games are - the Wii specifically, was used as a tool to get my boys interested in the game of golf.

People freak out and think that video games have a negative effect on kids.  Many people feel if kids see violence in a game, they're going to think violence is OK in real life.  Well, I'm not saying these people are wrong, but if your kids play Grand Theft Auto for a few hours, then go out and steal a car and beat up a hooker...sorry, but it's not the game.  You're failing as a parent.  You've got bigger problems than video games. 

Me, I've used my Wii to influence my kids.  No, I didn't buy Call of Duty so I can get them to buy guns...although, it seems to have influenced me a bit.  Rather, it started out with Wii Sports (a "sampler" game that comes with the Wii).  Included in this game is a cartoon-like 9-hole golf course.  But the idea that you use the controller as a club is what intrigued my kids, as well as myself which is why I bought the system to begin with.  And guess what...it helped!   

My boys had no interest at all in watching golf on TV.  And even though I play golf, they didn't really seem to share my interest.  That is, until they swung the controller on the Wii.  Somehow, that seemed to open the door.  Next thing you know, they want to go to a real driving range.  Soon after, my oldest uses his birthday money to buy a starter set of clubs.  The next season, we're out on the course.  Now, my youngest boy is interested in buying his own set of clubs!  And I have to say, a golf video game is partially responsible for this.

So what could this mean for the future of this sport?  Could golf video games help influence kids to pick up a real driver rather than just a virtual one?  Should the USGA or PGA take this into consideration and do more to work these games into the sports promotion?  I don't have any real proof or statistics to show that a video game can influence this behavior, but I do know of two instances when it has.

Now it remains to be seen if golf does continue to hold my boys interest.  For now, basketball is still first on the list for both, as well as baseball for one and soccer for the other.  But the golf seed has been planted.  And if it's true that video games do have this "effect" on kids, then why not use it to your advantage rather than just complain about it?  Get them influenced by something positive rather than some "shoot 'em up" game.  You never know, you may end up with a future playing partner for years to come!

Swing 'til you're happy, even if it's with a virtual club!          

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Oh No! I've Lost My Golf Hook-Up!

Doesn't everyone just love that guy/girl that's got your hook-up? You know, the one who can get you something from somewhere for free or cheap? Maybe it was something that...ah-ahem..."Fell off a truck." Or, when you ask where they came across this particular product, the response is "Don't worry about it...I got a guy." Who can't appreciate that?

When I was a kid, it was a few friends who worked at McDonald's, Dairy Queen and Dunkin' Donuts. As I got older, it turned into a buddy who was a mechanic. My wife even managed to find someone who just happens to come across inexpensive televisions. Nice! And speaking of my wife, I was even lucky enough to befriend a jeweler years ago. Boy I'll tell ya, you don't realize how badly you're getting screwed by a jewelry store until you bring them a diamond ring you purchased from a private jeweler and they tell you they would price it at almost three times what you paid! Now that's a hook-up!

But speaking of my wife, I'm not ashamed to say that I had been using her as a hook-up also. Thanks to her job in the golf industry, I've played golf courses for a fraction of the regular cost as well as purchased my custom-fit clubs for about half of what it would normally cost. However, that all appears to be gone now. In a move that, for several reasons had to be made, my wife quit her job in the industry and has decided to turn her part-time photography business into her full-time work.

While I of course wish her the best, I will certainly miss the hook-up aspect of the previous job. See, I didn't play a whole heck of a lot of golf this year. And of the few times I did manage to get out and play, it was at the benefit of my wife's hookups. So what am I going to do without her?

Of course, her new pursuit has already found me someone who has done my brakes for a great price. It's also found me an electronics repair guy who can hopefully save me a few bucks as well. Both are great hookups, but it's still not golf.

I'm worried that without the "hook-up motivation" I may not be out on the course any more next season than I was this one. So I guess we'll have to see what the off-season brings. You never know, maybe photography will bring her in contact with someone else in the golf industry that can help me out. But if not, as long as my wife is happy with her decision, I'll settle for brakes and MP3 players.

Swing 'til you're happy!

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"Are You Kidding, I Play For Fun!"

The words above were the actual words spoken by a guy I work with during our last conversation about golf. Such a simple statement, but yet so appropriate for the stinky golfer attitude. And it's funny because I thought I was a stinky golfer. But my co-worker has got me beat.

Now this guy, he's a married father of two. Monday-Friday are wrapped up in a relatively demanding job. His weekends are pretty much occupied by his wife and kids. Free time for him, apparently, is a rarity. So when he gets the chance to play golf, it's a luxury. It's a treat. It's his fun time, and he plans on having some fun!

He pretty much summed it up for me in that recent conversation. I was talking about the new golf shoes I had purchased, or more specifically, the reason I purchased them. "My shoes were terrible" I said. "My feet would be hurting by the 11th or 12th hole." He gave me a look that I can only describe as confused astonishment. "You walk when you play?" he said to me. I said that I try to as much as I can because it's good exercise. His response? "Are you kidding, I play for fun! Exercise! #$%& that!" I laugh, but for the most part I agree with him. He goes on to say, "I bust my ass and get tired all week! Why the hell would I want to do it when I'm supposed to be having fun?"

I started thinking about my answer to this question. Do I say that it's better exercise? No, I'm not out there for exercise. Do I mention how I can get a better "feel" for the course if I walk it? What am I a PGA pro?! I couldn't even explain how a course feels if I laid down naked in the middle of the 15th fairway. So I can think of no other response other than to agree with him. After all, I actually do agree with him!

So I begin to think to myself, how is this not my mentality? I want to play well, but I am also out there to have fun! Why am I exhausting myself? Why am I making stupid excuses? I work hard and get tired all week and it's no fun. I don't want to do the same things out on the golf course. I want to relax and enjoy myself. I don't want to get tired of the game. But if the game turns into work, that's exactly what's going to happen.

But now I wonder further, is this part of the reason I've had such a lax attitude toward the game this year? I didn't play nearly as much as I could/should have this year. The opportunities to play were there, I just didn't purse them. Is it because I'm looking at the game with the wrong attitude? Am I starting to look at the game with less fun than I used to? Did the idea of doing things to try to improve my game, such as the custom-fitted clubs and a balance bracelet, take some of the fun out of it for me and put more of a focus on improving my game? If so, then in my mind I'm heading in the wrong direction with this game.

I never wanted it to be this way. I just wanted to have fun. I didn't want it to become work. I didn't want it to become anything more than a good time with my buddies. I think I'm going to have to rethink my feelings toward this game. Is it possible that I've begun to take this game too seriously? No, that's not it. Maybe just a little more serious than I ever wanted to.

Swing 'til you're happy!

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Can Worm Turds Save the Golf Industry?

Right now, as I pen this post, people knee-deep in worm feces are revolutionizing the future of golf courses - and quite possibly saving the golf industry to boot.

That's right - worm crap. Or, more politely; worm castings. When utilized properly, this poop can save golf courses big money. And when courses save, golfers, golf retailers - in fact the entire golf industry, benefits. All from worm feces.

As absurd as this sounds, it may actually be pretty accurate. You see, worm dung, when brewed into a tea-like liquid (trust me, this isn't your pappy's sun-brewed iced tea) can be used as a decent substitute for chemical fertilizer and pesticides.

Less chemicals means less pollution run-off into streams, rivers and oceans. But what it also does is save the course from spending on said costly pesticides and fertilizers. In addition, using this worm castings tea can "reduce water usage by 30-50 percent" - see where this is starting to make sense from a golf course perspective?

So how do golf courses do this? I mean, is it really that feasible? What about costs? Well, one course in California has implemented this process and it hasn't costed them a dime - not in equipment, labor or worm poop.

The trick is capitalizing on the green movement that's been sweeping the nation over the last several years. There are many non-for-profit eco-organizations out there more than willing to fork over cash in return for a better and safer environment. Such was the case in California - when Dairy Creek Golf Course, in conjunction with the Green Golfer Foundation received a grant from multiple state-funded eco-organizations to fund their "ZerO Waste" initiative.

In a nut-shell; you get the worms (in this case, they were provided free of charge by another eco-organization), put them in worm bins (built by volunteers from the Green Golfer Foundation) and then watch them multiply exponetially in just a few months. Then you get all your leftover restaurant waste (which is free anyway) and let the worms chow down. They start pooping and you brew said poop in a 500 gallon compost brewer (assembled for free from the good folks at Green Golfer Foundation) and begin spraying the tea on the course.

Not only are you saving costs in fertilizer and pesticides, but you've just created one of the world's first zero waste golf courses. Yell that out the pro shop window and watch those lovable tree-hugger groups (cash in hand) come running!

But all joking aside, this concept is working at Dairy Creek Golf Course - a zero waste solution with no cost to the course. In fact, Dairy Creek is actually saving money by limiting the use of fertilizer, pesticides and water. The Green Golfer Foundation is looking for members willing to implement similar systems on golf courses all over the country. If you're interested in helping on a golf course in your area, please email them at: richard@environmentalprotectionassociates.com.

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A New Approach At The Golf Course Level

I'm driving home from work the other day when, on the radio, comes something I'm just not used to hearing. No, I don't mean a DJ to whom I can tolerate listening. I mean a commercial.

What's unusual about a commercial on the radio you ask? Well, it wasn't just any commercial. It was a commercial for a golf course. Actually, it was a commercial for multiple golf courses.

Maybe this doesn't sound so strange to some of you. But me? I honestly can't remember hearing a commercial on the radio for a golf course...ever! So why now? With the golf industry struggling, rounds declining every year and overall interest in the game sinking, is spending money on advertising the way to go? Are some courses looking to expand their clientele? Or for others, is it simply a last resort?

When you have a product to sell, and you want people to know about it, what do you do? You advertise your product. So why has it been different for golf courses? Why has radio advertising been a no-no in the past? But now, when they need people to come to the course, they are figuring out that it's a good idea. I mean, golf has been on the decline for a decade now. But it took them that long to figure out advertising?

Even more strange I thought, but a good idea in my opinion, is where they are advertising. I heard these commercials on a hard rock radio station! Not an easy listening station. Not the oldies station. Not the adult contemporary station. Not the news station. Not even the classic rock station. But the modern/hard rock station!

Now I haven't looked up the audience, but one would have to imagine most of the listeners of this particular station would be on the younger side. So are these golf courses killing two birds with one stone? Sure! By advertising here, they are reaching out via new media for them, as well as reaching out to a demographic that the game of golf needs.

It remains to be seen if this new form of advertising works for these courses. But whether it does or not, it's good to see that the courses themselves are taking a hands-on approach to addressing the problems with the sport. Because we all know that it sure isn't taking place at a higher level.

As the golf industry powers that be continue to market the game mostly to the scratch and low-handicappers, and consequently the industry continues to suffer, I feel these courses are taking the game in the right direction. They are doing what they can to get their name, as well as the sport itself, out there. And they are doing so in the direction of a new audience...a younger audience. And to that I say, good luck! This sport needs a new attitude and some new blood!

Swing 'til you're happy!

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Finally...Golfing Weather! So Why Wasn't I Golfing?

Mid- to upper 60's, a bit of a breeze, only a few clouds to be seen...this is fantastic golfing weather! There have been several nice days so far this year, just not on a weekend. So what more could I possibly ask for? This is the perfect day to hit the links for the first time this year.

But I didn't. Instead, my boys and I hopped in the car this morning and made our way to the bait shop. We grabbed a couple dozen night crawlers, headed out to a nice lake and proceeded to spend the next few hours casting our lines into the water hoping to reel in a good fish tale.

But I have to ask myself...is there something wrong with me? What I mean is, I have waited all winter for a weekend day like this one to get out on the golf course. And when this day finally comes...I go fishing instead! I guess the easiest way for me to explain it is that I have a connection with fishing that I don't have with golf.

You see, I began playing golf only about thirteen or fourteen years ago. But fishing? I can't even remember when I began going. Despite living practically around the corner from a golf course as a kid, it never really called out to me as much as the lake hidden back in the woods across the street. I can't begin to explain how many days my friends and I would spend back there, for hours on end, pulling out bass, trout, perch and catfish. It's a connection with my childhood that I don't want to lose. Golf will never have that connection for me since I took it up much later in life.

But fishing isn't something I get to do very often anymore due to hectic schedules, kids playing sports and my newer summertime love...golf. But every once in a while, I have to take the time to get back to my childhood. And then, golf has to take a backseat. It helps that my kids enjoy it also. They were as excited to go as I was.

People ask me how I can fish for hours, possibly not catch a thing, and not get bored out of my mind. The answer is, I have no idea. The connection with my youth? The potential to catch "the big one?" Just spending time outside, relaxing at a nice place on a nice day? Maybe it's a little bit of all those things. But, in some ways, I can equate fishing to golf. But none better than this...

While sitting on some rocks on the side of the lake, a ranger (we were at a state park) comes by and asks my boys how they were doing. My oldest responded "OK, we haven't caught anything yet." The ranger then responds "That's OK. It's a nice day and you're outside. What's better than that?" After the brutal winter we have just come through...he's right...what could be better?

Swing (or cast) 'til you're happy!

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Golf by the Numbers

What really fuels the golf market and keeps courses up and running? Pro's? Scratch golfers? Avid golfers? The answer is quite simple - the average or moderate golfer. If there are 27 million or so golfer's in the U.S. and less than 1% are pro or scratch golfers, count them out.

Ironically, a lot of pro's who can afford the game rarely pay for it or get great deals. As for avid golfers (25+ rounds per year), they only account for roughly 3-5% of the market, which leaves the average and beginners (less than 7 rounds per year).

The average golfer is statistically a mid to upper-mid working class person playing around 20 rounds a year. Funny thing is if it wasn't for this demographic, 80% of golf courses would probably shut their doors. Here's a reality check: average golfers use more golf balls, period. They or we go through 3-5 balls (or more) a round.

Let's do the math; say an average golf ball costs $1.00 times 4 balls a round times 20 rounds a year. That comes out to $80 dollars in golf balls per average golfer per season. Now multiply that times the roughly 20 million average golfers and there you have 1.6 billion dollars spent a year on golf balls. Sounds crazy, huh...how about those greens fees?

These numbers represent a driving but unheard voice in the golf community. We can take these stats and apply them to other commodities in the golf industry like clubs, apparel and accessories and get a good idea of the revenue we spill into this game we love.

What's in store for the future? I guess only time will tell...but as long as average golfers keep losing balls on the course, the golf economy will continue to drive forward...

Hit'em long...yell FORE!!! Love your balls.

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Introducing: The Stroke Clock!

Slow play. It's probably at the top of most golfers' complaint lists. Everyone is in such a hurry to get through the game that they can't stand to be held up for even a minute. But if everyone knows how much it burns other golfers, then why do they do it?

Many have brought up the idea that the it's the pros who cause the game to be played so slowly. I can understand that. Watching the pros at a tournament can be flat-out boring at some points. Taking an endless amount of practice swings, wandering around the ball for a little while, then taking a few more practice swings before they finally hit the ball...my goodness! Just wake me up when he's done already!

It's remarkable how much that sounds like the schmuck in front of you, isn't it? That's because the schmuck in front of you watches the tour and thinks he can/should do what they do. Well guess what slow guy...you can't and you shouldn't. And I'm not one to normally complain about slow play - I feel that if you're expecting to hurry, then you're playing the wrong game. But when someone is deliberately that slow..., you know what I'm getting at.

So in another effort to help improve viewership of the sport as well as, indirectly, improve the pace of play on the course for the rest us, I offer you another idea from the minds of golfstinks - The Stroke Clock. As you could probably figure, the stroke clock would work much the same as both the shot clock in basketball and play clock in football - You have X amount of time to get your shot off.

Think about that for a second. Another element of competition added to a sometimes pretty dull sport to watch. Not only are you playing against the field and the course, but now you are racing a clock as well! Some benefits to the clock? Well, picking up the pace of the game for starters. No more "play suspended by darkness." No more watching a player wander around his ball and take enough practice swings that you'd think he's in the middle of a lesson. Just get to your ball, focus and swing already!

And of course, the benefit for the rest of non-pros, speed of play on the public tracks we hack our way through every weekend is bound to speed up as well. All of those players who take their time because that's what they see the pros do, will have a whole new outlook on the pace of the game! Well, theoretically anyway. But one could hope!

The NBA adopted a shot clock in order to improve the pace of play, therefore increasing scoring and amping up the excitement of the game. The NFL did the same when they adjusted the play clock from 45 seconds down to 40. Even MLB occasionally attempts to speed up the pace of play by putting the pitchers on a clock. And there are penalties for not abiding by each. In the NBA, you lose possession of the ball. In the NFL it's a five-yard penalty. And in MLB, when enforced, it's an automatic ball for the pitcher. How about losing a stroke in golf if you don't get your shot off within 45 seconds of arriving at your ball? Seem a bit harsh? Well, maybe for a season they administer one or two warnings before assessing the stroke penalty. But after that season...you know the rules.

And lets face it, in a sport that has as many ridiculous rules as golf does, one to speed up the pace of play and possibly make the game more exciting might be one to consider implementing.

Swing 'til you're happy!

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Maybe What We Need Is Beer-League Golf...

Have you ever met the guy who has no friggin' idea what his handicap is? You're having a conversation and golf comes up. You say "So you play, huh? What's your handicap?" And you get this..."No idea. I usually shoot in the upper-90's or low 100's." And you give him that look like you're thinking "How the hell does this guy not know what his handicap is?" Don't you just hate that guy? Well guess what...that guy is me.

The only reason I have some sort of general idea about my handicap is due to Stinky Golfer Greg. He figures it out for me. Otherwise, and for the most part anyway, I'm the guy who makes the above statement.

What I can't figure out for the life of me is, why people look at me like I have three heads when I tell them I don't know what my handicap is? Really now...what's the big deal? If golf is supposed to be this game you play against yourself, then why is everyone so concerned with everyone elses handicap? Do you just want to know if you're better than me? Here, I'll make it simple for you...I stink....you're better....my name is Stinky Golfer Chris for cryin' out loud! There, do you feel better about your own game now? Glad I could help.

I don't understand why all these golfers who are not pro players (and I'm sorry to inform them, never will be) have some fascination with this number. I also fail to understand why the simple concept of playing golf just for the fun of it, goes right over the heads of most. I'll go back to an old analogy I made - I play beer league softball. I know or run into many others who play softball also. However, I have yet to hear one of those players ask me what my batting average is. Truthfully, why would they care? It's just softball for fun. Don't get me wrong...we all try to win. But if we don't...so what? I look at golf in the same light. Why is that so hard for other golfers to understand?

I guess I just don't understand the concept of spending obscene amounts of money on golf lessons only to take my new and improved game out to my local tracks. Let's go back to softball for a second. I try to do well when I play...but I'm not about to go take private batting lessons with Walt Hriniak or field grounders with Ozzie Smith. I play for fun! Just like I do with golf! Why is that so hard to understand?

For some reason though, golfers just don't get that. Most golfers can't understand that I step onto the course with every intention of having a good time. If I play well, great! If not, great! As long as I played.

See, I think like this: Once I begin to really work at golf (lots of practice, taking lessons, etc...) the game is no longer a game. It's now work. I don't ever want a sport that I enjoy to become work. Especially if I'm not going to get paid for it!

Am I the only one who feels this way? Does anyone else not know, or care, what their handicap is? Does anyone else play this sport simply for the fun of it? I can't be the only one of my kind....can I?

Swing 'til you're happy! It's the reason I play!

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POLL: How Often Do You Visit the 19th Hole?

A golf course just isn't complete without a 19th-Hole. Whether you take advantage of it or not, you can rest assured that it's there somewhere if you need it...either connected to the pro shop, or in a separate building on the course, or at least somewhere on the premises.

When I was on my quest to play every public 18-hole golf course in my state, part of my experience would be to grab a bite and a beer in the 19th-hole after my round. But there we're some exceptions: Like when the course had no 19th-hole. Yep, a full-sized, 18-hole course with no restaurant or bar - that always threw me for a loop.

Or sometimes I'd have dinner plans with the wife afterwards - which would quash any chance of me shoving some good tavern fare down my gullet. And sometimes I was the only one from my foursome who had time to stop in the 19th-hole. Not wanting to belly-up to the bar solo, I'd bypass it altogether and just head home.

I surmise the 19th-hole has a whole different meaning to players who belong to a private club. I mean, that group probably feels obligated to spend a decent amount of time at the course after each round (don't get me wrong, I'm sure it's a good time with good friends). But what I want to know is how many public course players still spend time in the 19th-hole these days?

A good chunk of a course's income stems from food and drink sales in the 19th-hole (and merchandise sales in the pro shop). But in this tough economic climate, are we still spending our hard-earned cash in the bar after the round?

Take the poll below and let us know...

How Often Do You Visit the 19-Hole?

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Golfing In A Winter Wonderland

OK, so in the past I may have mentioned that I don't play golf once the temperature drops below fifty degrees. But now that I've been introduced to the likes of Peter Masters and Annika Ostberg, I realize that I'm being a pansy.

Most people likely have no idea who Peter Masters and Annika Ostberg are. Neither did I until doing a bit of research. But these people are some of the best in the world, as well as the first two champions, in their sport. What sport is that you ask? Well, Snow Golf of course! Actually, for arguments sake, it was known as Ice Golf at the time.

Modern snow golf is actually credited to Rudyard Kipling (yes, Rudyard Kipling the author) during his time living in Vermont. It is said that he played in the snow by painting his golf balls red and using red cups as his holes. Apparently, snow golf has been played in Vermont ever since.

But the Ice Golf World Championships have been played almost exclusively in Greenland (twice in Austria) since 1997 on the world's northernmost golf course which is actually an ice shelf that gets reshaped every year by nature. So you may be playing the same course, but you're never really playing the same course.

However, as cool as that may sound, the next fact may snap me back to reality. The fact has to do with where and when these tournaments are played. This year? The tournament was played earlier this month in Switzerland. Now, as desirable as a trip to Switzerland may be, whether for golf or not..., do I really want to be there in January? I'm having a hard enough time handling the snow and cold here in Connecticut! But Switzerland in January?!

I accept the fact that the people who play in these tournaments have a desire and, what I can only describe as, love for the sport. And these people make me feel like more of a pansy for not playing below fifty degrees. But I'll tell you what...you can call me a pansy. At the end of the day, I'll be the pansy in shorts and a polo.

Swing 'til you're happy...as long as it's warm enough!

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My New Approach To Golf's Offseason

Do you want to see something foolish? Take a look at that photo to the left. I mean, really now. Sure, that stall is covered and heated, but are you so desperate to hit a golf ball that you'll stand outside in freezing temps at a snow-covered range on which you'll likely have no idea where your ball actually lands? Yeah...me too.

I'll admit to several times being that guy. Whether it's out of boredom, or my genuine want to improve at this game, I've been known to hit a driving range a few times between the months of December and February. I know I could go to an indoor range, and I will. But there's still something about tracking the flight of the ball.

But this offseason, I think I'm going to try something different. This offseason, I think I'm going to shut golf out completely. But I have reasoning behind this, and it's really very simple. It seems as if the more I work in the offseason, the fewer results I see - and this past season was the worst yet. Coincidentally, last offseason was the one in which I practiced the most.

Now I'm not saying I'm not going to practice at all. I will still hit the indoor range once or twice, but that's it. You see, when I first took up this game, that's about as often as I would work in the offseason. And guess what....I improved every year! But it seemed when I would work more in the offseason and try to focus on individual aspects of my game, other parts of my game would suffer. What this added up to was higher scores, a drop-off in improvement and more frustration once out on the course.

So this offseason I am going to try to counter that by going back to the way things used to be. No more standing out in the cold at the range. Just a trip or two to the indoor range to keep the basics of my swing in order and that's it. I figure by not focusing on any certain aspect of my game, I won't lose anything anywhere else. Plus, let's face it, the practice time adds pressure to perform when you get back out on the course. You go back out there expecting to see results, and if they don't show right away...you know what I mean. Who wants to go through that?

So over the next several months, golf will be merely a distant memory. No pressure to work on the game. No high expectations. No disappointment when the expectations don't pan out. And hopefully, with any luck, I'll show some improvement...just like the old days before I tried!

Swing 'til you're happy!

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Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Thanksgolfing

I love Thanksgiving. I love spending time with the family. I love stuffing my face so much that I struggle to keep my eyes open at the dinner table. I love no longer struggling to keep my eyes open on the couch after dinner. I love having turkey sandwiches for the next couple of days. It's an all around great time of year. The time of year to give thanks and appreciation to your friends and family.

But today I want to take the time to give more specific thanks. I want to take a moment to give thanks to everyone in my golfing life. I'll start with my wife.

I have many things for which I should give thanks to my wife. First off, thanks for using your work hook-ups to get me my new golf clubs! I'm looking forward to the chance to use them more often than I did this year.

Second, thanks again for using your hook-ups to get me and my buddies on to a few courses for some sweet discounts! There's nothing like playing a nice course for less than half price!

And third, thanks for not busting my stones when I golf rather than clean out the garage, mow the lawn or any other household chore that I should get done.

Thanks to Josh, my oldest, for using his birthday money to purchase his own set of clubs. By doing this, it gave me the chance to take him out for his first round. I hope it's the first of many.

A long overdue thanks to stinky golfers Greg and Dog for introducing me to this game all those years ago. If it wasn't for you guys, I may have never taken up golf and consequently, I would never have known what I was missing!

And last but not least, thanks to everyone who takes the time to read the ramblings we post here. Whether it's serious, comical or just downright nonsense, we thank you for appreciating and/or understanding exactly what we here at golfstinks are trying to do. Without you, there is no us.

This will be my last post before the holiday, so Happy Thanksgiving everyone, and thanks again for your much appreciated support.

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Play Golf, Save Money!

Golf is expensive. I could say nothing more and there would be no argument. The cost of the sport is what keeps many from getting into golf to begin with. For starters, you need the equipment to play. Clubs, a bag, shoes, balls, tees, etc...not too mention the certain type of clothing you may be required to purchase if you don't already have it. And that's before you even get out there! You didn't even pay your greens fees yet! Hell, I've been playing golf for years and the cost is what keeps me from playing more than anything else.

For years, many of us have waited for "twilight" times to get a break on greens fees. Some of us have a buddy working at a course who will get us a discount when the boss is gone. I know I've skipped out on a day of work a few times to play a course for a lower rate. But what if there was a better way to cut into the cost? Maybe you can make this game a little easier on your wallet. Well, for a mere $67 you can discount your rounds of golf for an entire year! How is that you say? Well, with the Player's Pass of course!

The Players Pass allows members to play courses for a fraction of their regular prices. And for only $67, the membership practically pays for itself after only two or three rounds at any of the participating courses. I know what you're thinking..."Sure, but you have to play on a Tuesday afternoon, tee off at 3:30 and it's only valid from December through February." Well, you'd be wrong. The beauty of the Player's Pass is that it's valid for an entire year. And at the 2,000+ participating courses throughout the country, weekends are included! With that many courses included in the Players Pass network, you're bound to find a participating course near you.

So what are these discounts you ask? Well, how about a 2-for-1 greens fee? How about discounts between $20-$50? How about discounts of up to 70%?!

Maybe you ask "Yeah, but what are the courses? Are they the crappy tracks that no one wants to play anyway?" I can only base my findings on my own experiences here in Connecticut but, of the eleven courses listed, the grouping is pretty impressive. I'll admit, I was a bit surprised to find a discount at Fox Hopyard Golf Club included in the group. "The Fox" is a superb all around course and is easily one of the top three in the state! Several other courses included are also among the better tracks CT has to offer. So I would suggest logging onto the site and taking a look at your states listing. You just might be pleasantly surprised.

So this sounds like a pretty good package, right? Sure it does. But you know what could make it better? If it was free! Our friends over at Players Pass have agreed to give away one free membership to a golfstinks reader. And as usual, it's quite simple to enter your name for a chance to win. Simply head over to the golfstinks facebook page and hit "like." What could be easier than that?! We'll choose one random winner and you could be on your way to playing cheaper golf without rushing to beat the sunset!

Go to the golfstinks facebook page, click like, win a Players Pass and swing 'til you're happy!

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A Golf Course Is Like Pizza...

I don't know how anyone else feels about this, but to me there are certain foods of which a good meal isn't much different than a bad one. Chinese, especially take-out, comes to mind. A bad plate of Gong Bao Chicken and a good plate of Gong Bao Chicken are not all that different.

Mexican is another. Now don't get me wrong...I've had some really bad Chinese and Mexican dishes, and I've had some really good Chinese and Mexican dishes. I'm saying, in general, there's not a big difference.

But even though you know of a certain restaurant that may serve up some of those below-par dishes, you still go to them in a pinch. For me, it's pizza. I love pizza. I can have pizza three times a week and it's OK with me. But unfortunately, since I moved out of the New Haven, Connecticut area, I just can't find a good pie anywhere locally. I apologize to everyone around me now, but the pizza places you've recommended to me with that "great sauce" or "good pepperoni" - I'm sorry and I'm sure I've been spoiled by being so close to the famous Pepe's and Modern pizzerias for years, but...your recommendation? It sucked.

But I have kids. And packing them into the car to drive 40 minutes for pizza every time we want it? It's just not realistic. So we settle for the crappy pizzas we find around here. They're not good, but they're good enough to satisfy a craving.

For me, golf is the same way. Sometimes, I just want to play. Yeah, I want to play a nice course whenever I can. But at the same time, I don't always have the time or the money to play the nicest courses around. So, I settle for playing some courses that wouldn't be considered top-tier. But, like the pizza, it's OK because I'm still playing golf.

That's what it's all about. I don't so much care where I play, I just care that I do. Of course I'd prefer to play the nicest courses all the time, who wouldn't? But for most of us, that's just not possible. It costs more money to play the nicer courses. For some of us, it takes more time because these courses may not be local. I have a nice course only ten minutes away, but it's pricey...so I won't be there all the time (not that I want to play the same course all the time anyway).

But the bright side to this is the chance to discover and play a wide variety of courses throughout the state. Unheralded courses. Courses that fly below the radar. Courses that I would normally never play if I just focused on certain others. Some may not understand this. Some may not understand why anyone would want to play these courses when there are better available. And that's fine. I just prefer the variety. I prefer playing different courses. This is why I'm not a member at any one.

Yeah, sometimes I have to settle. But am I really? Sure, I'm not at the greatest course in the world, but I'm doing what I set out to do...play golf. Maybe I'm not being waited on hand-and-foot, but I'm here to play golf...not to pass out tips and have my ass kissed. Maybe the scenery isn't as great as it could be, but I'm not exactly looking at a demilitarized zone either. I'm playing golf, and that's all that I set out to do. So I'm happy.

So how is a golf course like pizza? Even when it's bad...it's still pretty good.

Swing 'til you're happy.

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Golf for Free?

With a steady decline of tee-times being filled and empty courses during the week, it was only a matter of time before the ol' proverbial "For Sale" sign would hang on the front lawn of our beloved local tracks.


I'm sure the recent rise in unemployment and this f%$#in' "recession" might have something to do with it. You would think if you're not working than there's more time to golf, right? Well, last time I checked I think you need money to do that.

So, as usual I strapped on the thinking cap and charged it with beer...I mean "smart juice" - a whole twelve pack of it. For some reason, the more I drink the smarter I get...or at least I think I do. Moving on, I did some research and found out that, just like in the housing market, some golf courses were being repossessed and up for public auction while others were having short sales. Could this possibly be a good time to invest?

Basically you would have to weigh the pro's and con's. Obviously, a pro would be that you golf for free. If you're able to grab a golf course for half-a-mil or less and figure the average round costs $45, it would virtually pay for itself in like...11...thousand...rounds...yeah...right. Ok, maybe I would have to invite some friends or something. Whatta you know, another check in the pro column - I would be the coolest friend in the world!

Supposedly, as of a few years ago there were around 200 courses for sale. That's a lot of land! I wonder what would happen if this trend keeps up? I do know a lot of courses have been cutting their greens fees significantly, as well as reducing membership dues to attract more members. If I had the money to invest in a course I definitely would. My justification would be part financial strategy and part love for the game. So any uber rich golf lovers - please take note: The idea of an empty and weed infested golf course just doesn't sit well with me.

Hit'em long...yell FORE! Save a course.

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From Greens To Gridirons

This is my favorite time of year. The days are getting cooler and more comfortable. The nights are becoming, what I refer to as, "sleeping weather." Soon, the leaves will be blazing with the foliage of another beautiful Connecticut autumn. It doesn't get any better than spending a few hours out on the course on a Saturday morning in September or October. But not Sunday! Why not Sunday? Well, becaue of another reason this is my favorite time of year. It's football season!

Since I began playing golf, I try not to let much get in the way of being on the course. Sometimes I can't help it. Things happen. I can't control the weather. And with my wife being a photographer, sometimes her appointments, sessions or weddings get in the way. But hey, it's better for her to be making us money, than for me to be spending it, right? But the one thing that I will always allow to get in the way of golf is the NFL. I will put away my putter in favor of my Patriots.

I have long been a fan of football. Ever since I was just a little kid and my dad would keep me up at night to watch Monday Night Football. Nothing has changed since then. As a matter of fact, I find myself doing the same thing with my boys now. The minute the Super Bowl ends, I long for September to come around again. I want to spend my Sundays lounging in front of the TV with a beer, eating chips and wings. I'll play golf on Sunday, but I have to be home by 1:00.

However, as much as I love football and look forward to the start of the season, I guess it is a bittersweet feeling as well. Because when the football season is just starting up, that means golf season is winding down. So I begin to reflect on another season of golf. I look back on another season in which I didn't get to play nearly as much as I would have liked. I don't really reflect on my performance all that much. For me, it's more about quantity than quality. I think back on some of my favorite rounds. I look back and appreciate playing a course I've never played before, or one I haven't visited in a few years. I try to remember the good rounds and forget the bad. There's usually not a whole lot of good rounds for me to remember!

But along with the disappointing feeling of another golf season coming to an end, is the feeling of knowing I am also entering my favorite part of the golf season! Often times, we will try to save some of the best courses for last. Courses we know have the best views of the changing leaves. The prettiest courses in autumn. There's nothing like standing at the top of an elevated par-3, hitting your ball into a sea of reds, oranges and yellows, followed up by searching for the ball in the woods while the fallen leaves crunch beneath your Foot-Joys. How about playing a course with a few holes that wind around an orchard right when the apples are in season. There's nothing like eating an apple picked right off the tree. And it's even better when I can simply drive my golf cart right up to the tree, and pick out the best one I can find. Now that's great golf.

So let's all enjoy these last few weeks of the season. Forget your score for a while. Don't try so hard. Don't take it so serious. Enjoy the beautiful weather and comfortable temperatures. And if we're lucky enough to have that "golf weather" last deep into the year, then let's just enjoy the fact that we're out on the course at all! Just not on Sundays after 1:00.

Swing 'til you're happy!

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I Never Realized How Much I Stink at Golf Until...

...I heard the name Bobby Wyatt. I'm sure by now most of you have heard about Wyatt's 57. No, that's not a new brand of whiskey you'll find on the shelves of your local packie. It's a golf score. On 18 holes. On a regulation golf course. By a 17-year old. Under the pressure of playing in a state championship.

But for some reason, it didn't seem to get the publicity one would imagine considering its rarity. How rare is it? Well, unofficially, only three times has a lower score ever been recorded and on none of those previous occasions was the course over 6,500 yards.

How amazing is that 57 in comparison to my golf game? Let's put it this way - I came home from a round once and had my wife ask me how I did. I responded "I shot a 59." She said "I thought you were playing 18?" Even my wife, who admittedly has no clue what the scores mean, knows enough that I have no chance of EVER approaching that number on 18 holes.

But that's OK...that's not why I play. However, seeing someone shoot a round containing more birdies than I have recorded in twelve years is still quite humbling, no matter your skill level. So as if watching this kid, who is half my age, single-handedly makes my quest to one day break 90 seem pathetic and meaningless...I wondered about a couple of other golf feats that I would never approach. Here are the two that stood out most...

Holes-in-One:
I have yet to record one. I once came within about a foot on the same hole, in the same round, as one of my playing partners who came within about 3 inches. Otherwise, I've never really threatened to drop in the all-elusive ace. But Norman Manley? According to the United States Golf Register, Norman supposedly has 59 aces in his golfing career. 59!

Considering I have seen the odds of a hole-in-one range anywhere between 1 in 40,000 to 1 in 1,000,000, I really have to question the amount of truth behind that number. Is it legit? Is it a hoax? Is it an "I caught the biggest fish I've ever seen in my life but no one was there to see it" tale? I don't know. But I wouldn't be surprised if it ranks right there with crop circles and Wilt Chamberlain's extra-curricular activities.

Longest Drive:
Some years ago, Stinky Golfer Greg and I were playing in a local tournament. We came upon a "long-drive" hole and Greg asked me if I was going to give it a go. Not one to back down from a challenge, I pulled out my shiny new Big Bertha (which has since found its way to eBay), lined up my drive and let loose a bomb like I've never hit before. When I reached the ball, I believed it to be the longest drive I'd ever hit - 320 yards. I knew it was 320 because just five yards in front of me was the marker for the longest drive of the day. Close, but no cigar. This drive however, was child's play in comparison to that of a drive recorded by "Mighty" Mike Austin.

In 1974, Austin, who was already well known for his long drives, released a 515-yard missile during the U.S. National Seniors Open Championship. I understand it happened in a tournament and it's recognized as the longest drive ever in competition..., but 515? By a (at the time) 64 year old man? Using golf club technology that is 36 years old? For comparisons sake, muscle-bound men, competing in long drive championships with clubs custom built for distance in competition cannot hit that far with today's technology. As a matter of fact, the long-drive competition record is 539 - only 24 yards farther.

I'm sorry, but this one ranks right up there with Mantle's 565-foot home run. I just can't really believe that's true, and physics backs it up. Especially when I have seen juiced-up guys like Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds hammer shots that have not even approached that mark. I'm sure it was a long drive, but it wasn't 515 yards. Unless that tournament was taking place on the moon.

Whether or not these "records" hold true, they are marks that will likely never be challenged by me. Now don't get me wrong, I'll try. Anytime I come upon a par-3...I'll be looking for my first ace. Any long-drive hole that crosses my path...I'll do my best to make my mark. After all, like every other one, these records are made to be broken.

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Stinky Golfer's Wives; We Do Exist

What's it like being the wife of a stinky golfer? Interesting...to say the least. I am sure by now many of you know who I am. My name is Jenn, but I may be better known as "Mrs. Stinky Golfer Chris." That's us to the left - an actual wedding photo. Am I a cool wife or what?

Just to clarify any previous statements made by my husband, it's not that I don't like golf, I just have no interest in it...at all. When Chris comes home from golf, I ask him what he shot. He'll say, "Horrible, I shot 103!" I'll say something to the effect of "Aw, that sucks." But really, I have NO idea what that means. Not even a little.

Now, I know what some of you are thinking. "Wow, she shows interest even though she could care less." Here's why I really do it. Because if I act like I understand what he is saying, he won't try to explain it to me. It's not that I don't want to know, but with Chris it will turn into physics, logistics and every other type of -ics, and I'll just end up even more confused. You see, he is the guy who knows who was King in some far off never-never land that existed for like three hours and only seven people have ever heard of. I've learned the hard way, when he can answer 85% of the questions on Jeopardy, you tend to not ask for explanations.

In previous posts, Chris has let you all in on my career of sorts. Yes, he is correct, he gets awesome perks from me working overtime. When he wants new clubs, or wants to play a course, I make a call and *poof* I am the best wife EVER! But see, this is all part of my plan. I am sure many of you have seen the post regarding my purses. Well, you see, if I call and make a tee time for him, I can head off to the outlets, maybe buy a purse, spend all day with my girlfriends and be back home before he ever knows the difference.

If he shoots bad, he'll come home annoyed and throw himself on the couch to play some Call of Duty. I guess blowing up 13 year old internet junkies makes it better. If he shoots good, he comes home happy, smiles and says "Let's go out to eat!" I ask the all important question; "How'd you shoot?" He says "98!" I say "Awesome!" I'll throw in a quick "Look what I got at the outlet ..." He says "Great! Let's eat!" Now, that to me is a win-win.

In all honesty, I love that my husband golfs. He gets out there with his friends, has a good time, makes some jokes and comes home with some sort of satisfaction. I'll never be that wife that calls when he is about to tee off, asking when he will be home. I would not want him to call and nag me when I am out on my shopping spree!

Being the wife of a Stinky Golfer is awesome. I hear great stories, laugh all the time and never hear my husband complain about something he loves!

So, I would like to say, thank you Honey for liking something that makes you happy most of the time. I cannot wait until you come home from using your new fitted clubs (you're welcome) and tell me you shot an 80! I think that day I could probably get a new car out of him..., or at least new shoes!

- Jennifer Chirico

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Did Someone Say Golf Is Supposed To Be Fun?

We all recognize the golf course as a place for camaraderie, competition and challenge. But many of us also recognize the course as a place for memorable, humorous moments, jokes and some good old-fashioned ball-busting. Be it a one-liner after a wicked slice, a tee tossed just in front of a lined-up putt or an emphatic "Good luck!" an instant before the strike of the ball on the opening drive. Yup, the golf course offers up many memories just waiting to be made.

Now you hardcore golfers, who have it in your head that you're on some kind of tour, probably just read the previous paragraph and cringed. "Talking during the swing? Well I never..." That's because you never played with me and you're not part of our regular golfing circle. I pulled that crap just a couple of weeks ago with our co-founder, Stinky Golfer Tom (who, for multiple reasons, we have nicknamed "Dog"). Did he get angry? Nope. Did it ruin his round? No...Dog's round was ruined the minute he showed up to the course. What was Dog's reaction? A smile and a playful shove on his way back to the cart. Just what I would expect from Dog, which is why I know I can mess around with him. And several holes later, when I wasn't expecting it...payback. He got me with the same damn thing.

My point is, I'm not interested in hearing about your chip-in from the trap or your 35-foot putt. Ho-hum...happens all the time. I'm not going to remember your story anyway. But what I will remember is the joke someone made while walking down the third fairway. The following are some of the more humorous moments I have so far experienced in my relatively short golf career. I hope you enjoy these as much as I did at the time.

"Lost Balls"
Stinky Golfer Greg and I were playing 18 with an older gentleman, whose name has since slipped my mind. I can honestly say I remember absolutely nothing about the round except one unintended joke. The three of us were walking together down one of the fairways when we noticed a few guys from an adjacent fairway looking for their drives. The older gentleman spots the balls lying in the rough to the right of our fairway and promptly shouts at the top of his lungs..."Hey, looks like you guys lost your balls over here!" Now that's not the funny part. The funny part is, the "lost your balls" line obviously sparked a joke in the immature minds of both Greg and I. But not two or three seconds after this guy shouts out his helpful directions, he realizes what he said. He then quietly mutters "Lost your balls...listen to me...I'd better keep my mouth shut!" The joke isn't that funny to begin with. But when you hear it from a 70+ year-old guy after he realized he shouted it out loud across a couple fairways...it was priceless.

"Your Husband"
The first time I ever heard this insult, I almost peed my pants. Stinky Golfer Dog and I were paired up with a couple of other guys who, more or less, played the game the same way we play it. We all stunk, but we were having a good time. The jokes and insults were flying throughout the round. But when one of the guys left an 8-10 foot putt about a foot-and-a-half short, the other looked at him and without hesitation said..."Nice putt, maybe next time your husband can play with us." Years later, the joke now seems old and completely sexist. But back when I first heard it, I laughed out loud, as did Dog and the butt of the joke, like a little school girl. Good stuff.

"Which club you usin' Pete?"
Stinky Golfers Dog, Greg, Pete and I, for the first and likely only time, managed to drop all of our drives in a relatively similar position. So we're discussing amongst ourselves which club we're going to hit on our approach. But none of us asked Pete what he was going to use. So, not wanting to leave him out of the discussion, I decided to ask him myself. Thing was, Pete was in the middle of his backswing when I asked "Which club you usin' Pete?" He bounced his shot about 50 yards down the fairway, but hey...at least it was straight!

Looked like a path to me...
Dog and I took a cart out at some course somewhere. Dog hit a great shot onto one of the greens, but I sliced mine off onto another fairway. He tells me he'll walk up to the green so I can take the cart over to my ball. But the fairway in which my ball was lying was down a hill. I could follow the cart path down and around and backtrack to my ball, but I didn't want to hold up the group behind us. So I looked for a shortcut. Sure enough a few feet down the cart path was (what looked to me anyway) like a path down the hill. So I took a right turn and headed down. Big mistake. I realized too late that this hill was much too steep to be taking a cart down. I hit the brakes, but they were useless. I bounced my way down this hill like a rolling boulder and have no idea how the cart didn't split in two. Despite my flailing limbs as I desperately tried to hang onto the steering wheel, I notice a few guys, obviously pissed off, yelling in my direction. I saw their lips moving, but due to the creaking and banging of my cart, I couldn't hear a thing they were saying. But an instant later, I was at the bottom of the hill. So I took a quick left, headed to my ball and hit as quickly as I could. Once back up top, Dog looks at me and says..."Those guys we're pissed!" Honestly, it was a hell of a ride, but one I never meant to take.

"Do you guys see it?"
Dog and I (You may notice Dog in a few of these stories which is not just a coincidence) were playing a course with a guy we got hooked up with. We're on one of the tees standing behind Dog as he readies for his drive. Dog hauls off and takes one of his usual mighty swings. Laughter ensues. Me and this other guy are cracking up because, well, we've never seen anything like it. Dog must have hit the top of the ball just right because it popped up about knee-high and fell straight back down, almost landing back on his tee. But what me and this other guy are really laughing about is Dog, having no idea what happened, is staring down the fairway, hand over his eyes, asking "Do you see the ball? What's so funny? Where is it?" I laughingly respond "Look down you idiot." 'Nuff said.

"Not gonna say Fore!"
One time out on the course, Stinky Golfer Pete informs us he is not going to yell "Fore!" to warn other golfers of his incoming projectiles. Instead, he's going to try something new. So sure enough, a few holes out...here it comes. Pete launches one in the general direction of another foursome. Now, just so everyone knows, there was no chance at all the group was in any danger. The ball was really nowhere near them. But Pete, playing it safe shouts out his "Fore!" alternative. With his left hand raised, index finger pointed at the sky, wide-eyed and smiling...Pete shouts out..."Attenzione!!!"...and again..."Attenzione!!!" This episode happened six or seven years ago...and it hasn't gotten old yet.

There are so many more...probably some much funnier than what I have mentioned here. But I can't seem to remember them all. And whatever comes to mind, I can save those for another time.

I suppose I should also mention that I hope everyone reading this understands we mean no disrespect to the game, the courses, the etiquette or the other players. We just like to keep things loose. We like to keep the moments light. We would never do any of these things or make any of these jokes at what would be considered an improper time. But if you can't add a bit of fun to your rounds, then you simply have the wrong idea out on the course.

I'm going to go out on a limb and say...if you're reading this, then you likely have no chance of ever becoming a PGA Tour pro. So relax, have fun and keep things light. The game is a hell of a lot more fun that way.

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