Ghosts, Goblins and Golf

There are a few times in golf when you might have the crap scared out of you.

1. Hitting a shot and then realizing it is headed right at another golfer.

2. Being on the receiving end of #1.

3. Playing on a haunted golf course.

With the latter in mind and being in the Halloween spirit, I thought it would be interesting to explore some more haunted golf courses. Last year, Stinky Golfer Chris covered some with his frightening post and this year I wanted to continue. We'll go from the U.S. to overseas and take a look at some of these spooky tracks.

Many consider New Orleans to be a haunted city and what a great place to start. City Park Golf Course in N'awlins has seen its share of apparitions and ghosts. Stinky Golfer Chris mentioned the paranormal activity on the 18th green of the East course but, how about the the spirit of a murdered woman on the South Course? The next time you hear "Who dat say dey gonna beat dem Saints?" Think twice...

Moving around the south we encounter courses that were built on old plantations and perhaps slave graveyards. Not to mention possible native burial grounds. These sacred final resting spots should have been left alone but the chance to make a buck over-ruled, such as Willow Brook Plantation in South Carolina.

Across the pond at perhaps the most famous golf course in the world, St. Andrews is also home to Martyr's Monument. The site, right behind the 18th green, on the Old Course where five Protestants were burned at the stake some 500 years ago. Was that cool breeze you just felt coming off the North Sea...or was it coming from something else?

Moving on to the land of kangaroos and shrimp on the barbie, we come to Mt. Lawley Golf Club in Perth, Australia. This course has a hole named "Satan's Elbow". And somewhere around that area a man named Michael Oakleigh, as legend has it, committed suicide. Double whammy, not only is the hole named Satan's elbow, some guy offed himself there too. I think I'll skip this hole.

This next story is a dead on (pun intended) match for Golfstinks.com! Apparently, Grande Oaks Golf Club (the old Rolling Hills Golf Club where they filmed Caddyshack) and some other South Florida courses seem to be the place where golfers are encountering the ghost of Ted Knight, a.k.a Judge Smails.

How great is that? If I had to go to a haunted place, I would want the ghost to be Judge Smails. Gambling might have been illegal at Bushwood but no one said anything about haunting it...

Hit'em long...yell FORE!!!

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Attention Public Golf Courses: Make Room for Judge Smails

Ready to trade-in that private club membership yet? No matter; there's a chance your golf course will do it for you. According the National Golf Foundation (NGF), 94 18-hole private courses switched over to public courses in 2010.

Compare that to only 22 that switched from public to private and you start to realize what the golf real estate boom of decades past (coupled with the current economy) has done to private golf clubs. What's more, public golf courses have increased in number in the U.S. nearly 6 percent over the last 10 years; compared to private courses, which have increased just 2 percent.

That being said, I'd like to take this time to welcome private club members to public golf course life. If your country club has been downgraded converted to a daily fee track, don't fret - there's still plenty of top drawer fun to be had. You just need to brush-up on some of your public golf course etiquette:

Firstly; Please take heed of the dress code: Collared shirts must not cost more than $30 and must never be tucked in. Shorts (I'm pretty sure long pants are forbidden) must not have little whales, ducks or other wildlife embroidered all over them. Also, wearing an ascot around your neck or sweater across your shoulders is an open invitation for a 9-iron enema...consider yourself warned.

Second; Please don't linger in the club house before or after your round. Range balls aren't free, so there's no reason to show up too early for your tee-time. And if you're not scoffing-down a bucket of hot-wings in the 19th-hole post round, then you probably should be driving home...after all, you should carve-out some time on the weekend to see your spouse and children.

Third; There's going to be a wait on a few holes and you need to remember to remain calm. Take a deep breath (bring a paper bag to breathe into if necessary). This anxiety will pass once you come to terms with the fact that the round is going to take longer than 3 hours. Also, while you're out on the course, you may get stuck behind a foursome that will appear to have never played golf before. Don't worry - this is the Tennis Shoe Crowd and they are a completely normal occurrence. Simply play through when they are all in the woods searching for their drives.

Let me think...are there any more tips? Well these are a good starting point. Remember, there's going to be an adjustment period, but don't let that discourage you. Playing on a public golf course is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, think of all the interesting people you will meet...like me! Just try to keep your chin up (not because you're depressed over losing your elite status, but because if the Tennis Shoe Crowd is teeing off, you don't want to get smacked in the face with an errant shot).

See you in April!

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