2/17/2010

Bigfoot Stole My Golf Ball

Have you ever hit what you thought to be a awesome drive, only to have your ball disappear on you? Well, I've been a victim of this "phenomenon" so many times, I started wondering where all those golf balls could've ended up. I mean, are there millions of golf balls lost in some vortex somewhere? To me, it seems very fishy whenever your golf ball pulls a Houdini act.


Can't you envision Sasquatch (or some other "thing") lumbering out to the fairway from the trees, pausing to look around for a second, then snatching your golf ball before retreating into the depths of the underbrush? Don't laugh, like a creepy forest, scary house or old cemetery, golf courses are not immune to reports of strange activity...

In Roxborough, Colorado, two course workers were picking up the flags one evening at Arrowhead Golf Course. As they approached the 13th hole, they noticed a large whitish-grey, human-like figure approximately 7- to 8-feet tall. The workers high-tailed it out of there, but returned a few minutes later in a golf cart that had headlights. Unfortunately, the creature was gone and left no visible tracks. I'll bet he had a sack full of golf balls on his back too.

On Runaway Bay Golf Course in Wise County, Texas recently, a maintenance worker found a dead Chupacabra. Tony Potter scooped-up the creature and delivered it to authorities after his wife wouldn't let him keep it in their freezer (you can't make this stuff up). Of course, local authorities "are baffled" by the thing and are awaiting test results to find out what it is. Could the Chupacabra be sucking Top-Flite's dry of their playability?

Meanwhile, in England, it appears golf balls are getting beamed-up by alien spacecraft. In the 1990's, a man playing Weald Park Golf Club in Essex spotted a "solid-shaped dome" hovering by some trees in broad daylight. The man hurried to the next tee to gain a better vantage point, but the object had disappeared. Then, in July 2008, two people spotted a "saucer-shaped object" hovering around the town of Harborough's golf course. According to the witnesses, the craft "kept circling over the golf course, disappearing behind trees and then becoming visible again." Most recently, a man spotted "orange balls" over Ufford Park hotel and golf course in Suffolk. The incident happened only a few miles from one of Britain's most famous UFO sightings in 1980.

Finally, in New Orleans' City Park, if you play the old East Course, don't be surprised if you witness a murder...or, at least think you do. Golfers there swear they overhear the sounds of two women golfing, and then one of the women getting shot! Eerily, a woman actually was shot on the course in the early 1960's. And that's not the only phantom on the course - keep a sharp eye for a man standing in the rough, watching you play though (he's on the prowl for Pro V1's no doubt). The man is thought to be the ghost of famous golfer and club maker, Blackie Pustaino. Pustaino passed in 2001 and was buried with his favorite golf trophy. In a haunting twist, a golfer recently found the trophy, which just happened to be lying in the rough on the 18th hole of the old East Course.

So, the next time you hit a what appears to be a great shot, only to be unable to find your ball - don't rule out the paranormal. After all, USGA rule 18-1 states: "If a ball at rest is moved by an outside agency [e.g. our pal Bigfoot], there is no penalty and the ball must be replaced." Of course, I could be watching too many episodes of Ghost Hunters, MonsterQuest and Destination Truth for my own good...

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