Do Cheaters Ever Win?

Let's say you're on the last hole. You currently stand at 84 and have never before broken 90. You're on a par-5 and launched your drive into the woods, but not OB. Out of sight of the rest of your group, you flub your next shot and it manages to bounce only a couple of feet in front of you. Now you're about to hit your third shot, you're still in the woods and you realize there's now no chance of breaking 90. Or, is there?

Sure, there's always the chance you could pull some miracle shot out from between your cheeks. But you also know that it would take a miracle just for the chance to make that miracle happen. So instead, you take a second to look around, see that no one saw your screw-up...and you hit again. Perfect! You're back out on the fairway, and as far as anyone knows, it only took you two to get there. Now, you have a realistic chance of breaking 90. But, do you really?

Without a doubt, cheating happens in golf all the time, but I have to wonder why? Take the example above. Sure, your scorecard is going to show an 89; your buddies think you broke that elusive 90. But you know the truth. You know you didn't do it. So what's the benefit really? One number on a scorecard? Is that it?

I want to say I understand in a situation like that. But I don't. I mean, did it win you a bet? Did it win you a tournament? Did it do anything significant? Or is it just something you can tell a story about...even if it is a lie? No matter what the reason, it isn't good enough.

Everyone always says that you play the game of golf against yourself. Everytime you go out there, you try to beat your best. So, by knocking strokes off of your score that shouldn't be knocked off...aren't you just cheating yourself?

Look, I'm no angel out on the course. I don't play golf 100% by the rules. I don't carry a rule book around in my pocket or in my bag. I don't study or memorize the rules either. As a matter of fact, I've never so much as looked at the rule book. I hit the ball, walk to it, hit it again. I keep doing this, more or less, until the ball is in the hole. I probably violate a rule here and there. Maybe I move a stick I'm not supposed to move. Maybe that's cheating. Whatever. The one thing I have never done, intentionally anyway, is not count a stroke. Really now, is the difference between my 102 or 101 that big a deal? What would that one stroke do for me? Especially considering I know I cheated?

There will always be cheaters, no matter the sport; no matter the reason. But I promise, I will not be one of them. How could I ever take my game seriously if I can just write on the card whatever score I feel like writing? So everyone can take it to the bank - if you're playing a round with me, you will beat me fair and square. You can count on a fair game from me.

Unless we're playing for money...

Posted in: cheating at golf,golf cheating,golf stinks,golfstinks