Don't Dress Like a Fool on the Golf Course

The following is a guest post from our buddy Joe Sponcia over at Pillars of Golf. While Joe's blog is geared more toward helping golf courses succeed, he penned this post in the hopes that these fashion offenders would take the hint.

We all have a few items in our closet that have run their course, hoping if a few years pass by, the item will come back into vogue. This guide isn't for the hopeful hoarders that hold onto clothing for decades (but know not to break them out), its for the oblivious among us that still have �members only� jackets...and wear them when the mood is right.

Look, twenty years is often too long to wait for the fashion boomerang to return, not to mention kids, divorces, job failures, all-you-can-eat wing night...etc., etc. You get the picture? Here's the list:

1. Cargo shorts - Its a round of golf, not a hike up the Appalachians. Coming from the biggest gadget guy on the planet, you don't need a pocket for your brush T's, a pouch for your sky caddie, a clip for your watch, a pocket for your divot tool, another pocket for extra balls, and still another pocket for your rules book. Your belt and/or your shorts aren't �Bat belts�. Two pockets in the front and two pockets on your rump are plenty.

2. Silver-tipped belts with obligatory golf club oval thingies - Seen circa 1994-2000 and should not be seen again except at the local muni's by people who �golf� frequently and also love to violate rule number six.



3. Black shorts/black socks - Up until a year ago, I violated this one on a regular basis. I thought because I was slightly below average height, the ?look' would intimidate? Looking back, I don't know that ?Daddy Earnhardt' is the best look for the golf course. Retire it, its played.

4. Tabasco-type shirts - It happens; it shouldn't.








5. Short sleeved mock shirts - I don't care if Tiger ?slum-ho' Woods pimps this look. Adding a 1/2 inch to a Hanes T-shirt made out of ?moisture-wicking' material still doesn't look good with a pressed pair of khakis...it makes you look very douchey...like these guys.




6. Knee socks - I don't know if it's the NBA that is bringing this back or what, but too many guys are wearing socks that are too long when wearing shorts. Long socks are for keeping your ankles extra warm in the winter, not for actually covering the top of your calves. You see, people won't say to your face, �Nice socks, I think there's a putt-putt course calling your name" ...they'll just think it. You can violate the other 5 items listed before, but this one is unforgivable.

7. Bluetooth devices worn on ears - Seriously?








8. Golf Sandals - Yeah on your honeymoon maybe but not �golfing� Hackstein. No one wants to see your toe ring or ankle bracelet Martha.










9. White belts/Big guts - If you can't see your pecker when you pee...no white belt for you.










10. Giant belt buckles/belt buckles with your initials or worse, someone else's - Unless you designed the piece of metal yourself and your name rhyme's with Hory Lambargini...nope.




11. Velcro 'laces' - My son still has these at five years old; you shouldn't.
I don't want to hear about your arthritis either. If you can grip a golf club, you can tie your shoes like a man. If anything on your body makes that velcro noise, except your glove when you are removing it, please, take up lawn darts.

12. Untucked, no belt with combo elastic pants - Remember Rodney Dangerfield in the movie Back to School doing the Triple Lindy? This is golf's version. It should be called "back porch grilling casual" and should only be seen with your "World's Best Dad" apron and tongs in hand...not on the golf course.

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