What is Golf Art?

My post last week about that golf bag telephone really got me thinking about why these golf nicknacks are created in the first place. And then it occurred to me that these things are, technically speaking anyhow, a form of art.

A telephone in the shape of a golf bag is art you say?

My wife has a BFA (Bachelor of Fine Arts). She's always said; "if the person who created it calls it art, then it's art." It doesn't matter if it's just a canvas splattered with paint shot out of a cannon at 500 paces - if the guy lighting the canon fuse calls it art, then we're perfectly justified in hanging it on our wall.

So let's get back to my golf bag telephone for a second. Pat from New York (who emailed me to win said phone last week) considers it art, even though I didn't. He plans on displaying it in his house with pride. And for Pat, it's not just static art, but it's functional art too (after all, it's a phone to boot). Pour yourself a glass of wine, pull up a chair and admire it, Pat!

But let's face it, when we think about golf, we think about things like the tours, or courses, or clubs & balls. When we think about the golf industry, apparel and equipment retailers come to mind. But we forget that this multi-billion dollar industry includes a place for art too. And I'm not just talking about the golf bag telephone anymore.

Take a look at the images below:




That, my friends, is golf art. I spied those at a touristy-type store in the historic district of Albuquerque. Both are created using golf things (parts of a club, a ball, tees - even the crown on the bird's head in the top photo is pieces of a soft spike)! It takes a certain breed to put those kinds of tchotchkes in your home, and I'm not among them. But you can't deny, it's art.

Of course, art also includes paintings and there is no shortage of golf paintings out there - observe the two distinctly different ones below:



My eye was drawn to painting on top, while my wife (the artist) chose the one on the bottom as being attractive.

And what about the subject in the aforementioned paintings - the courses. Are they not art in and of themselves? Walking down a quiet fairway on a perfect day - as far as I'm concerned, when you're on the golf course, you're surrounded in amazing art. The way the green distinguishes itself from the fairway and rough; the gorgeous vista from the tee; a ball that softly landed a foot from the cup - to me, this is all art - and I'm sure the course designer considered it as much. Heck, one could argue that the new forged wedge in my bag is a work of art! (OK, maybe I'm getting a little carried away).

But let's try to answer my original question: What is golf art? Perhaps an appropriate way to answer that would be to rearrange the question into a statement...

Golf is art.

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The Top Golf Stinks Blog Posts of 2011!

So it's the end of December and 2012 is right around the corner. But before we pop the bubbly and don our party hats tomorrow night, we here at the Golf Stinks blog would like to thank our readers for their continued support!

And to do that, we're going to carry on with the tradition we started two years ago: It's time to reveal our top ten posts of 2011 (based on page hits)!

Number 10

The Beginning of the End to my Golf Season - In September, Stinky Golfer Chris explains why the start of the NFL season pretty much marks the end of his (as well as many others') golf season.

Number 9

Golf Course Bankrupt? Blame Tiger Woods - Way back in January, Stinky Golfer Greg pondered why more and more golf courses are going belly-up these days and is led to conclude it's all Tiger's fault!

Number 8

Analysis: What Makes a Golf Course Great - In March, we revealed the analysis results of our "What Makes A Golf Course Great" survey. The results may surprise you!

Number 7

Don't Dress Like a Fool on the Golf Course - In this April guest post from Joe Sponcia over at Pillars of Golf, you will learn how not to dress for a round of golf!

Number 6

Why Golf is Aggravating - In this "reality bites" post, Stinky Golfer Pete comes to the frustrating conclusion that average hacks will always be average hacks.

Number 5

Variations on the Game of Golf - Project Flogton - In his continuing series on alternate versions of golf, Stinky Golfer Chris explores the cheating interesting format of Project Flogton.

Number 4

Does Golf Apparel and Equipment Fuel the "Rich Man's Sport" Stereotype? - Stinky Golfer Chris tackles one of the biggest stereotypes in the game - that you have to be rich to play golf. He suggests that merchandise retailers (and their marketing efforts) aren't helping.

Number 3

Why Do Non-Golfers Play in Golf Tournaments? - In this post from August, Stinky Golfer Chris ponders why people who rarely play golf, play in golf tournaments - could it be the food?

Number 2

5 Reasons Why They Hate Golf - In July, Stinky Golfer Greg provides his explanations as to why some people just don't appreciate this game we know and love.









And receiving the most page views in 2011...

Number 1

10 Golf Etiquette Rules Most Jackasses Ignore - In this April post, Stinky Golfer Greg lists his biggest golfer pet peeves in a no-holds-barred rant about cell-phone use; playing from the wrong tee-box; and giving unwanted swing advice.


So there you have it; our top posts of 2011! Thanks again to all our readers - without average hacks like you, golf just wouldn't be the same!

Best wishes for 2012!

-The Golfstinks Team

Related Posts:
The Top Golf Stinks Blog Posts of 2010!
The Top Golf Stinks Blog Posts of 2009!

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Golf Stinks, but this is Ridiculous...

Apparently the state of Illinois has a skunk problem. So much so, The Wall Street Journal decided to publish an article about it yesterday (on page A7 no less - must have been a slow news day).

What piqued my interest though was the sub-headline that this plethora of pee-yew is also affecting local golf courses. It seems "the skunks tear up the courses while digging for grubs."

The publication interviewed one animal control professional who was hired by the courses to remove the critters. This guy proudly claimed to have taken out (e.g. shot dead) nearly 30 skunks on two courses (apparently this is totally legal in Illinois).

Can you picture this guy maneuvering covertly around the course a la Carl Spackler? According to the article, he would stalk his prey on the course and once he spotted his target, he would hop "out of a small SUV and shoot them with a .22-caliber rifle."

Geesh! What's next? Dropping C-4 explosives into their burrows and taking cover? You know, not for nothing, but I don't see anyone out there blasting away at the Canadian Geese that are on the course - I mean, there's way more of them roaming around and for goodness sake, they're actually shitting all over the fairways and greens!

Alright, so maybe we can't just go around knocking-off gaggles of geese. But I'll tell you one golf course pest we should be looking into...Does anyone know what a Cicada Killer is?

OK, maybe you've heard of Cicadas - those large bugs that leave their shell behind on trees and make that annoying noise on summer evenings? Well, there's a type of wasp that specifically hunts them, and it's called a Cicada Killer.

These things are freaky - they look like gigantic bees (probably 1.5 to 2.5 inches in length). Anyway, these guys burrow in holes in the ground, and golf courses are a favorite haunt of theirs - especially in the sand traps and on the greens. I've personally seen them on a few local courses up here in Connecticut and while it's rare they sting humans, they're still scary as hell in person. Check out this video of Cicada Killers on a golf course.

But let's get back to the skunk issue in Illinois for a moment. It seems our malodorous mammal friends are not just invading the Prairie State. Earlier this year, they also infested a neighborhood and golf course in Tennessee. To make matters worse, the golf course (Fox Den County Club) was getting ready to host a Nationwide Tour event: "'The last thing we really need out here is a skunk problem,' said course superintendent Scott Severance."

Well Scott, I guess you could convince the owners to change the course name to Skunk Den Country Club (ba-dum-DUM). Seriously though - you golfers be careful out there...

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Gaga, Golf and Gout...

One of few times I teed-it-up this season.
Notice the gut, which is 8 pounds less now.

Seven times. That's it. That's all the times I've been out on the golf course this season. And of those seven, only one has been 18 holes - the rest have just been nine.

For someone who typically plays 30 times or more in a season (many of which are of the 18-hole variety), just seven rounds through the end of September is a pathetic display of golf neglect. Now I realize that for some of you, seven rounds in one season is actually a good amount of golf. But for me it's like I didn't play at all.

Keep in mind that I'm the guy who played all the 18-hole public courses in his state. I'm the guy who writes for a golf blog. And I'm the guy who co-owns a social media site about GOLF! In some way, I feel like I've let you all down.

So how does something like this happen? How does a self-proclaimed lover of golf manage to only play a mere seven times in one season? Well, for starters, I got a late start. In fact, most of my golf buddies did too. It was May before we stepped foot on a tee-box.

Perhaps this was mostly my fault. You see, I'm usually the tee-time organizer - calling everyone to make sure they were "in" for a particular Saturday and then booking the time. But this year, I wasn't doing much organizing. Instead, I was busy playing with blocks; changing diapers; and trying to turn the words "gaga" in to "mama" or "dada."

My son was born last October - perfect timing (if you asked me at the time), since golf season was basically over. And I wasn't kidding myself either - I knew once springtime came, I'd be playing less golf because of the new bundle - I even prepared to play half of what I normally would. But so far, I've only played a quarter of what I normally would. I'm hoping next year I'll play a few more rounds, but who knows? Life has changed.

But the baby isn't the only reason my time on the links has dwindled. Last month I was diagnosed with gout (a build-up of uric acid, typically in the joint of your big toe - and it had me hobbling around for days). I'm 36 years old. What the hell am I doing with gout? Old guys get gout. Ben Franklin had gout. But someone in their 30's? Come on! (Though it does happen to people younger and in better shape than me).

The Doc says I drink too much beer. Who doesn't? And, I'm about 30 pounds overweight. Who isn't? He put me on an anti-inflammatory and told me to alter my diet. After missing two perfectly awesome golf weekends in the past month, I've dropped 8 pounds and the hobbling has dissapeared. But it can come back if I'm not careful, and I really don't want to go on a uric acid-reducing drug for the rest of my days. Again, life has changed.

It's been an interesting year to say the least: The baby has been an unbelievable joy; the lack of golf, a disappointment; and the gout, a wake-up call. But there's still at least a month left in the golf season up here in the Northeast. My son's first birthday will take up one of those weekends, but let's see if I can squeeze in a round or two before the last leaf falls.

You know, it's years like this that make you appreciate every time you're out on the golf course.

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The PoPo of the Golf Course

Every once in a while, my entire foursome will be off their game. Sure, typically one or two of us will pretend we're Lewis & Clark on a wilderness surveying mission, but all four? That's a bit rare. But, it happens.

One of the consequences of this anomaly is the course ranger. I penned a post last year about how starters hate me. Well, sometimes the course rangers hate me too. Who are these officers of the links, mounted on their E-Z-GO steeds?

I'm well-aware of when my group is playing wretchedly. When the four of us have been poking around the edge of the woods, searching for where we "think" our balls should have ended up, I'll glance back at the tee and see the foursome behind us. They're standing there with their legs crossed; one hand on their hip; and the other on the club (which is supporting their body weight). From that posture alone, you know you're playing too slow.

And then it happens (much to chagrin of your foursome and the satisfaction of the one behind you) - The ranger arrives on the scene. Easily identified by the little red flag fluttering atop his cart, you can feel that pit in your stomach begin to churn. That little flag conjures up the same emotions as blue and red flashing lights in your rear-view mirror, doesn't it? Except this time you're doing the exact opposite of speeding.

"Guys, here comes the ranger. Just act cool and we'll be OK."

I quickly check on the group in front of us to see if I can blame them. Crap. Those speed demons have already teed-off on the next hole. By now, the ranger is pulling up alongside us. We try and act nonchalantly - as if we weren't playing slowly at all!

"You fellas need to pick up the pace. We've got a couple groups waiting on you back there."

Sheepishly, I respond: "Yeah, sorry sir (note the use of "sir" like "officer") we'll drop a ball and move on."

Then the ranger speeds away down the cart path to wrangle-in other slow play offenders. He let us off with a warning...this time.

I have never been kicked off a golf course (if you have, please tell us about it) but had the ranger tell us to get a move on a few times. And, I've played courses where they put you on the clock (one course in particular actually handed us a card that told us exactly what time we should be at each hole based on our starting time)!

Ah, such is life on the golf course and we golfers need to be aware of this. No one likes slow play - no one. The courses want to push as many groups through as possible; and golfers don't like waiting behind a group slower than themselves. So, there's people to enforce the law of the links - and they're called the rangers.

Most of these guys are retired, but don't let that fool you - they take their jobs very, very seriously! Heed thy warning: If you think your group is playing too slow, you probably are. Speed it up before the course cops usher you out!

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How to Rate a Golf Course

Have you ever written a review for a golf course? Ever wanted to? Well, we've just made it super easy: You may know that we here at Golfstinks recently launched our golf course database (that's it there at the top right-hand side of the page).

The database features more than 18,000 courses in the United States, nearly 2,000 courses in Canada, and a select few in 19 other countries. But we didn't stop there - we also built-in a way for you to rate and review said courses. So how does it work?

Well, we begin with five criteria:

Difficulty

Grooming

Layout

Scenery

Hospitality



Each criteria is rated based on a 5-star scale, but we include half stars too, so you get 10 options to choose from!

Right off the bat you'll notice the Golfstinks rating system is unique in that "Difficulty" is based on balls lost. Let's face it - that's how average hacks think about it - if I lost two sleeves on the front nine alone, that's a tough course!

"Grooming" is self-explanitory - rate it from bad to good. Rate "Layout" from simple to intricate. For "Scenery" is it ugly or pretty? And is the staff wearing a frown or a smile for "Hospitality"?

After the 5 main criteria, there is an "Overall" rating to sum things up. But you may notice we didn't include price as a criteria. This is a bit of a touchy subject - while price is clearly a factor in deciding whether to play a course or not, should it be included in summarizing what a course has to offer in terms of quality? Some say yes, others no. What we say is if price is a big factor for you, let your "Overall" rating reflect that. Thought it was too pricey? Knock the "Overall" rating down a half-star (or whatever you think would be fair).

After you rate the course, feel free to write a review. This is your chance to explain why you rated it what you did. Plus the more you rate and review courses, you might become a "top" reviewer in your area. You can be featured on the new national homepage (coming soon) and have a chance to win sweet golf prizes!

Finally, you may have read the results of our golf course survey. Well, we plan on using those results to weight each criteria. As multiple people rate each course, it will generate an average score and then, we will rank that average score against the other courses (both in-state and nationally).

It make take some time for people to rate all the courses in our database, but eventually, you'll be able to logon to golfstinks.com, run a course search on a particular state and sort them all by rank - so you don't have to waste your time figuring out which course is the best!

Yep, this really is a golf revolution we're starting here. Get on board now by going to our registration page and joining for free.

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Top Golf Stinks Blog Posts (thus far) of 2011

Like usual, the first half of the year flew by! As many of our faithful readers know, that means it's time for us to list our Top 10 Posts (thus far) in 2011!

OK, here we go - out of 78 total posts for the year so far, we'll count down the top 10 most frequently read:

Number 10

The Breaking of Golf's Color Barrier - Back in January, Stinky Golfer Chris commemorated MLK Day by highlighting the first African-American to receive full PGA Tour status.

Number 9

POLL: Ever Broken A Golf Club in Anger? - In February, Stinky Golfer Greg admitted feeling invigorated after breaking his putter across his knee and wanted to know if anyone else has ever broken a club!

Number 8

Golf For The Ages - In January, Stinky Golfer Pete told us not to fret should we happen upon a geezer on the tee.

Number 7

POLL: Are Deal Sites Killing Golf Businesses? - In the second poll of this top 10 list, Stinky Golfer Greg wants to know if so-called "Deal Sites" are bad for traditional golf businesses.

Number 6

Why I'm Happy Tiger Didn't Win The Masters - Stinky Golfer Chris expresses his opinions on Tiger and why his losing streak can actually be good for the PGA Tour.

Number 5

Analysis: What Makes a Golf Course Great - In March, we revealed the analysis of our "What Makes A Golf Course Great" survey. The results may surprise you!

Number 4

Don't Dress Like a Fool on the Golf Course - In this April guest post from Joe Sponcia over at Pillars of Golf, you will learn how not to dress for a round of golf!

Number 3

Golf Course Bankrupt? Blame Tiger Woods - Stinky Golfer Greg ponders why more and more golf courses are going belly-up these days and is led to conclude it's all Tiger's fault!

Number 2

Variations on the Game of Golf - Project Flogton - In his continuing series on alternate versions of golf, Stinky Golfer Chris explores the cheating interesting format of Project Flogton.









And receiving the most page views thus far in 2011...

Number 1

10 Golf Etiquette Rules Most Jackasses Ignore - In this April post, Stinky Golfer Greg lists his biggest golfer pet peeves in a no-holds-barred rant about cell-phone use; playing from the wrong tee-box; and giving unwanted swing advice.


Hope you enjoyed reading those all over again - here's to another six months of golf insight, opinions and laughs!
-The Golfstinks Team

Related Posts:
The Top Golf Stinks Blog Posts of 2010!
The Top Golf Stinks Blog Posts of 2009!

Read more »

Are all Golf Courses Basically the Same?

To all you non-golfers; It may appear on TV that all golf courses are the same. And, believe it or not, I once thought that too...at least for a period of time.

As some of you may know, I've played many, many different golf courses in my 20+ years on the links (including my quest to play all the public 18-holers in my state). But after you play so many, they tend to mesh together in your mind like a hodgepodge of flag sticks, sand traps, ponds and grass.

When you're new to the game of golf, typically you frequent one course that you feel comfortable on. And that level of comfort pretty much keeps you loyal until the day a golfing buddy invites you to play somewhere else. Going to that "new" course can be exciting and it will seem like everything is different - the scenery, the layout, all of it.

And in reality, it was all different. But then you play a another course and another and before you know it, they all start to look similar. Well, after playing at all these different places, I developed a problem:

If a person mentioned a particular course to me, I would quickly tell them, "Oh, I've played there and it was decent." When they'd follow-up with, "What did you like about it?" I would hesitate. I couldn't, for the life of me, remember any details of said course! I would try to remember - I'd think of a particular par 3 with a pond and 30 par 3's with ponds rushed into my mind.

So what did I do? Were all those courses I experienced - that I spent my hard-earned money on - lost somewhere in that vast (and mostly empty) noggin of mine? I prayed not. The solution? I began writing reviews for each course - complete with my own rating system - which seemed to jog the old memory!

Much of that system is still intact and can be found on golfstinks.com - except now I've gotten your input too. If you took the survey (see the results HERE), you had a say in how the rating system should work. I know there are more of you out there - golfers that love playing at different courses. Well, you'll never have to forget the details again - just rate and post a review for any of the thousands of courses in our database.

But, shameless plug aside, I think I've come full-circle. When I first started golfing, every course I played was unique. Then, eventually, one track bled into another. And now, I've learned to take notice, appreciate and file-away the idiosyncrasies of each place I visit.

I once penned an entire post on why golf is unique compared to the other sports - and one of the biggest reasons is no two courses are exactly alike. Think about that for a second. Football fields (both American and European) conform to exact specifications; baseball diamonds and hockey rinks do too. But not golf - every single course is unique to itself.

Of course, I knew this all along. But it sure is fun remembering it all over again! So don't just play golf...experience it. Travel, discover and enjoy - even if it's just to the course in the next county over.

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Golfstinks.com: The Best Course Database on the Web

For more than 18 months, the Golf Stinks blog has informed and entertained...and we're growing in readership everyday (thanks to you)!

One of the main reasons we created this blog was to convey the notion that you don't have to be good at this game to love it. The other reason was to have a voice for our forthcoming website, golfstinks.com.

Well, we've been hard at work developing said website and have recently launched a major component: Our Golf Course Database!

The database features more than 18,000 public and private courses in the United States! In addition, it includes nearly 2,000 courses in Canada, and a select few in 19 other countries!

You can access the database by using the search box "Golf Course Search" right in our blog (on the right-hand side above our Facebook widget). This means no more Google searches looking for course websites, phone numbers or greens fees. Instead, you can get all that info (plus much more) - all while perusing your favorite golf blog!

Hands down, we think our database is the best way to search for golf courses - both via the web or on your mobile device. We can't wait for you to check it out!

And stay-tuned, because golfstinks.com is far-more than a course database - we're developing the best golf-related site on the web and now you too can "join the golf revolution" RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW for free!

Once you join, you can create a golf bio (this isn't a PGA Tour golf bio, it's for average hacks like you and me), search courses and post reviews for them too! We're in beta, so you may find a few glitches, but rest assured we'll be working to prefect this on a daily basis (and we'll be adding more features soon to boot)!

Golfstinks.com: Join, search courses, play golf, yell fore. Done.

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The Quest to Play Every Golf Course in my State

Every now and then, you reach a point in your life when you feel the need to accomplish something for you and only you. Things have a way of carrying on in the same manner; a routine sets in and before you know it, it's been months, perhaps even years since you've done something truly unique.

For me, the year was 2003. By then, I had been playing golf for 14 years and I hadn't gotten any better. It's strange, actually; My golf game had gotten smarter - I learned to lay-up to the 150-marker so I could hit 8-iron into the green every time; I learned to hit a 5-wood off the tee to sacrifice distance for control; I learned to, well...I learned to play it safe.

I knew I couldn't compete on any pro tour or even have a chance to win a local tournament. Yet I continued to suck all the fun out of golf by focusing only on that silly number written down with those silly little pencils. I knew something had to change - I needed to shift that focus from my score, to the game itself.

And that's when I decided to embark on my quest: To play every 18-hole public course in the state of Connecticut. Now it may not have been the most adventuresome quest in golf (people that set-out to play the top 100 courses in the country, or even the world have got some time and money on their hands), but it wasn't exactly something to sneeze at either (after all, The Constitution State had...at the time...66 golf courses meeting my criteria).

I quickly drew up a schedule for 2003 (and 2004, 2005, 2006 & 2007 to boot). Being married and working a full-time job, I knew this quest would take a few years. That being said, I settled on a schedule that would keep half my summer weekends free, while still enabling me to complete said quest within a reasonable amount of time - I would play roughly two rounds a month for seven months of the year (April - October) for five years.

Of course, no quest would be complete without people to experience it with. So I emailed the schedules to all my golfing buddies - hoping at least one of them would accompany me at every course (and that pretty much happened - at least one golf buddy played with me at each course along the way).

So I had this quest, and I had people to experience it with. But what about documenting it? Rather than keep a diary in the traditional sense, I decided to photograph and review every course I played. But as I reviewed them, I realized many of the course descriptions sounded similar on paper. So I began compiling a rating system based on a set of six criteria to help me distinguish between the courses (you can learn about those criteria HERE).

The more courses I played (and subsequently the more courses I rated and wrote about), the more I began to realize what makes a good golf course (at least in my opinion). This quest took me to the lushest of courses; where greens-fees greatly exceeded $100; where bag-boys loaded your clubs on the cart at the beginning of the round and cleaned them for you at the end of the round; where every blade of grass reminded you of Augusta. Yet the same quest took me to the shabbiest of courses; where chain-link fences protected tee-areas from errant shots; where driving range mats replaced worn-down tee-boxes; where the fairways were so dusty, you'd swear the carts ahead of you were part of Rommel's tank battalion.

After completing my quest at the end of the 2007 season, it took two years for me to embark on my next adventure - contributing to this blog and helping to develop golfstinks.com. And this too benefited from my quest - a new feature you will be seeing very soon on this site is the ability to search and rate golf courses the golfstinks way (not-to-mention you can read all my ratings and reviews for those Connecticut courses too). But I'd have to say the real benefit was to me. I learned a bunch in those five years...mainly to forget about my score and just have fun playing the game I love.

So get out there and experience what golf has to offer. Drop a C-note on an awesome track once in a while; drive two hours to experience the latest Nicklaus or Jones design; get out there and forget about the rest of the world...Don't worry, your home course will be waiting for you when you get back.

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Inside Cond� Nast Traveler's Golf Resort Ratings

Cond� Nast Traveler has released its Top 125 Golf Resorts issue and I'm wondering how many of us should actually take this list seriously? The list was compiled from the publication's 2010 Readers' Choice survey, which was conducted online and had nearly 26,000 respondents.

That's allot of respondents, but can these results really be that accurate? Firstly, how many resorts have these respondents vacationed at? My guess is not many (and certainly not all 125). So if they've stayed at only one or two, there really isn't much basis for comparison. When people choose a resort, they typically select one they've heard of (perhaps through lists such as in Cond� Nast Traveler).

After visiting a resort, some people will then take the online survey (which could be years removed from when they were actually there), thus providing more (possibly outdated) feedback on a resort that is already on the list. With data being collected on the same resorts over and over, I surmise it would be an uphill battle for new resorts (or those who have undergone vast renovations) to make the cut, despite offering a similar experience to those listed (especially considering resorts had to receive a certain number of responses to make the list to begin with). All this leads to a somewhat flawed rating system in my opinion.

But what's even more interesting is Cond� Nast Traveler hasn't actually produced a top 125 list at all. Instead, it has taken golf resorts that received the most responses and ranked them by region. First they hone in on the typical U.S. golf vacation states like Arizona, California, Florida and Hawaii. Then the publication provides top lists for the Northern, Western and Southern U.S. (aforementioned states excluded). Finally, it compiles a measly top 25 list for golf resorts from the rest of the world. The lists combined total 125 resorts.

Cond� Nast Traveler buckets resorts in this manner because they have no data to legitimately rank 125 golf resorts in order from best to worst. After all, they are only going off a volunteer survey, which typically draws from the same old pool of resorts, rated by people who really have no basis for comparing such establishments in the first place.

But what about the fact that this info exists at all? Sure, these lists can be fun to look at, but are they realistic? Seriously, how many of you plan on actually vacationing at one of these golf resorts this year? For starters, these places aren't cheap. According to the publication, rates are listed in three categories and represented by dollar signs: "$"; "$$"; and "$$$" - where prices encompass "the least expensive double during peak golf season." Well, the "least expensive" turns out to be $350 or less ($); $350-$499 ($$); and $500+ ($$$) - it doesn't specify, but I assume this is per night; golf not included - ready to pack the old clubs yet?

All this makes me wonder who's really benefitting from this list being published?

So with that said, I'd like to see how many of our readers are planning an excursion this year to one of these top golf resorts. Take the poll* below and let us know.

Will you play a Top Golf Resort in 2011?

*It should be noted that respondents to this poll are on a volunteer basis and are drawn from the same old pool of this blog's readership.

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10 Things Golf Courses Get Wrong

I enjoy nearly all the golf courses I play...truly, I do. But there are some annoyances that make even a great course lose some of its luster. Here are a few of those annoyances:

When There's no Yardage Markers
Ever play a course with those 150-yardage polls in the middle of the fairways? I wish all golf courses used those. I don't mind the red, white and blue discs either - they're old school, but they do the trick. But when a course has no yardage markers, that just gets my goat. What am I supposed to do, count-out my paces to the center of the green and then walk back to my ball? Some courses use an ambiguous shrub as the 150 marker - which sort of works, until that one hole where you can't tell which little shrub is the marker: "I thought the little boxwood was the 150 but it was really the little pine tree - oh well, I only overshot the green by 30 yards."

When There's Not Enough Water Jugs
It's hot and it's humid. You arrive at the 3rd hole and there's a water jug waiting for you. You think; "Cool, this course has a water jug every few holes." But then you don't come to another one till the 16th. WTF? On like 11, you begin seeing water jug mirages. By the 16th, you can spot the water jug 50 yards away - calling to you like an oasis in the Sahara. Come on courses - get with the program! There needs to be at least 2 jugs per 9-holes - that's just common human kindness.

When You Need a Hammer to Get the Tee in the Ground
I've actually broken tees before trying to force them into the ground. Why is this even an issue? Water the freaking tee-box for crying out loud! There used to be this 9-hole track in my neighborhood that all the old timers would play. I kid you not - almost every one of them carried a rubber mallet in their bag to bang the tee into the ground on various holes. It got so bad they actually convinced management to replace some of the tee-box turf with driving range mats. Pathetic.

When it's Cart Paths Only
Why am I even taking a cart? Look, I understand the course wants to keep it's fairways nice, but cart path only is ridiculous. At least make it 90 degrees! Enough said.

When it's Carts Only
I know, I know - it helps speed up play on the weekends. But to force people to ride is a bit greedy, no? Most courses already charge more to play on the weekend anyway. But when they mandate carts on the weekend too, it just gives them the justification to jack the price up even further. If some golfers want to walk, they should be able to. If someone starts slowing up foursomes behind them, then have a ranger tell them to speed it up. Ah, but having a ranger out on the course costs money, whereas having a mandatory cart rule makes money...it all makes sense to me now.

When You Can't Call Ahead to Order Food at the Turn
Every course should do this. Is it too hard to put a menu on the 9th-tee (perhaps taped to the water jug) with the phone number of the 19th-Hole? It would help keep the pace of play moving if your food is ready for you when you make the turn.

When there's no 19th-Hole
Believe it or not, there are 19th-holeless courses out there. No beer, no wings, no hot dogs. Some of these courses will point you in the direction of the vending machines when you're hungry or thirsty. This is just unAmerican.

When Holes are Too Close Together
Either they didn't have enough room to build the course in the first place, or it's just poorly designed. But there's no reason to be ducking on the tee from balls headed to a green 10 yards to your left. I actually hit a guy with my tee-shot at a local mortar range some years ago because the holes were so close to each other. See my story HERE.

When There are Too Many Signs
Some courses have gotten so fed up with people getting hit (probably due to the holes being too close together); misusing carts; or trying to get golfers to follow the local rules; that they end up plastering signs all over the course. Not only is this an eyesore (see photo at top), but it's the last thing you want to see when you're just trying to have a nice day on the course. It's almost like they're yelling at you before you even tee-off. You know, this kind of stuff wouldn't happen if these courses accepted tee-times, paced them 7 minutes apart and had a ranger making sure things go smoothly out on the course. Ah, but having a ranger out on the course costs money, whereas plastering signs up everywhere is far cheaper...(why does this sound familiar?)

When the Customer Service is Poor
If I'm forking over my hard-earned cash to play 18, the last thing I want is some pro shop punk with an attitude or a grouchy starter. Sometimes it seems the staff's whole mission is to get you through 18-holes as fast as humanly possible so they can squeeze more groups in. Whatever happened to golf being a gentlemen's game? I'm not saying a bag boy needs to clean your clubs after the round, but a little hospitality would be nice.

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Attention Public Golf Courses: Make Room for Judge Smails

Ready to trade-in that private club membership yet? No matter; there's a chance your golf course will do it for you. According the National Golf Foundation (NGF), 94 18-hole private courses switched over to public courses in 2010.

Compare that to only 22 that switched from public to private and you start to realize what the golf real estate boom of decades past (coupled with the current economy) has done to private golf clubs. What's more, public golf courses have increased in number in the U.S. nearly 6 percent over the last 10 years; compared to private courses, which have increased just 2 percent.

That being said, I'd like to take this time to welcome private club members to public golf course life. If your country club has been downgraded converted to a daily fee track, don't fret - there's still plenty of top drawer fun to be had. You just need to brush-up on some of your public golf course etiquette:

Firstly; Please take heed of the dress code: Collared shirts must not cost more than $30 and must never be tucked in. Shorts (I'm pretty sure long pants are forbidden) must not have little whales, ducks or other wildlife embroidered all over them. Also, wearing an ascot around your neck or sweater across your shoulders is an open invitation for a 9-iron enema...consider yourself warned.

Second; Please don't linger in the club house before or after your round. Range balls aren't free, so there's no reason to show up too early for your tee-time. And if you're not scoffing-down a bucket of hot-wings in the 19th-hole post round, then you probably should be driving home...after all, you should carve-out some time on the weekend to see your spouse and children.

Third; There's going to be a wait on a few holes and you need to remember to remain calm. Take a deep breath (bring a paper bag to breathe into if necessary). This anxiety will pass once you come to terms with the fact that the round is going to take longer than 3 hours. Also, while you're out on the course, you may get stuck behind a foursome that will appear to have never played golf before. Don't worry - this is the Tennis Shoe Crowd and they are a completely normal occurrence. Simply play through when they are all in the woods searching for their drives.

Let me think...are there any more tips? Well these are a good starting point. Remember, there's going to be an adjustment period, but don't let that discourage you. Playing on a public golf course is nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, think of all the interesting people you will meet...like me! Just try to keep your chin up (not because you're depressed over losing your elite status, but because if the Tennis Shoe Crowd is teeing off, you don't want to get smacked in the face with an errant shot).

See you in April!

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Analysis: What Makes a Golf Course Great

For the last year or so, Golfstinks has been collecting information on what makes a golf course great. We intend to apply what we've learned to the Golfstinks Golf Course Rating System, which will rank every course at the state/province level and at the national level.

Why would we want to do this? Well, for one, it would be cool to have rankings for every course, wouldn't it? Think about this scenario; You're traveling to a city and want to squeeze in a round of golf while you're there, but which course should you play? Just zip on over to Golfstinks.com's course search, filter by location and then sort by course rankings - voil�, instantly find the highest ranked course within your price range, pack the clubs and enjoy!

Anyway, we created a survey and posed some pretty basic questions, including "How often do you play?" and "How much do you typically pay for greens fees?" But the meat of our survey asked; "Of the following six criteria, which is most important to you?" Here are those criteria:

Difficulty

Layout

Grooming

Hospitality

Scenery

Price

Recently, the survey reached 100 responses (thank you)! We've taken those initial 100 responses and have begun looking at what you said about a great golf course experience.

Findings
First, let's take a look at who took the survey: That would be predominantly males (91%) between the ages of 50-59 (28%). The second most frequent age group was 30-39 (23%), followed by 40-49 (22%). These golfers predominantly play at public/muni courses (56%) and average 50 rounds or more annually (24%). It should be noted that 22 percent of the respondents average between 30 & 39 rounds annually, while 20 percent of them average between just 10 & 19 rounds annually.

Now onto the meat and potatoes: Of the criteria listed above (based on three possible answers: Very-, Somewhat-, and Not Important), most respondents (74 out of 100) chose "Layout" as a "Very Important" feature of their hypothetical great golf course. In addition, 71 chose "Scenery" and 69 chose "Grooming" as also "Very Important." This came as somewhat of a surprise to the Golfstinks team. We figured scenery and grooming would be very important to most golfers, but layout?

We then asked respondents to rank the six criteria in order of importance to them (which forced them to reveal what they felt would be the most important feature of a great golf course). As with the previous question, "Layout" again proved important - receiving the most top votes (26). Then something interesting happened: "Price" garnered the second-most top votes with 24 ("Grooming" and "Scenery" only received 17 and 15 top votes respectively, placing them 3rd and 4th). What's interesting about this is in the previous question, more respondents (49) felt "Price" was only "Somewhat Important" versus the 43 respondents that felt it was "Very Important." Even more interesting, 23 respondents said "Price" was least important to them (which is just one less than those who felt it was most important)!

Perhaps not surprisingly, course "Difficulty" is not very important. In fact, it received the most least important votes (33) of the six criteria. Meanwhile, many respondents (55) said "Hospitality" was "Very Important" to them. But when the next question forced them to rank it amongst the other criteria, it placed second-to-last.

Some discussion on the findings:
While an appealing course layout is a matter of personal style, it's clear golfers feel strongly about how a course is designed - even though individual opinions may differ from course to course (which makes it extremely difficult to establish what a good layout actually is). What we have learned is layout matters; and our ratings will reflect such.

Greens fees are another hard-to-guage area - it's either the end-all, or just an after thought. To a good chunk of the respondents (26), price is everything - so much so, that cost was more important to them than any other course attribute (e.g. they'd rather the course be inexpensive than beautiful). Perhaps the current economy played a role in their answers, but remember, the whole point of the survey was positioned as "what makes a golf course great" - despite this, price was still an important factor to many, which is interesting. BTW, it should be noted that most respondents (46) said they typically pay between $40 & $60 for greens fees.

Conclusions
What we liked about this survey was how the first two questions checked each other. While our first survey question (asking if the 6 criteria were Very-, Somewhat-, or Not Important) established what an off-the-cuff reaction would elicit, the second question forced people to really think about which criteria was most important to them. In other words, we could have just casually asked a bunch of random golfers what their dream course would offer, but they would have just said the same for everything (e.g. good grooming, good layout, good hospitality, good scenery, good price). By forcing them to rank those criteria, we can now better pin-point what ingredients make a golf course great.

The survey did have some issues we hope to fix going forward. For example, our custom age ranges cannot be cross-tabulated with those from the US Census Bureau. In addition, it may be beneficial to have a question asking what makes a good course layout.

Overall though, these results are a promising start to weighting our course rating criteria. The original survey can be seen HERE. Feel free to comment below on how we can improve on our survey.

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Why I Love Taking 5 Hours to Play Golf

Do you know one of the reasons why I like playing close to Thanksgiving in New England? I usually have the whole course to myself (save for a few wandering souls here and there). I enjoy my round just a little bit more when I don't feel rushed (or, conversely, if I'm waiting 4 foursomes deep on the tee).

Yep, this time of year, I can squeeze-out 18-holes in about 5 hours.

Now I know what some of you are thinking: "Five hours!? Are you crazy!? What are you, a tortoise? With no one in front of me, I could finish a round WAY faster than that!"

Yep, I surmise you could. But if you find yourself alone; on a perfect day; on the golf course; at the end of the season; and you blow through your round in 3 hours...I have news for you: You're an idiot.

What is this fascination we have with haste? Why, when we set out to do something, must we do it in the fastest way humanly possible? How can this possibly make sense for everything we do? I mean, I understand haste when the situation warrants it: "Holy...My sleeve's on fire! Quick, splash me with that bucket of water as fast as humanly possible!" Completely understandable. Or: "Can you lift this boulder off my leg as fast as humanly possible?" Again, nothing strikes me as odd there.

How about this one: "What a beautiful day to be out on the golf course! There's cool breeze, warm sun and it appears we're the only group for several holes! Let's play as fast as humanly possible."

Sounds ridiculous, right? See? That's my thought exactly. Yet, there are many, many golfers who are off to the races the second they step foot on the first tee - like it's a challenge to finish in record time. You know, they have a golf variation for that - it's called Speed Golf, and you can read about it HERE.

Think you're not a speed golfer? Consider this: How do you feel about a 5-hour round? Do you cringe at the thought? Maybe you just think: "Gee, that's an awful long time for a round of golf." In either case, you're doing yourself a disservice. After all, this is a game you love. You've waited all week to play; confirmed (three times) with your significant other that you'll be on the course Saturday; and spent an outrageous sum of money on new golf balls. Face it, you love it. Soooooooo...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU RUSHING FOR?

I blame the courses. Think about why 4 hours is the norm. It's not because old Tom Morris had to rush home and mow the lawn! No, it started because golf course managers figured out they could make more money if they got people to play faster! It's basic economics. There's only so much daylight and the quicker they can shove people through the course, the more greens fees they can collect. So now the problem is everybody thinks golf was meant to be played in 4 hours!

Obviously courses can and do put you on the clock - I understand that - they have to make money to stay in business. But I don't have to accept that as the norm! That's why I thoroughly enjoy when no one is around me - because I can play at a comfortable pace. Have you ever timed what your "comfortable pace" is on the course? Unless you're a speed golfer, I bet it's close to 5 hours.

Look, no one likes to wait on every hole, but there's a difference between waiting and slowing down and enjoying. Next time you've got a few holes open behind you, slow it down and enjoy - you'll find 5 hours isn't so bad after all.

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You Know that Local Course You Love So Much?

I'm a public course man - my golf "high" comes from playing different places every week. But when you've played as many as I have, they all tend to blend together - fairways, greens and traps meld with each other as if they were all part of some impressionist painting - only when I step back and take-in the big picture do courses' most striking features reveal themselves.

But this time of year in the northeastern U.S., the golf season is winding down. Some of my golfing buddies have already stowed their clubs till spring. Even I find myself scaling back; playing 9-holes more frequently. And usually when I play 9-holes, it's at one place that I never forget about: Sleeping Giant Golf Course.

I think every town or region has a Sleeping Giant Golf Course. If it doesn't, it should. Sleeping Giant is the quintessential local 9-hole golf track: it's short, but not an executive layout. It's well-groomed but not Augusta. It's a confidence booster but taking risks can hurt you. The price is nice, but not pathetically nice.

Perhaps one asset the course has over some of its 18-hole brethren is its scenery. The course is nestled in the shadows of, well...the Sleeping Giant - a formation of hills that "resemble" a person sleeping on their back. Native tribes of the area used to call the Giant "Hobbomock" and thought it to be an evil spirit. Coupled with the Native American folklore, the Giant sets a dramatic backdrop to the course - especially this time of year, when he is ablaze with oranges, reds and yellows (see photo at top).

Despite being pretty close to civilization, Sleeping Giant Golf Course gives you the feeling that you're miles away from anywhere. Usually I'll arrive with one other playing partner (many times my dad, who's in his 70's and still playing) and we'll be paired up with other father/son or father/daughter combos. It seems no matter who you're paired with, or if you run into a wait on a particular hole (typically the 7th - a short par-4 where everyone goes for the green but ends up in the left woods) you still find yourself completely enjoying the round.

I had my first eagle at Sleeping Giant (dropped a wedge-shot from 125 yards); played the last two holes in the dark multiple times; and almost parred the course...twice - only to miss the same 4-foot putt both damn times on the 9th (a brief aside - typically I don't shoot anywhere near par, but I know this course so well, not-to-mention it's a relatively easy track, that if I'm on my game, I have a chance).

Sleeping Giant Golf Course embodies so many great little tracks out there. The PGA Tour (or even the Hooters Tour) will laugh at the notion of playing there; the Golf Digest or Golf Magazine top course lists will never give it a second thought (or even an initial thought); but you know it exists. And you love it. And that's all that matters.

If you reside where it's about to get cold; get in the car and go play that course (you know the one I'm talking about). Oh, and forget about your score and just enjoy - take a step back and take it all in...remember, this is why we play golf.

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The Truth About Walking the Golf Course

Now I realize if you walk the golf course, there's no place to put your beer. I get it. I've been guilty of using the cart as a portable keg too.

It's so much easier to ride out there - no long walks between tees; no feeling like a mountain goat; no fatigue over the last few holes.

Besides, when your doctor tells you to get more exercise, he doesn't mean to go play golf - at least my doctor didn't: "Golf is stop-and-go, Greg, you don't get enough of a workout walking a little, stopping to hit a ball and then walking a little more."

But golfing has got to count for something, doesn't it? We've posed this question before, in this post, more than a year ago. But now we actually have some proof that walking the golf course is not only healthy, but it's also a good way to get some exercise.

A recently published study entitled "Physical Activity Parameters for Walking Golf Participation: An Analysis of Volume and Intensity" from Mark D. Peterson (Department of Exercise and Wellness at Arizona State University) has provided us some interesting findings.

Mr. Peterson set-out to prove that the volume and intensity of activity while walking 18-holes could be pinpointed by using modern technology. He began by recruiting healthy men between 18 and 30 years of age at a local, average-sized (6,605 yards) golf course in Mesa, AZ. Each participant was required to walk 18-holes (from the same tee-box) while wearing an accelerometer, a pedometer and a heart-rate monitor. In addition, each participant had a GPS logging device attached to the back of their hats.

Each device recorded a different variable for the study. For example, the accelerometer recorded the "intensity of ambulatory physical activity," which could then be measured against established standardized categories such as sedentary, light, moderate and vigorous activity. Meanwhile, the pedometer was used to calculate total steps taken during the round and the GPS measured total distance traveled. The heart monitor measured heartbeats per minute.

Mr. Peterson then took the data he had collected and measured it against recommended standards for health maintenance and wellness: "It has been recommended for health maintenance and wellness that individuals attempt to accumulate 7,000 and 13,000 steps, and/or 30-60 minutes of moderate-intensity physical activity, on all or most days of the week."

Mr. Peterson's data revealed walking the course EXCEEDED these recommendations.

On average, data showed the participants' number of steps taken were at the higher-end of the spectrum (12,197 steps). Particular striking, Mr. Peterson's data shows that the majority of activity while walking on the golf course was bucketed into the category of "Moderate/Vigorous" activity (e.g. on average, the golfer spent 105.4 minutes of the total 182 minutes on the course doing moderate to vigorous activity). In addition, results showed that participants' heartbeats exceeded 100 beats per minute more than 65% of the time. The full study can be downloaded HERE.

While it's true that walking the golf course results in fluctuating activity, it also appears true that the majority of that activity is exceeding the recommended standards for health maintenance and wellness. Hear that Doc? Golfing not only isn't hurting my health, but it's actually helping keep me in shape! Now I wonder what the opt-out clause on my gym membership contract is?

Despite the fact that Stinky Golfer Greg may have taught his doctor a thing or two about golf and exercise, he is in no way, shape or form qualified to be giving medical advice. Always check with your physician before using golf as a substitute for real exercise.

Related posts:
Is Golf Exercise?
Hacking Away At Calories

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