Golf Stinks, but this is Ridiculous...

Apparently the state of Illinois has a skunk problem. So much so, The Wall Street Journal decided to publish an article about it yesterday (on page A7 no less - must have been a slow news day).

What piqued my interest though was the sub-headline that this plethora of pee-yew is also affecting local golf courses. It seems "the skunks tear up the courses while digging for grubs."

The publication interviewed one animal control professional who was hired by the courses to remove the critters. This guy proudly claimed to have taken out (e.g. shot dead) nearly 30 skunks on two courses (apparently this is totally legal in Illinois).

Can you picture this guy maneuvering covertly around the course a la Carl Spackler? According to the article, he would stalk his prey on the course and once he spotted his target, he would hop "out of a small SUV and shoot them with a .22-caliber rifle."

Geesh! What's next? Dropping C-4 explosives into their burrows and taking cover? You know, not for nothing, but I don't see anyone out there blasting away at the Canadian Geese that are on the course - I mean, there's way more of them roaming around and for goodness sake, they're actually shitting all over the fairways and greens!

Alright, so maybe we can't just go around knocking-off gaggles of geese. But I'll tell you one golf course pest we should be looking into...Does anyone know what a Cicada Killer is?

OK, maybe you've heard of Cicadas - those large bugs that leave their shell behind on trees and make that annoying noise on summer evenings? Well, there's a type of wasp that specifically hunts them, and it's called a Cicada Killer.

These things are freaky - they look like gigantic bees (probably 1.5 to 2.5 inches in length). Anyway, these guys burrow in holes in the ground, and golf courses are a favorite haunt of theirs - especially in the sand traps and on the greens. I've personally seen them on a few local courses up here in Connecticut and while it's rare they sting humans, they're still scary as hell in person. Check out this video of Cicada Killers on a golf course.

But let's get back to the skunk issue in Illinois for a moment. It seems our malodorous mammal friends are not just invading the Prairie State. Earlier this year, they also infested a neighborhood and golf course in Tennessee. To make matters worse, the golf course (Fox Den County Club) was getting ready to host a Nationwide Tour event: "'The last thing we really need out here is a skunk problem,' said course superintendent Scott Severance."

Well Scott, I guess you could convince the owners to change the course name to Skunk Den Country Club (ba-dum-DUM). Seriously though - you golfers be careful out there...

Posted in: cicada,cicada killer,course,geese,golf,golf stinks,golfstinks,illinois,knoxville,skunk,Tennessee